I've gone into complete panic mode. Verging on hibernation mode. Please help.

[JackieandJudy]

Dh is ill, and has been since just after we met. Over the years we've had so much to deal with, and I think it would be fair to say that I have dealt with most of it reasonably well (I'm generally ok at coping when things are going wrong, it's usually afterwards I have a bit of a wobble).

The situation is slightly different this time in that, instead of finding ourselves in the middle of an emergency, he has a planned operation coming up for next Monday. And I'm so bloody scared. The odds we have been given are not good. I can't stop thinking about Monday and am constantly doing the "what if ...?" thing. The elder dc know it's serious stuff coming up and are scared themselves, hence are looking to us for guidance and reassurance. I've tried but today I'm all out of trying and have locked myself in the bedroom. Smallest dc knows Dad has to go to hospital but is oblivious of the wider implications.

I'm shaking constantly. I keep crying at random moments (yes, that was me in Sainsbury's who cried when I dropped the apples!), I can't do this for another week. But I have to. I don't want to talk to rl friends as I will cry and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me anyway.

But I'm happy to listen if any of you lovely ladies have any ways to help me get through this week, and possibly after.

SW - If you are incurring costs collecting all these pieces of fabric I am happy to contribute. Just let me know.

First of all JandJ, oh my goodness you've had a lot to deal with the last few days. Thank goodness for Dr Hero. And as Izzy said I am already so amazed by your husband and his actions and strength of character lifts my admiration to a whole new level. The way you're both dealing with everything is truly amazing. I don't know how you do it but keep fighting the fight with the red tape pen pushers and I'm so so pleased that you have Dr Hero in your corner. I hope you and your DC are ok and that you lovely DH is being looked after properly and that the dialysis is doing it's job. Hope you're all managing to get rest when you can. Lots of love and hugs to you all. Xxxx

secondly, ooooh how cool about the quilt!!! Can I join to submit a square please? I was going to ask about transfers onto fabric so I'm glad that's ok. I'd happily have a go at the appliqué but I'm not so artistic so being able to print a photo and use that is an excellent option for me.

I have a question about the edging with a zigzag. I don't have a sewing machine so would pinking shears do. If I were to sew the zigzag by hand, does anyone have any advice on how to do this.

Re the material, is there a particular weight(?) of fabric to use? Would the sort of thickness of a cotton pillowcase be ok, or does it need to be heavier/thicker than that? Sorry if that's a really daft question.

I could try and do a transfer of a seal, either from my picture or maybe a more colourful one from a cartoon. Would that be ok?

Sorry for all the questions. SW you quilting lady sounds very generous as do you so please let me know if you'd like a contribution towards the cost of anything. :)

Thanks so much SW. My son has all the photos on his computer, and hes away on business til late tomorrow. I will contact him as soon as he`s back. .x.

Let me see if I can answer all the questions:

Backing fabric (pillow case) - just make sure it is cotton so that you get a strong weft/weave. Cut it to 10 inches and applique within the 9 inches. (UK quilters.... Poundland have 2 pillowcases for £1 at the moment. I bought a packet of cream and a packet of pink.)

Now I have the professional quilter on board, I am less anxious about the finished edges. Maggie and I are going to do the finishing between us. But what a good idea to use pinking shears to cut the 10 inch squares. I'll run the quilted squares through my over-stitcher before I send to Maggie to complete the quilt. That should allow you all to concentrate on your patch of love. Forget the edging.... I'll sort it!

Lazarub: Thank you for offering to support any additional costs for the completion of the Quilt of Love. So far I have made a few phone calls and got free fabric donated which I can collect when I go to get LN for the weekend tomorrow! (See? Not even any more petrol!) If I need to pay Maggie for wadding then I will let you all know.

We definitely need our seals with sleepy eyes on the quilt. A picture or a cartoon is equally acceptable. Your patch square must be something that reflects your message to JandJ.

If anyone needs a fabric-printing contact, I think I could find one within my other group. I can't promise to pull that one off as a free-bee though.

Please remember to embroider your ID on your Patch of Love.

I will use SW as my name - the abbreviation that Izzy gave me - because I don't want the word 'sad' anywhere on our Quilt of Love.

I still have someone on stand-by to make 2-3 patches on your behalf (random embroidery) if there are any peeps who can't make their own Patches of Love but want to have their love woven into the quilt. The £5 charget will be donated to a charity.

Izzy: how do we vote for our centre piece panels?

I want to vote for Hope on a Rope and Pa.

I am more than happy for my patches to go to the outside.

Have PM'd you sadwidow

Hoping you all get some peaceful, healing sleep through the night.

Thanks to a bottle of honey raki that pa unearthed from the depths of the root cellar, a libation has been offered to Asclepius who is an ancient Greek god of medicine and healing.

In gratitude for a generous glug sip of mortal nectar, my expectation is that Assy (I'm on familiar terms with all of my pets gods ) and his daughters Hygieia (Hygiene), Iaso, Aeso, Aglaea, and Panacea (for all ills) are will be in like Flynn attendance at a certain London hospital and may their gods help them who have failed JandJ's dh 'cos our gods are intent on kicking arse on the case.

Tomorrow, now unaccountably later today how did that happen? my equine pal and I are heading out to a place in which I feel the closest to nature, nirvana, heaven, all that is, outside of the meditative state.

Along with carrots and apples, a pipe will be in my saddlebag as will the sacred 'erbs and a large small flask of Hope on a rope. When we reach our destination it's my intention to ceremonially invoke Kumugwe, a deity of the northwest pacific Native American peoples who possesses, among many other desirable traits, the power to heal.

I made plans to set out on this quest before catching up here and I regard the fact that Kumugwe carries the title of master of seals as a favourable omen even though the weather forecast isn't in accord. What the heck, it's only water and humans dry a lot quicker than most species on this planet.

I have a number of thoughts/ideas on the quilt front which I'll relate later today but none of them will interfere or otherwise hinder the sterling efforts you've gone to in order to get this project off the ground, sw.

What an amazing woman you are and, FTR, other than in terms of my personal sorrow for those who don't achieve the promised 3 score years and 10 and for those they leave behind, I've never thought of you as being 'sad' other than in terms of you having less time than most with your dh.

In the meantime Pa, who has derived considerable enjoyment from putting his alchemist talents ability to blend alcohol with other liquids to the test has expressed himself as being more than happy - in fact he's gone darn ornery insistent -- on underwriting the cost of the project.

The sky's the limit, folks. This could be one mahoosive bedwarmer or a single comforter. Whatever, I move we make this quilt in true Shaker style.

Izzy - I tell the parents parked on the yellow zigzags by the school gates that a little rain never hurt anybody. They don't appear to listen though..
That is very generous of your Pa, he sounds fab! (Much better than mine).

SW - you are doing a sterling job and you don't come across as sad. You and your dh made the very best of a terrible situation, I could only hope to be half as strong and admirable in your shoes. I think your wonderful memories are what sustain you, I imagine the same is true for ForeverAutumn. I admire you both.

JandJ I hope things are a bit more settled now. I hope bums have been kicked and your dh is where he should be, receiving the very best of care and attention.
Happy Birthday to your ds too ..a bit early maybe?! and emocion!

I've been feeling a little silent here over the past day. I am so awed to be in the company of such people and a little afraid at my 'not gifted'ness with regard to my square for the quilt of love. Not being one to let a little fear get in my way though I'll be planning my theme when I get a moment to find my fabric box over the weekend.

I've been very spoiled for a year with a wonderful SAHD for a DH. All I've had to do is go to work, love DH and the DSs, and do the washing (so everything stays the colours it started out - DH doesn't get sorting loads of washing into like colours ) Then, on Tuesday DH damaged his foot doing kick boxing (a hobby all his SAHM friends have got him into). Now I'm looking round at the devastation 3 boys (one big, two smaller) can make of a house in such a short time and wondering whether I can win it back from the powers of chaos over the weekend. Izzy, do you have a deity to help? Anyway, the upshot is not much time for sewing, but I'm looking forward to giving it a go!

J&J, one day at a time, one stitch at a time, covering you in the warmth of a quilt of love.

And ladies, thank you. You are more wonderful than you know. Thanks particularly SW for organising us in our efforts. MN is truly an unfathomable place.

Who's sorting out the quilt? ie who should I PM/send my square to?

Please, that is

HOpe everything is going well JandJ. thinking of you all, as we all are on here xx

Well, I have found it hard to post after reading back - those silly leaky eyes! I still get them now and again.

It is Izzy's 'fault' that we are making our Quilt of Love because she likened us to a quilting bee. It was a graphic identity given to those on this thread who continue to pop in each day to support JandJ and send prayers and positive thoughts for her DH and DC. So Izzy - have you got it? It is your fault!

But when Homebirds posted:

Actually, that's just got me thinking. Could we make a real quilt between us? Probably impractical but a nice thought.

I thought, "What a great idea..... and I think I might have the skills (and can find additional skill support) to pull this one off for the JandJ team" JandJ had already said she wanted to meet is in RL, so how better to introduce ourselves in the meantime?

But, I am like a bull in a china shop! I don't move the chairs gently and quietly to set up the quilting circle of love, I flurry in a frenzy and then say "have this chair"; "sit there". I come across in a very poor way and I realise that. Apparently I am like that in real life - I never sit down and relax, I am flurrying all over the place making things 'happen' for others. In June, my mother didn't make it to a family wedding (failed pacemaker) and I called into the hospital on my way back to the NW. She whinged and moaned about not having a nightie (my sister had taken her petticoats into the hospital by accident) and how she can only wear wide straps. So she is nearly buried under wide-strapped under-garments now!

I will take a long, hard look at myself!

Izzy, I think Pa has done so much for us in suporting JandJ (and us!) that his generous offer is not necessary. He will be woven into the Quilt of Love as one of the greatest inspirations on this thread. But it is not my place to accept or reject the overly-generous offer. I am simply a facilitator in this miraculous and marvellous event.

Before I offered to coordinate the Quilt of Love, I did consider how many additional costs I might incurr. I remembered that late-DH had a little account in a building society that I have never touched nor needed to use. I intended to use late-DH's account (which is now in my name of course) to pay for any extras.

Now, I am expecting LN to be delivered back from his play-date with a dear neighbour at 9pm and then I have a weekend of child-minding, so if I don't post again, I wil be able to catch up with you all when I am released from child-minding duties at 1pm on Sunday.

I am still praying for JandJ, her DH and family.

Springdaffs, for now I am the coordinator for the Quilt of Love.

If anything changes, I will make sure that all squares get to the right 'finishing place'.

I have answered all PMs now.

duh I am rubbish at find the PM box in here!

Skyebluesapphire... you are in the other place now!

thanks, have just logged in and left a comment :-)

And the professional quilter has answered you

We are all connecting I think.

Homebird and Autumn - you are both in the other space.

I'm coming!

Thinking of you, and wishing you all a more stable and hopeful week.

Hi. Have now registered with the other place too. I am an odd sort SW. Sometimes I want things done immediately and get frustrated at the laid back attitude of others, other times I am more than happy to sit around and do nothing - especially if I am reading!

J and J I hope all is well and there has been an improvement in the care of your dh as well as in his general health at the moment. Thinking of you all and I hope your ds had a good birthday. Hope you are looking forward to the quilt!

So J&J, I'm hoping that the hospital has been able to engender some trust in your DH and that at the very least he's getting regular dialysis. You are all doing amazingly and although the renal chappie is trying to keep your feet on the ground I hope that that you are still feeling the effects of that big grin you met him with. If nothing else it shows that you have hope and that is worth more than any amount of h.ding back. I'm sending you hope by the bucket load. It's the absolute opposite of fear, and who wants to live with that. Perhaps I should name change to Hopebird! You can read it that way if you want. You're doing great and I am in awe of you.

holding back Sorry!

sorry to be absent in posting. Life gets in the way. Still with you all in spirit.

I love crafting/quilting and general creativity but my square will have to be virtual due to too much RL. Sorry

never too busy to pray for you both JandJ though.