Are we Boyfriend and Girlfriend?

[becca44]

Been seeing a nice guy for couple of months and we agreed after the third date we were not interested in seeing anyone else.

We have a lot of chemistry and we both want to have sex but i said that i only want to have sex if it is a relationship as i don't do friends with benefits or casual sex. He said that he was fine with that however i don't know what i am with him. Am i his girlfriend or not? We act like gf and bf and spend time together but i asked him the other day would he like to be gf and bf and he wouldn't give me an answer.

What should i do wait for him or just ask him where he sees it going?

I cannot see the point in dragging out the dating process when you clearly like someone and want to have sex with them and would rather just give a relationship a go rather than take things extremely slow. I am not sure when people say take things slow whether they mean they don't really want to committ or want a relationship.

Am really confused as to where i stand.

Any advice and should i wait around for this guy to tell me if he wants a serious relationship or move on?

Rebecca

Becca - As Ive already said I'm afraid your answer is a negative one unfortunately but just wondering, do you usually at least speak everyday like you would if you were in a relationship? Or is it usual for you two to go several days with no contact?

Becca, you have had a lucky escape, he has not been very respectful of you- rude man! Usually in my experience if you have to ask the question the answer is likely to be negative. A nice bloke wouldn't be playing games!

@ OhEmGee24 We normally text everyday but normally at weekends its all quiet. I really don't get him as we was saying next year we should go on holiday to Tenerife! I haven't even thought as far ahead as August let alone next year lol I think he is one of these blokes that blows hot and cold.

What do you think he may be doing at weekends? Does he tell you what he does when you're not in touch?

I have no idea to be honest. He said he was at his Mum's today doing some d.i.y work which is fair enough but i had planned to see him today. Other than that no he doesn't tell me much what he gets up to. We are not joined at the hip lol but i like to know when we are meeting.

One of my exes used to do that... Say we'd spend time together at the weekend then not answer his phone until it was too late...

He was a complete twat but for some reason took mg aged to admit it to myself.

I see a pattern here similar to yours EclecticShock! He texts me late at night when its too late to meet up, whats the point in that hey? Is it me or are relationships more hard work these days or have they always been this way?

Some people aren't relationship material and some couples just don't work. He doesn't sound like he respects you. I wish I'd left my ex sooner, but the time I did he had destroyed my self esteem and I was pretty confident to begin with. He was a charmer though and used to always play the victim card, I fell for it. Don't waste your time if you think he's not serious or if he's making you feel shit.

He does make me feel like shit and getting answers out of him is like getting blood out of a stone lol I think i find it hard that people can be like this as i am just an honest and genuine person who doesn't like to muck people around.

Where did you meet your ex Eclecticshock? Mine was off net perhaps thats why it has been problematic?

At uni, there were loads of red flags but I found him intriguing, sexy and vivacious... Oh how wrong I was :).

Can i ask how old are you Eclecticshock? Was 30 end of March.

Was 33 at end of march :)

An Aries too :-)

Has he responded to your email?

Nope he hasn't. Sent it over an hour ago. I know he checks his emails every day too as he sells a lot of stuff on Ebay!

No contact at weekends, and contact late at night are red flags for me.

Could he be married?

He has been separated from his ex for 14 years. Just not divorced.

It's not good is it... Wouldn't be better to make a break now and find someone who deserves you?

Yes think your right. No relationship should ever be this hard.

Just read some more. He's a waste of time in my opinion. He's too old and he's still married and he's playing games. Keep looking.

Hope it goes well OP, look after yourself. Feel free to Pm if you fancy a chat.

Thanks for all your helpful advice. I know its only me that can help myself but nice to know of some good advice. @NKF age shouldn't matter but i guess you are right, im 30 hes 47 so old enough to be my Father. Im not looking for a Father figure got a perfectly good one lol. Maybe ill meet some nice man at the gym or an evening class :-)

Don't be totally put of by the net though, OP. I met my bf on pof 7 months ago and he's scrummy . Really though, there's lots of good eggs online, but just as in "real life" you have to shop around a bit first - try before you buy I say!

Do you reccommend using a web cam prior to meeting if you use internet dating?

I don't own one so can't comment. But I saw hundreds of pics on him on fb to reassure me prior to meeting. With us, we had a cpl of pof messages on the Friday, added each other on Facebook on Saturday, chatted on the phone (for 3.5 hours!) on Sunday, drinks on Tuesday and it's been crazily loved up ever since.