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Original poster

Ordering from waterstones and my lying, cheating ex

43 replies

Pantone363 · 17/07/2012 00:07

Short version, ex DH had an affair with OW from Solihull.

Found out on Xmas day, split and divorced. We have only recently begun talking to each other again. We had a long discussion last week about the affair and ex assured me that I knew everything (including that he hadn't seen this women since the July only phone contact).

Just going through bank statements trying to sort out what day I started being paid my Income Support do I can apply for a budgeting loan. And there on the 16th December is waterstones.com Solihull.

Just spoken to him and he swears blind he hasn't been there. So unless that's always the bank statement entry for waterstones he's obviously still lying.

Any thoughts? I have googled and can't see any reason why it would say that on the bank statement.

Has anyone got any statements they could check through for waterstones purchases?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 17/07/2012 00:10

I don't understand, sorry.

So you found out at Christmas this year? And you've found a bank statement with a payment made to Waterstones in Solihull. It sounds as though he's bought her/himself something from there.

You know about the other woman, though. Why are you surprised now? (I'm not being funny here, just wondering.)

ImperialBlether · 17/07/2012 00:10

Waterstones has a cafe in it, doesn't it? Not sure whether a payment would show up as Starbucks or whatever or Waterstones.

Houseofplain · 17/07/2012 00:13

He's lying. I'd guess. Why not? Serves himself well to keep you sweet through the divorce and saves his exw fighting with him. He's a liar why change now. What does it change for you? Genuine q.

Spero · 17/07/2012 00:16

Sorry, I know it must hurt, but you already know that he is a liar and a cheat. He may have been in Solihull in December, or he may not. But it doesn't change anything about what you already know. I would try to let it go. He is out of your life now, and sounds like the right decision.

Original poster
Pantone363 · 17/07/2012 00:18

It shouldn't mean anything to me. But we were together for 14 years and it means after all the hurt he's caused he's still lying to my face.

I found out at Christmas. The payment was made on the 16th dec at waterstones.com Solihull

OP posts:
ChaosTrulyReigns · 17/07/2012 00:20

Right. I think the .com is clouding the issue. I would imagine that purchases from physical branches would not show ".com", just the branch location.

As it says ".com" - would that be an on=line purchase and Solihull is the admin site isted on the bank statement? Just an infortunate coincidence?

Original poster
Pantone363 · 17/07/2012 00:21

That would have to be some coincidence? Unless he's ordered online and it's been delivered to the Solihull branch?

OP posts:
veryconfusedatthemoment · 17/07/2012 00:23

Could it be the central online location?

Or alternatively, Phone and query/dispute it with them to find out what was purchased. If you have the bank statements you are presumably named (eg joint account).

It does sound to me as if you have done incredibly well to get back on speaking terms so IF there is a reasonable explanation then it is worth finding that out. I found out about my STBEH affair last Easter - we are still not divorced and he speaks to me like shit (and I am quite capable of returning the favour). We have a 6 year old so it is really not ideal that we cannot bear the sight of each other

Spero · 17/07/2012 00:25

The simplest explanation is likely to be the true one. he has been lying to you again and he did see her in December. He is a lying fuckwit. Don't let this drag you down any more.

Original poster
Pantone363 · 17/07/2012 00:25

I went to court and handed in the divorce papers as soon as they opened in January Grin.

I also can't bear the sight of him, which is shit since he has access EVERYDAY.

OP posts:
pippibluestocking · 17/07/2012 00:26

The book depot for Waterstones.com is in Burton upon Trent which is in the West Midlands, Solihull is also in the West Midlands, so it wouldn't surprise me if Solihull is just where the financial part of Waterstones is. If you order online, the area that comes up is where the company is based, not where you were when you bought it. I have bought many things on line, and all sorts of wierd and wonderful places appear on my bank statements!

Original poster
Pantone363 · 17/07/2012 00:29

Oh. Er. I may have an apology to make then.

OP posts:
izzyizin · 17/07/2012 00:32

As far as I'm aware Waterstones head office is in Brentford, Middlesex which would seem to indicate that the debit showing on the bank statement you've unearthed for Dec 16 in favour of Waterstones Solihull relates to a purchase made in person in that particular branch on that particular date.

It may be he'll recall that only the Solihull branch had a copy of a particular book or item that he urgently needed hence his visit to that store... but, needless to say, he didn't meet up with the ow while he was there.

In which case I would suggest you have a yardstick handy to measure his nose before and after you raise this topic with him again.

pippibluestocking · 17/07/2012 00:32

Well he has given you good reason not to trust him so I wouldn't apologise too hard!

MrsRhettButler · 17/07/2012 00:33

Yh don't worry about the apology, its not your fault he can't be trusted.

pippibluestocking · 17/07/2012 00:34

Look at the website, Izzy, the depot for returning books is in Burton upon Trent, I imagine they're sent out from there too

pippibluestocking · 17/07/2012 00:38

Why don't you order something from Waterstones.com and see how it appears on your next bank statement?

Thumbwitch · 17/07/2012 00:39

I suppose you could look at it like this - what earthly reason does he have for continuing to lie about it now? Would it make any difference at all? Practically, for him, I mean?

I wouldn't fret about apologising if you are in the wrong - unless he brings it up again, in which case you could try an airy "oh sorry" - but he's unlikely to do that, isn't he?

izzyizin · 17/07/2012 00:39

Burton on Trent is in Staffordshire.

Solihull is historically part of Warwickshire and is now in the West Midlands.

There is a distance of some 40 miles between Burton on Trent and Solihull.

I rest my case.

Original poster
Pantone363 · 17/07/2012 00:41

Sod it. I'm not apologising. If its a massive coincidence then I think anyone could see why I would be suspicious. I didn't shout or accuse him, just asked if he could explain the bank statement entry.

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 17/07/2012 00:42

their representative office is in Solihull..., whatever that is.

Original poster
Pantone363 · 17/07/2012 00:43

I don't think it makes any difference. Although I suspect he thinks the divorce was just me 'showing my teeth' and that we'll get back together in the future. He made a big song and dance of the fact he hasn't seen or slept with anyone since Christmas during our chat last week.

It's a shame he didn't have those morals whilst married Hmm

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 17/07/2012 00:45

I wouldn't take that at face value either - he can say what he likes on the principle that you can't as easily check on him now!

No, don't apologise - but stop thinking about it now as well. :)

PrincessFiorimonde · 17/07/2012 00:47

If you look at this article about Waterstone's moving its head office, it ends by saying 'Staff in the Solihull office will be unaffected'. Which suggests there's a main office there.

pippibluestocking · 17/07/2012 00:47

Aha Thumbwitch, as I suspected, Waterstones is a big company with a number of offices, maybe even spanning 40 miles across the West Midlands (and spanning an even further distance since HQ is in Brentford as Izzie points out!)

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