Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Odd thought, but horrid one

31 replies

notsuchayummymummy · 16/07/2012 23:05

After you die, do you still spend your time trying to get away from those who have done you profound harm in life? I feel life after death is likely to be about forgiveness and happiness- but what about that that can never be forgiven.
Probably not the right place to post but not sure where is x

OP posts:

snoopdogg · 16/07/2012 23:06

Let go

Live your life

It's all you've got

Lonelylou · 16/07/2012 23:11

Ye; live your life to the full NOW! Then you'll be to exhausted in 'the other place' to be bitter

nailak · 16/07/2012 23:11

i am sure you will be away from those people

SPsFanjoLovesRussellHoward · 17/07/2012 00:55

I understand what you mean and thinking about it I think you just get past caring any more as your free from harm. No one can hurt you any more.

ImperialBlether · 17/07/2012 01:02

I think they're all put in the same place where they can bother each other.

Don't worry about it, OP. You'll be surrounded by your loved ones.

Lueji · 17/07/2012 01:07

Isn't hell other people?

You only need to get toxic people all in one place and presto.

On the other hand, the truly good people are those who can forget even the unforgivable...

Lueji · 17/07/2012 01:11

Sorry, meant forgive, not forget, although forgetting might help too. :)

Sossiges · 17/07/2012 02:12

You come back and have more chances to sort it all out in subsequent lives.

MrsJohnMurphy · 17/07/2012 02:22

I wouldn't have thought so tbh. I'm pretty much agnostic, I haven't a clue what happens after death and neither does anyone else.

A continuation of your current life/situation would be a bit shit though. I can't imagine why that would be the case.

To be me forever, oh jesus christ no, can you imagine.

izzyizin · 17/07/2012 04:12

I imagine we may discover that we're more alive after death than we are now, and that it will be a case of those who may appear to wish us ill in this life being revealed as kindred spirits and like-minded souls who agreed to take on various roles in pacts made before our births so that we can jointly, severally, and collectively, learn the lessons of the earth plane.

It comes down to there either being a lot more to come or nothing to come at all after death; we may be in for a profound experience but if our consciousness is permanently extinguished we won't know about it

izzyizin · 17/07/2012 04:16

I want to be me forever, MrsJM... where's a vampire when you need one?

mathanxiety · 17/07/2012 04:43

Always thought we would be restored to wholeness, and not just in the sense of being reunited with our appendixes or tonsils or getting 20:20 vision back, so maybe injury and insult will not matter as much. Maybe we will be restored in spirit?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/07/2012 05:57

After you die nothing happens. You have no 'time' to get away, forgive or anything else. You're simply dead. It's the people left behind that have the time.

NapaCab · 17/07/2012 06:05

Any afterlife there might be is only hypothetical so not worth worrying about.

Whatever it is, if there is one, it's probably not all of us with our current names and personalities wearing white gowns sitting on clouds etc. Maybe just recycled energy, if anything - so nothing to worry about!

PetiteRaleuse · 17/07/2012 06:38

At the time you're dying your mind kind of plays tricks on you, and you'll probably find yourself forgiving people and kind of emptying your mind sothat you are in a peaceful place so you can let yourself go. I don't know what happens after death, as obviously I didn't get that far, but I do haveclear recollection of my very last moments.

Despite the havoc round me (doctors were doing what they do well) it was a very calm moment. I was absolutely certain that no-one could hurt me any more.

It's really hard to describe, but IF there is an afterlife I think it can be a peaceful one.

Original poster

notsuchayummymummy · 17/07/2012 09:35

Thanks all, it's ok - its not an all consuming thought- just a sudden and horrible one. But hey, not like I have any say in it- and I can only hope that if there is an after life that it is not so cruel.

OP posts:

Ormiriathomimus · 17/07/2012 09:38

So far no-one has done anything that dreadful to me that I can't forgive. I think it helps to have a crap memory But yes, if there is life after death I cant help feeling that most of what went before would be wiped away.

Viviennemary · 17/07/2012 09:40

Can't add up. Seven people. Sorry!

Viviennemary · 17/07/2012 09:41

Very sorry. Wrong thread.

PetiteRaleuse · 17/07/2012 09:42

Well there's no evidence of there being any type of hell. I guess ghosts come back for a reason, but I don't know if they are necessarily unhappy. I would also imagine that your sense of time disappears after you die, if indeed some kind of spirit lives on - so eternity wouldn't seem like such a scary thing.

I hope there isn't an afterlife. I like the idea of living for now, and not bothering about what happens afterwards. But that doesn't explain ghosts (and I happen to believe in them).

PetiteRaleuse · 17/07/2012 09:45

Oh, I should also say - as I mentioned above those mind tricks when you just let everything negative go? I really think it is a psychological answer to your body shutting down.

Because when I woke up a few days later I was still pissed off with the same people I had been before the experience, but valued those I love even more. The experience did make me realise though that once I'm gone, the people who have had a bad effect on me just won't matter anymore. DH and DD, when it came to it, were the only two people I focussed on. Which is nice. Sorry mum

nickschick · 17/07/2012 09:48

Doris Stokes explained it by saying when you die and go to heaven,in your heaven are only the people you love and like -times not an issue nor is money...a woman who was widowed and is fortunate enough to find love again will love both her husbands but in a heavenly way.

EmilieFloge · 17/07/2012 10:02

I worry about it the other way round...that the people I have avoided because I find them so difficult, will die and then they will be able to see what I'm doing, and follow me around, and listen to me talking about them!!

Please tell me this isn't so. It's only my Granny I worry about in this way. We haven't been getting on for a while now

PetiteRaleuse · 17/07/2012 10:07

Emilie I worry about that too sometimes, but then I realise that if those who are already gone, like my dad who I have nothing nice to say about, choose to listen in then it really is their problem. Plus, if you were dead, and able to just go places at will, then I reckon you'd not follow round people who didn't like you.

Tokamak · 17/07/2012 10:09

I always like the idea that the real 'us' is what we are when we're dead.

Perhaps it's like being back in real life after taking part in a play: we have a drink in the bar, read our reviews and analyse our performance. Then we have some time out to read through the scripts on offer and choose our next role.

Flip

1 2