Odd thought, but horrid one

[notsuchayummymummy]

After you die, do you still spend your time trying to get away from those who have done you profound harm in life? I feel life after death is likely to be about forgiveness and happiness- but what about that that can never be forgiven.
Probably not the right place to post but not sure where is x

Thankyou, PR...that's a good way of putting it. I hope that when she passes away, which is unlikely to be more than a few years from now, she is able to forgive - or understand at least - why I have not been going to see her.

I remember when my best friend died and I felt as though she visited me, in the next day or two. Perhaps it was my imagination, but there was just this feeling that she was around and that she wanted me to know she was ok now. Other friends said later that they had felt the same thing.

And sometimes I think she is watching me still messing up my life and telling me off like she used to

Emilie I think it is also possible to make your peace with people when they die. Maybe your grandmother dying will help you put whatever reasons you have for avoiding her behind you.

I still don't have anything nice to say about my dad, but I don't hate him like I did when he was alive - I've just let it go and made my peace, as far as I can. There are more than enough people still alive that I am annoyed with.

I do hope you're right. I have such a conflict, loving her but hating what she does, thinking she can't abide me, but then she will send a letter or something and it confuses me again. We just don't seem to operate in the same way iykwim.

I think once she is gone and the pressure to visit her is removed, I will be able to love her in peace. It might set my parents free a bit too.

There's a very thin line between love and hate, and I think we can only really hate people that we have loved or have really cared about. And yes, sometimes you love and hate at once. When people die though you start to forget the bad things, and focus on the good - I think it's human nature - so you will find it easier to let go of the bad.

Well, that's how it is for me. Other people in my family are still really bitter about my dad, but I guess it is just taking them longer, and they have perhaps other issues to work through and are focussing the negativity on my dad.

I think it's true that death erases a lot of the wrinkles and you can feel compassion where once there was irritation or anger or contempt. Death can heal the living in some ways -- you can let it go.

You go back to the time when you loved her ...age does dreadful things and if you love someone no matter how difficult they are in real life in heaven things are ok.