New relationship

[sarah909]

I am in a new relationship of 3 months and things seem to be going well so far.

I have never had a long term relationship although i would love to have one.

My boyfriend i am seeing is 47 and i am 27.

We see eachother once a week and sometimes at the weekends. We are both busy but have said that we will make time for each other.

I don't have a lot of relationship experience so is 3 months too soon to know if they are 'the one'?

My boyfriend has explicitally stated he doesn't want a fully committed relationship and by that i mean moving in. We are exclusive though.

He does like his own space and has said he is not sure whether he wants to live with someone again however he has said that could change. I hadn't thought that far ahead but the idea of having a relationship with someone and then not living together eventually does not appeal to me in the slightest.

I agree you need your own space but you can have your own space within your partners home i believe by doing your own interests.

Perhaps anyone has some useful advice?

Sarah

No it isn't like that OhEmgee24 but i just feel something is missing emotionally.

3 months in is the time when you want to see each other all the time, excited to get to know each other properly. If he sees you a few hours a week despite the distance and is hard to get hold of, sorry he's not willing to commit. Nothing wrong with meeting people off pof, I met my boyfriend on there. But if he was showing lack of interest in wanting to spend time with me back then id have walked.

@ Sarah - Think that sounds like a wise idea! Hope you find someone more suitable for you. :-)

@ Ohemgee24 how long you been seeing your boyfriend if you don't mind me asking?

Good plan Sarah.

A new relationship like yours should be all lights and sparkly and wanting to spend lots of time together. this sounds too flat.

You can do better than this

My own feeling sarah, is that it is very good that you have articulated to yourself that you want a cohabiting relationship - it may well have made you question this one a lot sooner that you might have.

I think that when you do find the right guy, there would really want to be a bit longer in time before you moved in, but much more importantly a good sussing out process and a much more natural progression. Does he have nice friends and family? Does he slag off his exes (bad sign) Can you manage a holiday together? Cohabiting can be a nightmare to get out of, so you do really want to have a proper feel for what he's like.

My own experience of the right relationship is that it had a really natural, comfortable progression towards commitment. My bad experiences were often slightly non-committal (like yours) or way too intense, too soon. It is really easy to say what's right once you are with the right man though. But when you are, the thing you WON'T feel is ill at ease.

Sarah - 7 months. We became bf/gf after 4 weeks at which point I think we were seeing each other about three times a week. We met each other's friends at 2 months, said "i love you" at 3 and met both sets of parents. Now we are planning on moving in together in the new year.

Oh shit lol Thats how it should be :-( Like i say i haven't met his parents or friends so its a non starter. I don't think he would want to see me 3 times a week he would of thought that was too much so im knocking this one on the head. If i give internet dating another go i shall make it clearer why i am dating. Hopefully better luck next time.

We've all met wrong'uns before. Have fun meeting people and you can definitely afford to be choosy! You deserve someone who wants the same things out of life as you

Oh, did you meet him online? Just being nosey as that's how I met the dick I mentioned earlier!

Yes i met him online. His ex lives in Southend and he in Halstead. :-) Probably on here lol

How long had you been talking before meeting?

The biggest problem i can see on the horizon is children. You mention you may want some one day- have you discussed this with him? If you do the maths he is looking at being nearly 60 with a 10 year old. I have a 10 year old boy and am 42 and i find it hard to keep up with the bik rides / football /ferrying him to football rugby ect ect. I don't think i could be as hands on a dad at 60 as i am now. Worth fast forwarding 10-12 years in your mind and thinking it through.

Sorry just read your last post about knocking it on the head - probably a good idea!

I'm with the others who think he's married.. I went out with someone who was 'separated' a while ago .. turns out he wasn't and not only had the two daughters i knew about but also had a very young baby!!

Glad you are going to end it.
Doesn't sound as though your needs or wants have been taken into consideration in this relationship so better to find one where they are important

If you are really going to knock it on the head, then I offer you my congratulations