Anyone in Nottingham a private detective?!!

[Midwife99]

Stbxh had an affair with his cousin but I need evidence that it's still continuing. She lives in Nottingham & strangely he has chosen that city to do a study week at the University next week. Anyone know anyone?

I'm from nottingham, but i'm no private detective. Is this your ex's blood cousin? What do you need the evidence for?

I'm just assuming that you've already split and that you were in the process of getting a divorce when you described him as stbxh

Anyone with a camera would do! Can't believe you actually did it MW

Sorry, I don't follow

If its evidence that you require for an adultery petition you'd need more than just a photo of them together or his car outside her house.

I found out 2 years ago my DH had been having an affair with his 1st (yes blood) cousin since before we met. We went to relate & he admitted it & agreed to stop contacting her. The texts that proved it were deleted. I have reason to believe that he is still seeing her & he suddenly left the family 6 weeks ago taking his phone & computer with him which may have had evidence on. I've seen a solicitor & if I want to divorce him for adultery, because the original affair was over 6 months ago, I need new evidence. He is going up to Nottingham where she lives on Friday for a week so I know he is going to see her. This is a bit tongue in cheek because of course no one can follow him for a week to get a photo of them touching inappropriately, especially as they are cousins they could say a peck on the cheek is normal! He's going to get away with it isn't he?!!

I'm presuming MW is hoping for a photo of them holding hands and canoodling rather than just meeting for a coffee.

sorry x-post. and was going to say its probably a bit tongue in cheek but didn't want to put off any real PIs who might offer their services!

Plenty come up on google.

Cost is an issue

But Midwife, a photo of them together is not enough evidence that adultery has been committed. You'd need something like hard evidence that they had spent the night in the same hotel room and therefore there would be a rebuttable presumption that adultery had taken place.

The bit about it being his first cousin whilst a bit creepy (in my view and clearly that of others) is not really relevant as it is not against the law despite what many think. Google consanguinity (was one of my favourite words when studying law) and the prohibited degrees of marriage. It is, in the eyes of the law, acceptable to have a relationship/marry a cousin.

Yes I know. The part about being cousins is relevant because it's so easy to explain them being together as you say! Likewise text records without detail of the content. Oh well - it'll just have to be unreasonable behaviour instead!

Not necessarily midwife, sometimes when faced with a list of particulars of unreasonable behaviour in a petition a respondent might just admit to the adultery to prevent mud slinging. Incredibly, some think adultery is more acceptable than a load of allegations about their behaviour.

I do feel for you, a horrible thing to be living through x

Not when it's your married first cousin who's husband is unaware as are the joint family members!!

Here's hoping you get what you need..

No luck really - detective agencies do surveillance but they can't get behind closed doors really.

Midwife, your day will come don't worry. They see nothing wrong in what they are doing, so one of these days they will either accidentally or deliberately let their friends and family know all by themselves. Just hope you have front row seats

In my opinion this should be classed as incest...

You.have.the.same.nana.

Shudder....

Yes photos of you naked as babies together on a rug yuk!

Actually it's a secret because they are both married!

Should I tell her husband that my stbx will be in his city this week & to keep an eye on her? Should I tell him of the affair?

no don't do it MW - it will only come back at you - he's one of those Teflon blokes, whatever you chuck at him won't stick and he'll use it against you as evidence that you're 'unhinged'.

Put it this way: imagine it was Skye posting this - what would you advise her to do?! Step away, detach, and all those other really sensible things that are soooo hard to do. x

Ok will retreat. Not bloody fair is it?!!

Its not fair, but none of this is fair sweetheart. As others have said, the best revenge is to be happy without him. If we can all achieve that then we've won!

And they walk off - guilt free - back to a single life without responsibility or blame. When will I get my reward - heaven?!! I know I am bitter.