Virtual hen Party: Come and give some fun, cheery advice to DeterminedandSpecialMum before she ties the knot!

[OiMissus]

DSM is getting married! Let's give her a 24 hour virtual hen party and warn her of what she can expect as a wife. (Fun, cheery advice and warnings please to send her to her wedding day in a state of bliss.)

Sex on the beach for me mebbe we should start karaoke before everyone's too sloshed to sing...bags Dancing Queen..

These shews are killing me. I shall dance in my stockinged feet. :)
"don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time, I'm having a ball..."

Get a babysitter occasionally, dress up and go to a nice restaurant, and just enjoy each others company and remember why you fell in love.

Remain as polite as possible to your MIL at all times, even if DH has fallen out with her and she's a miserable old bat.

Ooh, it's gone all quiet! Hope you've enjoyed it DSM.... Or have you all nipped over to the late-night-club for a few more???

Where am I? Why am I lying on the floor of a toilet? Where are my shoes?
Where's everyone gone?
Who's STOLEN my drink??!!!!

Dusting out the bunny ears and tail. Here is some bollinger to get the festivities underway and the spa is waiting.

I'm here - piled under all the coats!

Another drink waiter

And the Bolly is out! Oh my, are we starting again?
It'd be rude not to.

DeterminedandSpecialMum under the coats is a wondeful place all warm and cosy like a hedgehog. I believe you might have slipped the waiter your room key

We are indeed OiMissus if we do not stop then the hangovers can not commence.

Oi Be rude not to chill in Spa with a glass of Bolly after a hard nights partying!

DeterminedandSpecialMum it would be very rude not to relax at the spa with a glass of Bolly and a light lunch and the hands of a magic Masseuse.

I have opened my jacuzzi room at the bottom of the garden! Don't step on the dog as you climb in though. Oh, and keep your undies on..... hussies will frighten the neighbours!

Cocktails are mixed for the hardened drinkers well-wishers who are still around.

Cosmo please

So any other advice ladies

I say this is lovely and I can see the children are all happy, with the highly attractive Manny's yum yum. Can I please have a Manny wrapped in chocolate Plllleeeaaassssee. Champers cocktail please.

Phew! That jacuzzi is hot isn't it?

Will you some of you stop dropping your towels on the floor............. please! I know you are wanting to dance around the garden, but retain your dignity!

Take-away supper is being delivered at 9pm. (They know how to find the jacuzzi at the bottom of the garden coz they have been before.)

Any special hen-night requests?

Hmm extra large Sausage please. It is hot hot hot. The children are in bed asleep perhaps the Manny's will join us what happens in the Jacuzzi stays in the Jacuzzi. More bolly darlings???

Ooo more Bolly for me and the fit manny for me too

Billy for me please, and a martini too while we are at it.

Who's Billy? BOLLY!!!!

Passing the bolly now and the Manny's are in their bathers is a billy like a B.O.B?? ALso the strippers are on route it is amazing how little a full watch of firemen cost.

£999 without the £.
Martini. Now we're talking.
But we're not talking much about advice for the bride to be. It seems we're a bit too easily swayed to think about men and bollies. And chocolate willies.
Hmmm advice.
I think wisdom has a lot to do with success in the marriage stakes. Respect is no . 1. If you feel that your respect for DH is slipping, do something about it. Quick! If you can look up to someone, then love and trust come easily. But once respect has gone,...

On your wedding day: have a flapjack or something when getting ready. For a reason I do not know, I was terrified. But you must eat!! You must get sugar in you to get thru the day. Eat a flapjack when getting your make up done.
And don't be scared! My most amazing moment was turning into the hall. But i'd been terrified all morning! Everyone (including DH) was turned to see me enter. Oh my god! their happiness. Their love. All my fears disappeared, and their love and warmth lifted me up - I walked on air the rest of the day. 4" heels, no bother - for 14 hrs!

Wedding day advice: I put little bubble bottles on every table. The bubbles kept the kids entertained during the meal so no one got bored/fractious.

And don't worry about everything being perfect. It will be.
Just make sure that your parents/best man/ maid of honour are fully briefed. It's their job to handle any questions/difficulties. You and DH should be blissfully unaware .