I need to rant

[Pickles77]

I need to rant, and then I'll just dissolve into tears.
Ive been trying to absorb myself in
Mumsnet and baby things to get xp off my mind but tonight im sat here thinking about him and wanting him back and then ping a email comes through with his baby name requests.
He says I'm not to use a Scottish name because I'm not Scottish.
My grandparents were though. Why does he think he should get to help with naming he's not supported me through my pregnancy, not asked how bump is, asked if she needs anything. Just screamed he's not interested and doesn't care.
My last words to him were I can't do this by mutual agreement I'd like to go through csa. He said he doesn't care and isn't interested and why do I have to go the stupid way. I
Just want to protect my daughter.
How can I still want him back.
Why does he do this? Does he know he's doIng it?
Great. Now the tears are really flowIng. I don't want to do this anymore. I either want my baby on my own or I want out. I'm considering adoption its not fair her being brought up
This way. She hasn't asked for it.

Oh Pickles you are having a tough time. I don't think your xp has any right to comment on name choices when he's said he's not interested in the baby.
Do you really want him back as he is, or do you want things to be the way they were before you were pregnant? He sounds like an uncaring arse & I can't for the life of me see what you want that back for, it's more likely you're mourning for what used to be, but things can never go back to how they were.

Only you can decide if you are going to keep this baby or put her up for adoption, I'm sure you'll be a great single mum, but if you don't want to, then I'm sure you'll find lots of support on here whatever you decide.

I've had a really strong week and then he takes it away again.
I don't know what I want. It just looks
Like I'm always on here moaning but I don't know what else to do. I'm trying everything but nothing stops the loneliness, I just don't want to be alone

So sorry Pickles, must be so hard for you. You're being very strong. Don't think about adoption, your child will be very happy to have such a lovely and loving mummy! There are plenty of happy single parent families out there. Thinking of you x

He does it because he wants control.

I don't know what happened, how long you were together, or why you broke up, but he sounds pretty unpleasant.

If you're not married, then he has no right to choose her name, you can choose whatever you like :)

I was young when I had DS. His dad wanted me (we were engaged & living together), and decided, part way through the pregnancy, that he wanted me to have an abortion. He already physically abused me, but when he did it when pregnant, I found strength, and kicked him out. He was involved in a way, but wasn't supportive.

After DS was born, he told me what names he hated. We did agree on DS's first name, but the middle one, was one I'd been 'banned' from using. As DS's dad refused to be on the birth certificate, I chose it anyway. He was trying to control me.

Have you got any RL support?

Don't make any rash decisions. It is an emotional, and scary, time. But you do have enough strength to get through this - alone if need be.

Try not to let him get to you. I do understand you wanting him, but he's just trying to provoke a reaction from you. Just try to detach from him x

Just tell him 'No interest...no say'

Oh Pickles You're not alone. You have your little girl, she is with you now. Be strong for her. How long have you got left to go?

Believe me, you will be so busy, and full of love & awe, for your little one, that the loneliness will lessen x

10 weeks. It's too long. The wonderful people that can't have children should have my baby.
I can't believe he's brought me down again. I tried so hard was doing so well.
I just need to go back to being a no one. He's right I'm a fuck up, that people just see me as an attention seeker.
I'm so sad but so angry. Hormonal too.

Thank you guys I feel a bit better today

Glad you're feeling a bit better. Next time you feel down try & remember that you did feel better.

Hi Pickles, I've been following your journey, haven't said much as other posters have put everything I could say much better than I could
But just wanted to add another little voice saying 'you can do it' in your ear when things get hard.
Your DD will be lucky to have such a loving mum, and that's really all she'll need.
Stay strong Pickles!

Thank you I appreciate that x

I didn't get u pregnant. U got u pregnant

That's the message I just got.

Wow.
How on earth does he function in everyday life when he has that level of nastiness and immaturity festering inside of him?
Ignoreignoreignore. You're better off well rid.
Oh, and name your baby whatever the bloody hell you like- after all, you got you pregnant

That's funny, I always thought you needed 2 people to conceive a baby.

My parents are cracking up at that x

Is your real name Mary? Were you visited by the Angel Gabriel? If not, HE got you pregnant. 'U got U pregnant', indeed. What a bastard, OP. and your little girl will not be better withanyone else, she has a wonderful mummy who is her world.

Call your lovely DD anything you like. Call her Scotland if you want!

Ah fuck him. Pick a lovely Scottish name to go with your surname and hope your DD inherits your intelligence.

'U got U pregnant'

Is U an lifesize representation of his penis?

Ah pickles I lurked a bit on your other thread.

For what it's worth, I think you're doing brilliantly and you'll be a brilliant mum.

I know several single mums from before birth (IYSWIM) including my MIL. They are all fantastic strong women who have brought/are bringing up their children brilliantly.

Before having children they didn't feel strong. But they all rose to the occasion and you will too.

There'll be many times when you doubt yourself and your ability to do all this - but everyone goes through those times - it's totally normal.

Just keep posting on MN for support, advice and reading random silly threads to make you laugh (I recommend going to classics if you're feeling down and need a giggle).

Pickles - He's a class A twunt. You're going to be an amazing mum and it's his loss. Quite frankly, given the hell he's put you through, he gets NO say about the baby. AT ALL.

Dictate, don't "ask". Tell him after whatever you decide or the event (of whatever you do).

If you want to call your DD "Princess tweedledum cabbagepatch Angel-juice" it's your perogative. He can fuck off. As others have said, No interest, no say whatsoever.

Hang in there - you're fabulous and strong and will be an amazing mum to your little girl. :)

Thank you tiger, cabbage patch angel juice really does have a ring to it .
I'm surrounded by family today so it's easy to laugh, however I got me pregnant is a great one

God what a prick!

Hey email him Tiger's name suggestion and tell him this is the name you've decided on. That should give him something to think about.

Agree with the poster who said when you're feeling bad, remember that you DID feel better and will do again. I do this and it really does work.

I hate him I really do. He says I'm like Jeremy Kyle. I can't do anything properly. I don't take responsibility.
He wore a condom, I should have 'got myself sorted out'
I've said he knows my due date. He will be hearing from csa. And he will have to arrange access formally.
He said I'm a car crash. What's so important about the birth anyway

This is a guy you would never ever think could be like this. Well brought up. Well educated. Good family
I'm being treated like I'm scum

I'd believe it. Some people are vile. The hard part is accepting that this is the same man who you had/have feelings for. What matters now is you, your baby and your family/friends.