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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mobile phone oddities - would it make you think 'hmmmm'...?

32 replies

blinkybell · 12/07/2012 13:15

DH recently seems to be attached to his mobile phone.

We have a bowl for stuff on the sideboard in the hallway, usually he would dump keys, phone, wallet, loose change, etc in there, but lately I've noticed the phone stays in his pocket.

He works nightshifts occasionally, and he usually goes to bed when the kids do for a couple of hours before getting up for work, then sleeps for 5 or 6 hours the following day while they're at school. The phone has always been left in the bowl in the hall, but the last few times the phone has been taken upstairs to bed with him.

He worked last night, and took the phone up to bed with him to "charge". I asked him why he was charging it upstairs (we usually charge them in the kitchen) he said it was because he "didn't want the cat to pee on it", now we do have an elderly cat who has occasionally missed the litter tray but she's never shown a preference for peeing on mobile phones before Hmm

This morning he came in, went up to bed, noticed the keys/wallet/etc minus the phone in the bowl and assumed it was strapped in his pocket again

Grabbed a load of washing, including his work stuff, checked pockets as he's notoriously bad at emptying them half expecting to find the phone. It wasn't in there, nor was it laying around our room anywhere so he must have tucked it away - but why?

I'm trying to rack my brains as to whether he could be up to anything, and I just don't think he's got the opportunity

We have had history of texting before, so I don't know if that's clouding my judgement, or I'm just seeing the signs earlier than I did last time iyswim

OP posts:
stargazy · 12/07/2012 19:27

Would endorse Sternface's post re lying by omission.This was something my DH did at odd times over our long and generally very happy marriage.About silly ,small things he thought I wouldn't approve of or understand.Like a naughty little boy.It would slightly exasperate me,even amuse me at times.

Then two years ago I discovered a friendship he had developed with an OW and kept secret once it moved on to meeting up when not necessary for work, and lots of texting that was becoming sexual.Counselling and us coming close to divorce made him look hard at his behaviour, and how this type of lying can lead to serious consequences.

If Your DH has a track record of this, and given the change in his phone habits I was would trust your inner voice of disquiet ,and hopefully if you do uncover anything it's not gone too far - and he will finally grow up and treat with the honesty and respect you deserve having forgiven him once before.

blinkybell · 12/07/2012 19:27

I suppose I'm worried it's clouding my judgement as he's never done anything in the last 10 years to make me doubt him.

I don't really know, I suppose I don't want to jump to conclusions just because it's happened before.

Stupid, I know.

OP posts:
blinkybell · 12/07/2012 19:30

Sorry, didn't see page 2 Blush

houseofplain sorry, I didn't see the thread from earlier, I hope bitchtastic is OK if she's lurking!

stargazy it's just so stupid, it's mostly silly, completely irrelevant stuff, it's just so exasperating

OP posts:
Looksgoodingravy · 12/07/2012 19:54

The phone is the key and the only way of finding out is to either let him know how you're really feeling or just check his phone while he sleeps, sorry but once you feel this way, in my experience, the nagging doubts just don't go away. Hope you can sort this out.

Looksgoodingravy · 12/07/2012 19:55

Maybe you feel you'll open a whole can of worms if you confront him with this and that's the problem, if he is hiding something and he still might not be, it may lead him to become more secretive.

Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 12/07/2012 20:28

Personally, I would be blunt, and ask if you can look at his phone.

skyebluesapphire · 12/07/2012 21:38

Sorry to say it, but my H was texting OW from 8am to 11pm every day. I didn't see it at the time but with hindsight he was taking his phone everywhere, bed, toilet etc. stopped leaving it in the middle of the car where I could see it, wouldn't let me have it to programme in some numbers, got a secret email address in his iPhone, charged it by the bed when we were on holiday.... Put it on silent and face down.

He was texting her over 100 times a day as his bills showed...

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