This will be long and complicated so I apologise for that. This is a subject that's really bugging me and having a negative effect on my marriage. My NSDH is EA, I know that much, he has been PA in the past and I think he might be FA aswell.
We bought our house 3 1/2 years ago, on a 5 year fixed rate mortgage. It was a bit of a tip (liveable, but lots of things need doing to it), and we were both in agreement that we'd do it up in those 5 years, then sell it on.
As far as finances go (I've posted on this before), he earns slightly more than I do, we contribute equally to bills. I also contribute towards his travel as its very expensive (he works some distance away, no alternative route of travel). In the run up to our wedding I ended up with almost £2k on my credit card - I paid for most of the wedding stuff, he was totally disinterested so aside from the main purchases (venue etc), I bought everything. His attitude was 'if you want it, you buy it'. If only I'd had MN at the time. 
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It took me quite a while to pay off that credit card (we've been married 3 years). I then fell pregnant (DD is 18 months) and the majority of baby stuff was bought by me. When I went on maternity leave I was buying at least 90% of baby food, nappies, wipes etc, and only on maternity stat pay while also still paying half the bills. I ended up in the top limit of my overdraft (still paying it off now). I now keep a very detailed spreadsheet of all my outgoings and my overdraft is coming down slowly.
Still with me? While this was all going on, NSDH was squirreling away his money into savings. I discovered recently by looking at his paperwork (we have separate bank accounts at my wish), that he has about £4k of savings. He also gets an annual bonus, some of which goes into the house, some into savings, some on things for himself. I don't get bonuses or overtime so can't earn more money (although I would love to). His attitude is that he works for his bonus so it's his to spend as he wishes.
But house improvements have ground to a halt. We started having the bathroom done last October when his bonus came in and its still not finished. I had to arrange everything with plumber, tiler etc as he just doesn't bother. I got annoyed not long ago as the shower hadn't gone in so arranged it to be fitted (although NSDH paid for most of it). The lights in the bathroom don't work due to poor fittings but he can't be bothered to ring the electrician - unless I ring him it won't be fixed. I keep walking round the house seeing so much that needs to be done and it really gets me down. . We have no storage (our lack of wardrobe space is what caused our argument that resulted in his hitting me 2 months ago, posted here at the time. Still no wardrobe). The kitchen needs ripping out. The garden is a tip. Very manky carpets in some places.
It's not that I don't contribute to the house. I always buy the small things (we needed a bread bin, I bought it. I buy all DD's clothes and toys, and still most of her nappies/wipes etc). I just can't contribute as much I'd like to big things as I don't have the cash. I have suggested to NSDH that we take out a small bank loan to get these improvements done, he refused. If ever I mention getting something in the house done, he just says 'you pay for it then' when he knows I can't do it alone. When we do get improvements done its because he decides it's time - and he decides what we get done. He also refuses to do any kind of DIY, so I do some things, and we have to get professionals in to do the rest. When we argue about anything he always tells me I 'only want him for his money'.
I'm really frustrated. I hate living here (our neighbours are a nightmare on both sides), I hate being in this dump of a house. And now NSDH is talking about things we'll be doing here in 2 years time when I have no intention of being here any longer than our fixed term is left - 18 months. Our relationship is at breaking point anyway and part of my reason for not being able to leave is the massive penalty we'd get if we sold our house before the 5 years is up (terms of the mortgage).
Not sure what I'm asking for. Apologies for the essay. Someone please talk to me, and be frank. I feel trapped, and a total bitch for feeling like I'm 'using' his money to get the house done. Do I need a hug, a boot up the arse or something in between?