think dh is having an affair .. don't know what to do

[amigoingmadhere]

saw texts on his phone - 'Babes can I come over tonight' etc.

Not exactly in shock as things are terrible between us but don't really know what to do about it as have 3 young dcs who will be devastated if we get divorced.

I know it was coming to that anyway due to dh generally being emotionally abusive and sometimes physically aggressive but I think no there is really no coming back from this.

I had dc3 only 3 weeks ago and I see from dh's phone that he was meeting up with OW while I was in hospital recovering from the birth (probably during labour as well knowing him, as he kept disappearing).. :(

Don't really know what to do about this.

Thanks everyone for your messages btw - it really helps to know you are there :)

I think you need to go back to the solicitor and ask them why they recommend going forward straight away and what would happen if you left it. My instinct is that it would be best for my kids in your situation if once you had made a decision you were sure of you, acted on it as swiftly and decisively as possible because that would give them confidence in the change. your kids are yours though so you know best what would be best for them and I think you need to start by finding out your various options and then thinking about what would be best for you all.