Dating younger men

[ItWentThatWay]

I've been asked out by a guy who is 16 years younger than me. We have been texting and arranged to meet next week. Any thoughts on the age gap? I have to be honest, it does bother me :(

What bothers you about it?

The fact that he's so young compared to me. Only 4 years older than eldest DS. Is that really bad?

You're both adults, who have arranged to meet out of your own free choice. Define what you see as "bad" about your 16 year age difference. Your perception will not be the same as another person's here, and it would be interesting to get to the bottom of what's inhibiting you about this scenario.

If you get on well together, why not?
And if the relationship progresses, at least he'll be fitter than a man 16 years older than you.

If I'm honest I think I feel a little ashamed of what people might say. We are both adults, he's a nice guy, nothing serious, BUT, having said that, I think I'm a little afraid of falling for a guy I see no future with iyswim?

I am a man of 37 and my partner is 52. We have been together nearly 11 years now. Met up as a bit of fun initially ;)

Really snoggy? Wow that's great! I have 3 kids though and he has none so I couldn't really see it as a long term thing. He just says he prefers older women.

Im 33 and my dp is 24. Started out as a bit of fun and we discovered we got on very well and just clicked.

Oh and I had 4 kids who he took on and he had none. We now have a 11 week old dd together.

Thanks for your responses! Really happy for those it worked out for. Might try to chill and see how it goes. I wouldn't have any more kids though.

Congrats sparkly :)

I said that lol.

Lol sparkly :) I'm not far off 40 though! Really don't want to do that again!

did he mention that he is looking for r-ship though? is he fgetting emotional about you? if you are fine with both casual and serious then go for it, but if you ONLY want a r-ship, then I wouldn't advise dating him unless the connection is very very strong and he is falling for you. In most cases (despite examples on this thread which do happen) younger men do not commit to older women long term, but plenty prefer them sexually speaking. If he wants kids later and you don't, of course it's an issue too.

Have to say that it's only because my partner is very mature and doesn't like going out to get wasted that it works. He goes to work full time to provide for us while my Exh is unemployed and pays £5 a week csa so my dp works to provide for kids that aren't his, he goes to the gym with my brother 3 times a week and spends the rest of his time with us as a family.
If he was immature it wouldn't work.

sorry I've missed the fact that he only asked you out for the first time. Try to see it as casual then, but if you can't, don't rush into anything at least.

It depend what you want from him. Men over 25 are past their sexual peak you know ;-)

At the moment it is just fun on both our parts, just concerned about falling for somebody as I've never done the casual thing before. As for him being mature, I really don't know him well enough yet to know.

Lol margery :)

if you aer not used to (or like it) casual, then I'd say don't sleep with him for a while to avoid emotional attachment, get to know him. But really, it's not the best thing to do (much younger men) if you WANT a relationship. I've dates quite a few in the past, never did it work long term, but also I often found them immature/flaky and gone off them anyway .

dated

another thing about young men - they can be very insecure/unconfident and often still finding themselves with career/financially and therefore moody and self absorbed, which can be quite draining, but then it does depends on him personally - is he happy with his job/life in general.

Thanks for your perspective likeatonneofbricks

Not happy with job. Life, not sure. He got messed about not so long ago by his partner. Does not seem needy or insecure so far.

not emotionally needy you mean? I was talking more insecure about themselves in relation to work/career unless he is already successful. I found invariably that work/identity is for younger men number one priority, whereas older/settled men can give you undivided attention (or at least have the r-ship as priority in their life).

at least a priority after their kids (or equal for some). they aer not work focussed or work ridiculus hours to prove themselves.

Yes I meant not emotionally needy. The thing is, I'm currently in the process of a major change on direction wrt career which will take up a massive amount of time for me in the future. So in that respect, I don't think it's too much of a problem.