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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Please please help me. H has gone.

65 replies

Memoo · 20/07/2012 18:07

H has gone. My decision, but rather sudden so I am in shock.

I have no money, no job and no idea what to do.

I need to claim benefits I think but what exactly do I do?

Please help me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Memoo · 20/07/2012 19:44

It is definately over for good. I'll explain at some point but just can't deal with it at this moment.

I have nobody at all in rl. My sister lives abroad and my brother on the other side of the country. I'm estranged from my parents.

Feel dizzy my head is spinning that much.

I think h is going to let me have the car for a week so I can take the holiday.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 20/07/2012 19:47

Ah no problem, sorry nor being nosey just worried about you

Original poster
Memoo · 20/07/2012 19:59

I know stealth x

Have put dd2 to bed so going to sit and tell the older ones now :(

OP posts:
JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 20/07/2012 20:07

Thinking of you Memoo - good advice on things to say back upthread I thought x
Very glad about the holiday happening

Original poster
Memoo · 20/07/2012 21:55

I'm going to sleep in with the girls tonight.

Can stand the thought of getting in that bed on my own.

How do I get through this? Please tell me.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 20/07/2012 22:20

I have no idea, but am still here. Off to bed myself in a mo but will check on you in the morning. Sleep with your girls (almost 3 year olds are very cuddly I find :o) and try to get some sleep. Promise you'll have a decent breakfast in the morning.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 20/07/2012 22:21

Wishing you a good night Memoo -

I often sleep with my DC's - as long as everyone's happy or happier that way Smile

Get through it one day at a time. Today is over, it is time for sleep ....

What's done is done, what's not done is not done.

Tomorrow will be better x

hoops997 · 20/07/2012 22:31

You CAN get through this, I haven't seen any of your other threads but we're all behind you, apply online for all your benefits, you will cope, it might be bloody hard for a while but it WILL get better......

Holding out my hand for you

Original poster
Memoo · 20/07/2012 22:43

But I'm so scared. I have nobody at all. I have lots of fair weather friends but nobody who would really be there for me.

OP posts:
hoops997 · 20/07/2012 22:46

Whereabouts are you?

mummytime · 20/07/2012 22:48

People can surprise you for good as well as bad. So people you barely know may turn out to be real support if you let them.

My mum took me on holiday, 100s of miles at times, sometimes to quite remote spots, by herself and with no car. It can be done.

throwinshapes · 20/07/2012 22:52

As hopps said, where sweetpea?
Pm me if in Hants Smile

Original poster
Memoo · 20/07/2012 22:54

I hope they do. I just need to let everyone know. I have considered just writing it on fb because can't stand to talk to anyone right now. I feel like I want to hide away.

Hoops, I'm in Warrington.

OP posts:
TodaysAGoodDay · 20/07/2012 22:57

That's really tough memoo, I'm so sorry for you. Not any advice to give, but wanted to give you an un-MN ((hug)). I'm up in Cumbria if that helps, and you need someone to talk to.

hoops997 · 20/07/2012 22:59

I'm a bit far from you, I'm in Bournemouth, write it on FB if that's what you want to do, hopefully your friends will step up to the plate.

I'm a single parent and it's tough but very doable, you have to believe in yourself, and you can do it, please keep posting and don't hide yourself away

Original poster
Memoo · 20/07/2012 23:08

The worst thing is that I really love him still. He was my best friend. Icant get my head around me not seeing that he was actually a total shit. He has betrayed me at every turn. I hate him but I love him.

OP posts:
hoops997 · 20/07/2012 23:16

Just keep reminding yourself that he is a total shit and that you are better off without him.

Life is too bloody short to be unhappy, cuddle your girls, tell them that you love them and look to the future 'team memoo' Smile

Original poster
Memoo · 20/07/2012 23:19

Thank you hoops :) that made me smile.

Going to try and get some sleep. No doubt dd2 will wake at 6am.

Night x

OP posts:
hoops997 · 20/07/2012 23:21

Sleep tight, day one over Smile

SoggySummer · 20/07/2012 23:31

I am so sorry. I recognise your name but no idea of whats been happening to lead to this for you.

You will get through this you know. Its shit right now but it will get better. If he is the total shit you say he is - hanging in there right now will mean you are alot happier in the long run.

Hope you get some sleep. xx

sadwidow28 · 21/07/2012 05:21

Good morning Memoo. I hope you managed to get some sleep with your girls. Today is a new day. I send you strength so that you get through it as well as you can.

I can't help in RL at the moment (taking my LN on holiday this morning) but I am not very far from you at all (about 20 minutes on M56) if you need a visit next week.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 21/07/2012 07:09

Morning Memoo, hope you all had a good night ?

Any plans for today with your girls ? Smile

StealthPolarBear · 21/07/2012 07:14

Morning Memoo
I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry. Is he sorry, or is he denying it all?

gettingeasier · 21/07/2012 07:41

Hi I dont know your back story but just wanted to send you hugs

Its so awful breaking up even when you know its the right thing to do and you can feel physically and emotionally overwhelmed and like you're going under

I never thought I could wake up and be normal again at the time but it does get easier and you and your DC will be OK. Just take it one day at a time and begin gently doing the practical things you need to.

Original poster
Memoo · 21/07/2012 07:46

Morning :) I slept surprisingly well but felt sick the moment I woke up.
Ds slept in with me and dd's too which they all enjoyed. Sleep over with mummy is lot of fun.

Dh admits everything. He says he's sorry but doesn't seem it. He is staying with his parents atm. I'm going to have to speak to him later about finances and seeing dc.

Dd has gym today but apart from that I don't have any plans. I don't think I can cope with going out and seeing people yet. I have a lot on next week though so I'm not going to stay in too much.

OP posts: