When someone makes you uneasy..

[BBwolefs]

What do you do?

I have a friend who is also my DP of 8 yrs mothers godchild. She has "known" DP simce childhood but DP and friends versions of how well / how close differ quite greatly...

This person was in the same year group as me at school but i didnt know her as such, again a history she doesnt seem to remember.. Anyway when I had my DS we started to meet and she seemed fine, however around my DP she always seemed a
Bit odd, a bit OTT?
We were friends for a while and during that time I did a lot for her to support her through tough times. More recently we have drifted and she has done some quite annoyong things to me, although seemingly without intention.

At the last time the two families met again it was all a bit weird and I find the way she is around my DP still unsettling...

Would you cut ties? I think inshould, not in a great dramatic way just in a phase out way..
I am due DC2 this year and have DC1s bday party so think I am likely to have to see them at some point, but gut feeling is that i feel
Uneasy for a reason?

Sorry if its a bit vague i dont want to
Out myself in RL

It's not a crime to be direct, some people are just like this. I wouldn't take on her embarrassment either. Don't understand why you're cross though?

You have given your opinions by inferring that i am down playing the situation. Perhaps i should have beenClear.

MIL is her god mother neither family os religious And the familes are probably the opposite of close.

I am concerned as she was a good friend and her odd behaviour makes me think
Perhaps there is stuff going on and that she may need support for, certainly her odd behaviour makes me concerned. Perhaps i should have said concerned
Rather than uneasy.

My issue is i cant exactly say why are you acting so weird so its easier to avoid her, but thats not exactly kind.

BBwolefs no-one in this thread used those distasteful remarks about you. generally MNHQ tend to dislike threads about threads or references to other threads...

Since you are so very bad tempered with posters here perhaps you should do as you feel best? Most of us have said what we'd do.

If you don't enjoy her company and she makes you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason then you shouldn't feel obliged to put up with her because she has a history with your dp's family. Some people like to be centre stage and harping on about the past allows her to do this. You have no role to play in that so I can see how your a bit put off by her. Go with the distancing if that's what you want.

Forget it i will have thread pulled i simply cant explain this situation Adequately it would Seem..

Tbh it did sound in your op like you were concerned with her flirting with your DH.

Is she called Sharon, perchance?

Fran there you have i think thats what i meant, the harping on about the past makes me feel I have an obligation (despite MIL not seeing her from one year to the next)

As i said i feel a bit peeved no one seems to grasp my point, its irritating having inferences made, some people seem to read and make odd jumps.

Oh yeah call me a troll. Try checking my history or checking in on my antenatal
Thread that ive called home since 07.

Evidently ive misrepresented myself.

Blimey OP
Chill out!!
Why so aggressive?
And what on earth is all that nasty stuff about grief wank
If you explain yourself clearly to statt with the people won't get the wrong end of the stick!

Op why rant? It does not make you look like the balanced one here.

Your op was quite clearly suggesting you thought she was a flirt around him. That is why everyone took that view point. If you will write a mystic op then get pissed because people don't understand....

I'd just do pleasantries as you say, Hi and Bye if you happen to meet. Don't feel obliged to invite to parties or births. If she has a problem she can ask and you can say that you aren't exactly bff's as it can be 6 plus months between contact. She thinks she's 'family' that doesn't mean she has to be treated that way. As an aside I've been on and off mumsnet since dd 12 yo was born and I notice that some poster's responses are a little unhelpful ... I won't go there .

Er your totally incomprehensible OP did make it sound like you were concerned about her flirting. Instead of attacking those that have sought to assist you maybe you should try writing a clearer account of what is actually bothering you

And WTF are you on about a grief wank?

Some of us simply dont have time to make epic OPs, and tbh i simply couldn't have put it much better without compromising myself. Oh well. My tone and intonation cannot be felt in the written word and aggression? Really? Im just a bit peeved that because ive not done myself justice in my OP ive been labelled as insecure and a troll... Tis a bit annoying but hey ho.

Fran I think you are right on all counts I suppose if my inlaws and DP feel no need to stay in touch I shouldnt feel Guilt, I just feel a bit mean. Thanks

"around my DP she always seemed a
Bit odd, a bit OTT?"

Insecurity? A crush? Common or garden nut-jub. Whatever the reason, if you don't like her any more you can ease her out gently by being too busy to meet up until she gets the message. It's actually easier to dump partners than it is to dump unwanted mates.

Sought to assist - pmsl - really suggesting her dp is trying to get his leg over this woman is helping. I wish you the best of luck for your 2nd dc's birth BBwolefs but I'm bowing out now as this thread reminds me of playground bitches trying to justify their behaviour.

Your language is aggressive and actually quite offensive OP
Who called you a troll?
Your OP wasn't clear at all, sorry!

Who called you a troll? I think it's you who is imaging stuff that isn't there!

Who suggested he was trying to get his leg over?

Am I a parallel universe and missing a load of posts?

Fran thanks for your help! You have conveyed how i feel

Cog you may have a point there. (and to
Clarify that is what i said ODD as in referencing the past alot, and OTT as in super loud expressive self depreciating and unkind to get own partner. This only seems to happen around males)

Anyway thanks for all of your help, your time is appreciated even if ive not made myself clear, which it would Seem ive not. I shall leave this thread now.

Her own partner! Fucking self correcting phone!

Ref comment who called me a troll a poster referred to me as sharon, sharon being well know wine throwing troll.

Anywho
As i said thanks

To come back to your OP, if you're feeling uncomfortable around someone then it's perfectly acceptable to cut contact.
It's your and your decision only.
I can't make head or tail here, but it does not really matter, does it - you don't like her, you avoid her.

Op, I wasn't calling you a troll, honest.

It's just you seem a little...ranty and confusing?

No offence meant.

Anyhoo, yes just phase her out.