Evening all - how amazing you all are, and special thank you to sadwidow for going to such great lengths to advise us on how to proceed next. Dh says you've all to stop making him cry or you'll think he's soppy 
So - the Clinical Director rang Dh on Monday night and dh told him all that had happened. The Director asked us to leave it with him for a couple of days.
Yesterday Dh received a call from a haematologist telling him to double his dose of heparin. Dh was very reluctant to do this without speaking to a kidney doc, as last year he was in hospital for nearly three weeks with non-stop bleeding. So all day yesterday we tried to contact someone in the renal department - Dh's consultant is on holiday (which we knew - this is what the phonecall we missed last Friday was about), his deputy is on holiday, dh's named nurse is on holiday, we couldn't get hold of the doctor who had been so sympathetic on Monday etc.
Finally, at about 6ish, all out of ideas on what to do, I managed to get hold of dh's ex named nurse - sheer desperation on my part as she had moved on from that particular job about three years ago - but I just had no idea what else to do. Dh was in such a state by this time - angry, frustrated, not knowing who to listen to, all faith he may once have had in the cardiac team completely gone etc. She, fortunately, was able to contact one of the renal doctors who dh has known of old, who said to hold off doubling the dose until he'd tracked down the consultant who'd told dh to take it. At about 9 last night, he rang back to say he'd spoken to another haematologist, explained dh's circumstances, and they had both agreed that, under no circumstances, should he double the dose.
Today, the Clinical Director rang dh to say he'd spoken to the cardiac team who he described as "fucking incompetent", and who he went on to talk about in less than glowing terms. The upshot is that when dh goes in for the op on 3rd Sept he will be admitted to a renal ward, not a cardiac ward, and after spending however long he needs to in ITU, he'll be returned to a renal ward, not cardiac. In the absence of dh's consultant, the director has named a specific nephrologist (as it happens - the one who was so sympathetic to us on Monday) to deal with dh's admission and to co-ordinate all necessary treatment.
Later today, the above doc rang us to say he'd spoken to the head of haemotolgy to discuss dh's treatment. They have decided that dh needs to be admitted five days before the op as he needs specific doses of iv immuno suppressant stuff as they will have to give him platelets during his operation. Which begs the question - should this treatment not have been given to him five days prior to each of the three previous cancelled operations? And what would have happened if the operation had gone ahead without this treatment? As Dr Dismissive kept telling us on Monday, this is a "complicated and risky" enough operation as it is, but now with all this talk of tests dh should have been having, I have totally lost all faith.
Ironically, dh himself is much calmer as he feels relieved to have the clinical director on board. I, however, keep remembering how panicky I felt way back when I first posted, before this catalogue of disasters had even happened - and I've now convinced myself that this whole venture is doomed. There seems to have been so much imcompetence, lack of communication, lack of care, inability on one part of the medical team to look at the bigger/overall picture etc that I cant help this pervading sense of almost hatred which is creeping over me.
I hate feeling like this because for many many years the NHS has been a godsend for us, and for many millions of others I know. And we've met so many incredible people who have sincerely cared, but now I just feel suspicious and distrustful (is that the right word?!). And you know, fortunately for us, dh is the sort of person who doesn't unquestioningly do as he's told (little clue there as to why his teachers apparently hated him at school!), he's been ill enough for long enough to want exlanations and reasons. But how many millions of people out there just accept without question what the doctors tell them to do? If Dh had taken that double dose last night, I fear the game would have been over there and then (and you would all have been spared this massive essay for which I apologise!)
The silver lining in all this, for me, has been turning to mn and discovering anew that there are people out there, many of whom have had their own tragedies, who care enough to really interact and give of themselves to a total stranger (who may possibly have had a bit more gin tonight than is good for her!)