What should I think of this? Perspective needed please

[GrizzlyFrontBum]

Im overdue. So not rational. Hot. Tired. Etc

Dp is asleep.

I've just been looking through his phone. (left openly around - he's told me the pass word before)
Mainly snooping to see what witchy shit my MIL has been emailing to him. Any way.. I digress.

DP has been forwarding all the photos I email to him of the DC to one particular other person. A colleague.
Of whom I've never met. He requests photos some times - "send me a photo I miss you guys"

But there is one photo that doesnt sit right. Last week DP and our youngest were asleep when I got up - I took a photo, they were snuggled together is was really really cute, both faces inches from each other with dd2s hand on his cheek. (crisp white bed linen - sunny room, looked staged!!) any way. I sent this to him Monday morning as he had left for work dd2 had a melt down etc and he said he hated leaving - so I sent him the picture via email sayIng love you have a good day.

He's obviously Topless - Although photo of him is just his face / torso -
He sent this photo to that woman at work too!??

I mean - why would some one at work want to see intimate photos like that?

Do tell me to get a grip if you like. I shan't be sending any more pictures though.

I think don't panic!

I would ask him though why she is so interested in the kids?

Hope you get some sleep!

Ok, I hate to say it but that does sound a little off. Did you look to see if there were any other messages/texts of any sort to or from this woman?

Does you DP know you sometimes look through his phone? If so you could simply come out and ask him.

She's replied to a few of the photos with "aww cute" etc when been of children but it's the photo of HIm. In our bed. Why would you send that to a colleague?

and I've just looked her up on Facebook and she's all thin and pretty

And in a text to a different friend in DPs own words - apparently im GIGANTIC.

STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE!!!

Talk to DP in the morning.

Things always seem worse in the middle of the night.

Yeah but I think I've had niggley thoughts about her before.

Hmmm.

Now I'm pisseed off

3 weeks ago I was admitted to hospital with suspected Pre eclampsia.

He's sent her an email saying he wouldn't be in work.
She replied hope that I'm ok - asked how he was managing etc and was he looking after the Dc
He replies "grizzlyfrontbum" on way home. Hospital say she's just tired. See you soon.

I had a virus and was really poorly actually. You twat!!!!!

Why would you send photos of your kids to a colleague either though? I could see maybe as a one-off - you get to chatting with work colleage, "oh you have kids", "yeah you want to see a picture", "ok". But repeatedly? That is strange. And yes, a half naked (even if totally innocent) photo of yourself - really not on. I'm sorry but that would set alarm bells ringing for me.

Sorry about the 'gigantic' comment - I don't know you or your DP but that would worry me less - do you think you might be a little sensitive to all things bump-related at the moment? Personally I was f**g HUGE when I was pregnant with my 2 and was the first to admit it!

Is he on Facebook?

STOP!!!!!!!

He cannot defend himself (expect is still asleep).

Can you honestly say that NOTHING you had ever written in a text message, on e mail or Facebook could be misconstrued by your DP?

Well I wouldn't tell some one that my partner was "just tired" when they were heavily pregnant and had been admitted to hospital. Especially as at the time it was looking like they may deliver me early!! It's like he's dismissing how poorly I was.

Yes he is on Facebook. He barely uses it though. They are friends on their though.

Yes yoga I am slighty fed up with my current size!!

I had pre-eclampsia and was admitted for 8 days when pg with our DTs. I wouldn't have a fit if DH texted that I was 'just tired' to someone. I'd assume he was stressed out / trying to fob the other person off with a short explanation.

It's not like he said "the lazy slob just wanted the day off'.

Sorry Bombastic, I know we're giving opposite advice here adn I may well be stirring the pot for no good reason. But a year ago I would have told you I trusted my (now X)H totally, 100% with my life. That whatever other faults he might have he would never, ever cheat. I came on here and was fuming when MN shouted "he's cheating"! I buried my head in the sand and refused to believe a word of it. Of course he was cheating.

And if Grizzy's partner is cheating, he will LIE.

Check his Facebook account - look to see if there are private messages. Knowing is better than not knowing. Knowing is bloody hard. Not knowing will drive you totally insane.

Op I put all my photos on Facebook. So everyone I know sees baby photos. Infact dp's profile picture is that of him and DS asleep with their faces touching.

I really wouldn't worry

previous thread

LST - again, I think posting photos on facebook is very different from sending them (even the same exact photos) in a private message to someone.

Grizzyly - just looked at our previous thread and doesn't make me feel any better about your situation. Sorry. I hope you figure this out.

OP are you going to confront him? Only my gut feeling but as some else has put earlier it is 'off'. Did you know they were in touch a lot before this?

Until I re-read your name OP I thought he'd nicknamed you that to the woman!

I would have a chat with. Sounds a little off.

How do I confront with 2 small children and being over due and about to pop at any time?

Sorry grizzly, why is he sharing your private, family, life with a woman you've never met?
She's not a mutual friend.Hes doing it secretly. Even if that's all it is (I doubt it) it's not nice...
I would have to ask... Good luck

Just seen previous thread.
Have you got family and friends who you can talk to/ are supportive?
You don't have to say anything to him til after the baby is born if you don't want to but his behaviour doesn't look good.

These things are always horrible but I guess the timing for you pretty much couldn't be worse. Whatever you decide to do, know you've got support here.

Can someone else look after the DCs today so you can talk to him? I'd be fuming about this. Not necessarily sure if they're having an affair but I'd want to understand why he was forwarding the photos on to just her.

I read your other thread too and just wanted to say my dh went off sex when I was pg too and it was soon back to normal after. It sounds like you really need a lot emotionally from him at the moment and he can't give you everything you need. He has told you he's exhausted, you will be too and he probably just can't do what you're asking, when what he does do isn't enough.
Re the photos, just ask him, calmly and see what he says.

Hope things look better now the sun's up. I have platonic male friends who would show me pictures of them with their kids like that because they're just so proud of their family, and would be horrified if anyone thought it was at all inappropriate. On it's own, I don't think this is anything to worry about.