Oh Dear! Why did I do it!!!!!!!!!!!!

[smileyforest]

Ok......typical woman thing to do...being nosy...
My partner left FB page open.....so I decided to nose on his conversation with a woman BF of his.....
Feel like I have betrayed him by looking...so feel really, really bad about myself...but done it now.........and suppose he could 'end' it because of what I have done....
Read conversation.....knew he had this friendship...but couple of things just really 'got' to me...
ending with 'love ya!'xxx
Mawah!
Him telling her 'nothing will come between her and their friendship ' when she questioned if I knew about them....
Suppose I'm silly and got what I deserved.......think it could be insecurity on my part...and I could have 'blown' it all now!!!

Oh Dear. How long have you been with him ? Have you met this friend? Do you like her? Why do you think he will end it ?

Sorry lots of questions.

I don't see anything wrong with those messages?

Been together a year.
Thanks Chips....understand....think it has to be me feeling insecure...I'm a mature woman btw...so bit immature...do you think??
Maybe I feel really bad because I was nosing?
No have not met her....

Knew about them? They ARE just friends, aren't they? Otherwise why would it be anything other than open?

Also, as for coming between them, sounds like his friend is very insecure. Friends would be really happy to see their pals falling in love.

Seriously, even if they're not having the odd buddy shag, their relationship sounds oddly exclusive for a 'friendship'.

So how do I deal with it???

He's shagging

I say "love you!" and "mwah!" to my closest male friends, whether they have a partner or not. But. The whole questioning if you "knew" about them would make me slightly suspicious, I'll be honest.

Yes the knowing. V odd.

She's questioning whether YOU know about THEM....

She's his very best friend, but after a year, you still haven't met her....

I would be more than a little pissed off.

Sorry.

My best friend is male and I always end emails/texts with a 'kiss', as does he to me. We have a weekend break, just the 2 of us, at least twice a year...and more often than not would share a bed. DP well aware and has no issues. That said, once I knew DP was a 'keeper' I introduced them to each other.

I'd suggest inviting her and her partner/date/whomever round for dinner and then see what she's like and how they are. I'd consider it a bit odd not to have met someone so important after a year if they're that close.

is this an on-line best friend who he knew 'better' at one time or do they socialise....if so why have you never met this woman yet?...

Sounds like there are 'things' you don't know about the two of them which maybe you should know???....why else would this friend be asking if you knew about her/them, etc....must be something to know I think....

I wouldn't be impressed by this either....it's insecurity because you have come across reason to feel this way....you deserve some explaining given to you/respect for your feelings, etc....

red flags a-plenty here

never mind that you snooped, OP...it may just be a good favour you did yourself

I've got good mates who are of the opposite sex but those FB exchanges seem seriously iffy to me too...

All very suspicious to me - references to whether "you know about her" and "nothing coming between" them has me . Also, if she was very best of friends wouldn't she want to meet you?

say "you left your FB page open and i found this conversation" then ask if there is anything you need to know? if he is angry and cagey then you have your answer. If he is open, my response would be, "well, if shes a friend of yours shes probably cool, be great to meet up" suggest meeting for drinks? just casual, like (keep your friends close, enemies closer - or, more likely, realise that she is just good friends with your DP). It really could just be a case of they have a close friendship but now he is becoming more involved she is worried that the frienship my flounder, simply because they of the oppostie sex? or he could be fucking her - but don't jump to conclusions.

"He's shagging"

What a damaged person you must be.

Oh sO. mops forehead

I've been with DP for 20 months. He has a female friend, who I have known about from the start. I've met her twice. I don't go to hers with DP, that is their time. She would not cope with it due to a number of (MH personal to her) reasons. I have felt insecure at times, and I've talked to DP about them. He's open about their friendship and knows that it is an odd friendship.

They've been friends for nearly 10 years. If DP wanted to be "with" her, he would be, but he isn't. He's with me. She is not an easy person, she can be demanding, she can be difficult, I believe she wants way more from DP than he wants from her. That is her issue to deal with though. He's not interested in her in that way.

If he was hiding things, he wouldn't leave his FB open (your DP, I mean). I know where you are coming from with insecurities. It is difficult with friends of the opposite sex - but if (like my DP), he wanted to be with her, he would.

Hi there...thanks all
Well he just sent an e-mail and all I can say is he is not happy about it and more or less finished it with me....another year down the drain....
Wont talk or txt....something else which I find difficult..
gutted...I paid the price ((((:

erm, I think his reaction rather points more to him having something to hide, not that you "paid the price"

Lucky escape, mate... lucky escape.

I agree! he's cut and run far too easily!

so sorry that you are going through such shite. :-(

I imagine he left the page open on purpose, thereby giving him an ideal excuse to finish things, without seeming to be the 'bad guy'

You are well shot

What is it with the 'cool' dudes that think it's ok for their partners to message other women inappropriately?