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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How old were your DC before they stayed alone with GPs?

51 replies

IfImHonest · 30/07/2012 16:28

I love my MIL, I really do. But since my DS was born (he's 4.5) she has been going on, and on, and on, about him staying at her house by himself. My PIL live 2.5 hours away, so it would mean driving up and leaving him there, and then coming back and picking him up - 10 hours in total.
But honestly, it's not that. In my heart, i think - NO NO NO. He's only 4.5, only a baby really Grin , and although he's very close to my MIL I think he'd really miss us. I'd worry.
So AIBU? How old were your DCs when they first started staying alone at the GPs??

OP posts:
CogitoErgOlympics · 30/07/2012 16:30

In my case, GPs looked after DS from about 6m at my house for 2 - 3 days and nights if I had to go overseas. (No partner). He stayed at their house for a fortnight when he was about 2, again because I had to travel for work.

HecateHarshPants · 30/07/2012 16:30

They never have, and they are 11 & 13.

I'm a bit jealous of those who have grandparents who actually want them Envy [pityparty]

MrsHelsBels74 · 30/07/2012 16:32

My son stayed with his grandparents alone for the first time when he was about 22 months old. He was fine, they were fine, I was the only one who worried Grin.

IfImHonest · 30/07/2012 16:32

Oh, I am grateful to have lovely ILs, and that they love their GCs. They would take very good care of him. It's just all a bit soon for me... (PFB clearly).

OP posts:
OlympicTeaDrinker · 30/07/2012 16:33

Er he was about 4 months old.

He was already sleeping through and I was going to a wedding so he stayed at my mums.

He didn't sleep at his other grandmas till he was 8 but thats just cos they don't really bother with him.

DiscoDaisy · 30/07/2012 16:35

DC1 was about 8 mths
DC2 4 mths
DC3 6 mths
DC4 3 mths
DC5 5 weeks
Most first times were overnight but once they got older it has been anything up to 10 days.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 30/07/2012 16:35

DD was about 8-10 weeks old when she stayed with MIL, probably a bit older when she stayed with my parents.

CogitoErgOlympics · 30/07/2012 16:35

How about you arrange for him to go back home with them for a few days next time they visit? You could then have a weekend away and pick him up on the way back. Make the most of some child-free time without having to make a lot of unnecessary trips.

ShowOfHands · 30/07/2012 16:37

DD went once at 3.8 and I hated it. So left it until she was 4.4 and I was due to have dc2 and needed to know overnight care would work out. I still hated it. Grin

IfImHonest · 30/07/2012 16:38

Ok, so I'm being all PFB, aren't I? Cogito, you make an excellent point. That would be lovely.

OP posts:
D0G · 30/07/2012 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Devastatedgiraffe · 30/07/2012 16:39

My In laws only want 5 minutes of fame at Christmas and birthdays. Despite Thier small involvement they are ever present in our marriage. I am another poster who is incredible jealous. Our children have stayed over night with my family since they were a few months.

Why can't you meet half way? I am sure he and his grandparents would have a fantastic time, halfway is no distance at all.

AWomanCalledHorse · 30/07/2012 16:39

4 weeks. We chuck DS at PIL's every other month for a night or 2.

He'll never stay over at my mothers, ever.

ArthurandGeorge · 30/07/2012 16:40

Dd was about 4 months, ds was 6 months.

D0G · 30/07/2012 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Northumberlandlass · 30/07/2012 16:41

Since he was 6 months old with my parents, he has never stayed at MIL house as she doesn't care about him really.

DS is 8 now btw and regularly goes on trips with my parent for long weekends. He is their only grandchild though, and think this makes a big difference. MIL has 11 !!

Indith · 30/07/2012 16:41

Ds1 was about 15 months I think just for 2 nights. dd was older, over 2. The baby hasn't yet. I miss them but they love it, they go for a few days once or twice a year. They are 5 and 3 now.

ArthurandGeorge · 30/07/2012 16:41

Sorry that was for my parents. Dd was at least 1 and probably nearer 2 when she stayed at pils and ds never has (now 2.7) as I don't think that they could cope with both of them and they wouldn't be happy to go without each other.

DontEatTheVolesKids · 30/07/2012 16:41

I am in same boat with Hecate.
MIL once mooted the idea, but we now realise her house is too suffocating dull for any of DC to stick there for long.

motherofallhangovers · 30/07/2012 16:45

I used to stay at my grandparents when I was still in nappies at night (no idea how old that was but I can remember it! 3 maybe?)

I used to love going there.

I sincerely hope DS will be staying over at his grandparents by 4.5.

MrsRhettButler · 30/07/2012 16:47

Around 7ish weeks both times

javotte · 30/07/2012 16:48

Never have, never will.
My mother is not mentally fit to look after them, has never childproofed her house and I don't trust her driving.
MIL lives in another country.

StuckInTheFensAwayFromHome · 30/07/2012 16:52

Cogito's idea is a good one, but also the first time could you go and stay as well - i.e. they are in charge of food, activities, bath and bed but you are also on hand should there be any problems.
See it as a practice run, use it as a chillout time, maybe you could do something in their home town (meal, theatre, etc) with or without your DP?

diddl · 30/07/2012 16:53

Mine never have either.

Not sure if they would have done had it been suggested-unless the child was asking.

CogitoErgOlympics · 30/07/2012 16:55

I'd have thought the GPs can be trusted Stuck. I'm sure they're capable of food, activities and baths. Quick phone-call from DC to the OP before bed-time and, short of desperate emergencies, everyone's happy. I know whenever I picked up DS and they'd say 'he was no trouble' they were probably lying but.... why worry?