DS1 had colic until about 4 months and at the time it really did seem like he was constantly crying to other people but he was in pain. And it wasn't all the time, just when it started, it went on and on and on... I did get upset & stressed sometimes but all was ok.
I think from then my DF has had a problem with him. He's very nearly 3 now & he is a little bit naughty, mostly antagonistic towards DS2 (18 mths) and he can get a bit over excited, loud & boisterous. I can deal with it. He's a very imaginative, funny, interesting and wonderful little boy most of the time.
I feel like he only sees the bad in him, he's called him a 'psycho' and a 'devious bastard' (not in front of him) and often says he laughs at sadistic things. Because DF says it with a smile, it's like he's joking but he's not. It's all untrue and it not only upsets me but makes me really really angry with my DF.
It's got bad recently because after an incident at playgroup my DF thinks I should smack DS to teach him that if he hits, he gets hit back. I disagree with this completely & think it's hypocritical to teach that violence is wrong then hit him!
Once, DS threw a ball at DF and it hit him (not hard) and DF threw it back at him, hard, it hit him and made him cry. Another time, DS was playing with a net and said 'I'm going to get you with it' to DS2 and was waving it about and it caught DF slightly so he took from of him & swung it at him (lightly) hitting him in the chest. He wasn't hurt & he didn't cry but I can't stop thinking about it & it makes me furious. There have been other little incidents to a point where I will NEVER ask DF to look after DS1, not even while I'm upstairs.
I can't tell DH because he'll get horrible about it & I can say things about my father but I hate it when he does.
I don't know what to do or say now, I just feel like avoiding him but he calls at my house most days so it will be weird.
Incidentally, he adores his other grandchildren...