Dh and I have been married 10 years and together 13. He is a wonderful man who I totally adore but the last year has just been awful for me and I can't see it changing.
I literally come last in his world with everything seeming more important than his relationship than me. He works constantly and when he is here he is either glued to his phone or ear plugs on with his laptop. I swear he walls about the house with his phone infront of his face, eats looking at it and goes to the toilet. This is all on the rare occasion he is home.
Sex has just stopped. 3 weeks ago he promised .. Tomorrow night, despite trying I am still waiting. I am sick to death of feeling unwanted and unattactive to him. I tried really hard to get our sex life going and he has turned me down everytime saying he is tired but he has energy for work, golf, mates. We sit here in silence most of the time but he does not seem to think their is a problem.
What's brought it to a head is when our ds age 5 was talking about dh dad to my mum. He died before he was born and my mum said you can ask daddy all about him and ds said "dads not in much I don't see him much". It was like a wake up call and broke my heart that I have allowed this to go on so long.
I work part time and dh never seems to arrange to be around when I'm off. For example he has ds today as I was working till 1, I get home and he is gone with him to his mums (who has already seen them both this week twice) with a note saying he will be back about 6. I know ds will have been left there as he goes off and does his thing and it makes me so angry. There is no thought yet again to me sitting here waiting on them getting home and as I get up at 3am for work I'm in bed by 8pm. We literally go days without seeing eachother and no matter how hard I try I seem of no interest to him.
I have told him how i feel and he said he would make an effort to be here more when I am off for family time but it never happens. When it does it often feels lonelier than when he is away if that makes sense.
I feel so taken for granted and like I have a flat mate as oppose to a husband. I feel sorry for ds that he rarely gets time with the 2 of us. It's like I am a inconvenience to him. No matter how many times I tell him it has never changed just got worse. I seem to cry most days and I am so lonely. What would you do? How can you make something better with someone who thinks things are fine as they are. He really does not seem to notice how unhappy I am.