Any other harvest widows out there?!

[Lala1980]

Hello. Lonely and frustrated harvest widow would love to chat/vent with other farmers' WAGs...

Back in after everything has been put on hold. It is very cloudy here and despite another wuffle, the hay will not dry. And it is going to rain tomorrow.
Dh is looking gloomier than Eeyore.

Yes, the heart attack was a complete shock as he is fit, slim, does not smoke or drink my polar opposite. Stress does not help.

I was worried that he would relapse as I had an awful job with some of the feistier stirks so sold them then invited the auctioneer round to chat to him. He did the 10,000 mile stare for a while but realised it was a needs must situation.

I'm off to lurk and genuflect round the bailer but is cooling here and jumpers are being dug out. Will have a medicinal whisky this evening, maybe two.

DH has finished the baling and the contractor has almost wrapped everything. We've managed to get 10 acres of 1/2 decent hay too, so DH is happy. He's also just said sorry for being a twat this morning, so he's forgiven.

Am really pissed off though. One of my Indian Runner ducklings caught its leg this afternoon and broke it and then was attacked by the hens, so I've just had to kill it. I'm NOT a happy camper.

Oh, poor little duck. Hens can be complete buggers sometimes. I'm glad your dh is finished now and less stressed. Hopefully you can both enjoy a break for a bit.

Just in am chuffed to make 161 bales from 18 acre field. It is really nice hay.
Dh has made French toast and a post bailing lager.

He can thank me properly later.

Oh it's it is so nice to be reminded that I am not the only one!

The last of the rape should have been done today and then on the remaining 1400acres of winter wheat, however it's just started piddling it down here so I fully expect to have a kitchen full of grumpy men in a minute. All of which will be complaining loudly and leaving muddy boot prints and OSR all over my clean kitchen floor!

All my job applications have paid off, I have just been offered my dream job as an technical writer for an agricultural PR and marketing company. I am so pleased, my current job has been testing my patience for a while now, I have no regrets about handing my notice in tomorrow and then finishing the following week!

CONGRATULATIONS Fieldette!

Our hay has been turned into haylage as it was too damp and DH wanted it baled before the mega thunderstorm we had last night. He's still in a good mood though as he's managed to make 70 bales of decent hay.

Our 2 collies spent the night howling in the kitchen because they are both terrified of thunder and we had a storm to end all storms with forked lightening and everything. Our neighbour had a pylon hit by lightning in his field and it's killed one of his bullocks!

My job for this afternoon is to drive the tractor and trailer whilst DH loads 261 bales of haylage on it I'm feeling put out as I could be riding for the first time this week instead.

Hi. New Harvest Widow here, and it's my first year. I found your conversation in my trying to adapt to this new life.

It's really nice to see I am not alone, even if literally I am alone. My DH (is that partner?) has just started as a wine maker at a big winery here in Spain and over the past month the harvest has gone from early mornings and 5 days a week to now 12 hour night shifts, 7 days a week. I gave up my job in the UK to come here and support him, to make his life easier, and to give being a homemaker a try (also I needed time to recover my health). I speak a little Spanish, but not really to conversational level, so it is going to take a bit of time to get to know people.

So now with the harvest in full swing I have found myself more or less completely on my own (we don't have children) except for the couple of hours when he is home to eat, before and after sleeping.

It's good to see and read about others, so thank you for your posts and conversations.

Congratulations Fieldette!

Welcome, VintageHarvest!
Do you have any new friends where you are living now? Those are very long hours your dh works but surely they will go back to a more normal time once the grapes are all harvested?
You must feel so isolated and I hope you feel better.

Are there any social groups connected to the winery where you can meet some of the other wives or an expat group?

Congrats Fieldetter! How did handing your notice in go today? That's the best feeling in the world when you're leaving a pants job for a great one!

Welcome vintageharvest. Hope you manage to get to know some people soon. Does your DH (DH - Dear Husband, DP = Dear Partner) know many people in spain? If you could meet a couple of his friends it only takes a "click" with one person to then meet all their friends and before you know it you've got a network.

We're onto cultivating now. Is it sad I'm quite looking forwards to listening to all my downloaded saved episodes of the archers in peace on the tractor!?

freerangelady - there is an irony there whereby we feel isolation acutely yet relish the peace and space when we are working.

I think we are topping next then the hellish job of emptying the grain store of lupin seed and rat droppings. The rats got in and spoiled everything plus I doubt the viability of the seed now. We need the space for the barley as there is no proper silo. It is like a Chinese puzzle.
The seed has clumped and set like rock so I'm insisting on bio-hazard suits as it will have to be hammered out with pick axes then disinfected.

It is pouring down here today and the ground is already saturated so it only takes a tiny bit of rain to make the ground mushy and the farmyard permapuddle the size of Lake Michigan.

Ranting to myself here but dh damaged something on Sunday. TMI if I went into detail but he refuses to phone the doctors and is sitting with both legs up like Darcy Bussell. ffs. His Moan Mode is set on high. I suspect an inguinal hernia/ torsion and am tempted to do a homer if he does not see about it.

I also discovered by accident today that he has put my name down for the Ring so I might have to go and bail on other farms. My confidence to do this is now boundless since finding fourth gear on the tractor, yesterday.

For sale or to swap:
Moaning husband with dodgy undercarriage.
Two fighty children
Obese cat

Will swap for valium and nice jam.

Can i join in please ladies.

I have 5 dc, 1 horse (ID x), 1 welsh B and 1 shetland......

Oh and a husband that I can vaguely remember seeing......

He is herdsman on a dairy farm, but ends up being left doing evrything while the others run off harvesting, and then goes straw carting in between and after milkings.

We also have 17 cows of our own ( 4 jerseys and 13 Ayrshires) and one more due imminently.... that belong to my ds's and we show locally, and the farmer lets us run alongside his.

Hello caz
5 children and a herdsman DH (not to mention all the animals)? I take off my hat and salute you madam! What are your coping strategies?

Waves hello at Cazboldy and Vintageharvest.

GentleOtter - we'll take your obese cat. He can join the other 3 fat tubbers more portly cats we have. :) I'll swap him for our semi-feral nutter who insists on killing various small rodents apart from the mouse in the kitchen

DH has managed to get all 261 haylage bales off the field and is now carting the hay. He is forgiven for being rude about my horses, because feeling guilty he cleaned out their shed for me as a surprise and put in fresh straw. We now have a very nice stack of haylage bales blocking the light into the shed...

I have a rather "imperious" neighbour who is very hyper critical of the "working farmhouse chaos" we live in. She came in for a cup of tea earlier (Good old village politics). Baring in mind, we have cleaners and they came this morning, so the house is pretty spotless, she still managed to be ultra sniffy because one of the chickens came in through the cat flap and was helping itself to the cat food on the kitchen counter. Cue a lecture about "kitchen hygiene". Well love, I clean the surface before we use it with dettox and DH and I haven't had salmonella yet.

Hello toughas. I am ruddy cheeked but I suspect that is because of all the gin I drink and I bake lots of cakes!
I also have a geriatric lab and Maurice the mog who is an excellent mouser.

I have a face like a smacked bum, Toughas if that counts.

Apart from Usain Bolt and his groin through in the living room, yes,

Oh, good. Ticks rotund cat off list. dh brought home more wild raspberries and some potatoes. Potatoes were tiny but lovely and I will make wine withfreeze the rasps as we have more jam than is necessary and won't get scurvy this winter.

Rasp whisky - drink 1/3rd, add a cup of rasps to the bottle and a cup of sugar. ready for Christmas. Lovely liqueur.

QuietTiger, your neighbour would have an attack of the vapours in this kitchen although the lambs were evicted after successful revival by the cooker.We had a tiny bantam Cochin, Jenny, who used to hide behind the water tank then steal the cat food.

The neighbour's cattle have escaped and our dogs are going crazy so dh has just gone to help round them up.

Our new baby is here - see pic on profile

breech, but seems ok now. And mum is ok too

Ladyflip - coping strategies?!?

pretty much organised chaos as long as everything and everyone is clean and fed that'll do for me!

Handing my notice was very satisfying today freerangelady! I finish next Wednesday and ten have a week or so off before I start my new fab job. I have a list as long as my arm of things to do!

Just heard the back door go as himself is back from harvesting, best go feed him!

Good morning ladies, and welcome to all the new farmers'wags! Had no idea there were so many of us! On mobile so can't see thread whilst posting. To the lady who's dp/h had a heart attack I hope all is well. Makes me feel bad for moaning about mine. To the lady who handed in her notice, congrats & good luck. To the lady in Spain, I hope you find friends soon. Harvest is hard enough when you have a good support network. And to the lady who thought I was pregnant, that must be someone else. dp has 4 kids already so there's no money or space for me to have one...
As for me, I have had my driving licence revoked for speeding so am cycling everywhere. Have moved horse opposite the farm which saves 12 mile bike ride per day. And dp is becoming more ignorant by the day. Not even a peck or grunted goodbye this morning :-(
Sod harvest... thinking long and hard about if I can really handle this for the next 50 years... dp who is a stranger, 4 evil DSCs and no chance of my own kid... thank god for the pony, dogs, cat and my lovely friends & family...

P.s. Congratulations Cazboldy! X

Oh Lala

get on your horse and head off out for the day..... you will feel much better when you get home xx

gentleotter I adore raspberry whisky! All round to yours when it's ready this year then ;-)

Lala - How do you feel about no kids of your own? That's a lot to give up for someone when they've already had a shot if its something you want a chance at too. Do the SC live with you? My DH can be a stranger sometimes too but then I think I'd rather have that and see him and breakfast and tea and go and sit with him in a combine than only see him at weekends cos he works in an office!

Cazboldy congrats! Do you do much showing? PIL used to do loads and gave up but we've just got a few store cattle back in and I think that could be a long slippery route!

Lots of running around here today doing random jobs - latest harvest ever and we're still not ready! Hopefully the rain will stay away this week. I've got my 16wk midwife appt tomorrow am which I'm quite looking forwards to. Apart from feeling fat I keep forgetting I'm pg!

Morning!

Lala - there is no need for his boorish behaviour whatsoever and you sound exhausted. I discussed your post with my dh this morning and he felt that your dh was out of order and probably had things on his mind. Your dh needs to appreciate the work and support you provide and a bit of QuietTiger's 'debriefing' would not go amiss.
Be kind to yourself and enjoy your horse or something that makes you feel good.

Often, I have had the 'oh sod this' moment and worried about being shut off from the world with only a non communicative, shattered farmer for company (plus our dcs who can be a handful). The sheep and obese cat can sometimes be friendlier and I escape to the field or the big shed.

I'm up in Perthshire if anyone is nearby?

Cazboldy - Congratulations! How lovely! Are you keeping well?

Freerangelady - Good luck with your 16 week appointment.

Today is a bit full on but have managed to get an appt for dh to see doc/ dentist plus strict instructions to rest which were instantly ignored.

GentleOtter one of my good friends farms in Perthshire. Well actually, her family do, she now works in Edinburgh. I lived in Edinburgh for a while a few years ago when I was still young enough to go to YFC do's and went to a couple of cracking one's on Perthshire.

Don't families just drive you mad sometimes. This morning:

DH has had a go at me for getting something wrong to do with his staffing. I wasn't prepared to accept reponsibility as I discussed the issue with him and he agreed. Now apparently, he had so much on his mind he didn't take it in and I need to be aware of that in the future.

My mum keeps making sarcastic little comments as DH recently mentioned to her that we'll end up living in his parents house and my Mum thinks we should live in between the two farms. Doesn't make sense; he has livestock, we don't, he's a director on his farm, I'm an employee, my parents don't want to retire, his do - why would we not want to be on his farm - argh!

My mum just had a real dicatatorial moment in the office declaring I had to do something for her even though it meant replicating a piece of work 3 times purely because she doesn't trust computers or me. Argh!

Being pg and hormonal doesn't help - on a normal day I'd brush that all of with a quick grump, oh no, at the moment it's a full on tears fiasco!

We don't have any living family except for my lovely sil who lives quite a bit away but I can understand how families could drive you mad especially when you are pg. Farmers get so stressed out and tend to keep things to themselves imo only to find things get forgotten/ or get Too Much in the weeks that follow.The nearest (us) tend to shoulder the brunt and I found that quite difficult to cope with until a huge airclear.
I have learned how to ignore moods and cope with emergencies.

dh back in and driving me mad. he is looking for his green jacket he is wearing it has toothache and groin thing plus stepped on a screw with bare feet. Am sorely tempted to chap him on the back of the head to put him out of his misery but dished out painkillers instead.

Today is also day one of ds beginning school (h.e.) so we are going over the alphabet, writing this morning. Dd is helping.

Ds1 is back from a wild weekend in Glasgow and, quote "Feels like shit'. self inflicted

IrnBru and a fry up needed there. feels like Nurse Ratchett today