Is this not......damn rude??

[KarmaK]

A friend invited me to go to an event with him this Thursday

today he sent me a text message saying the following:

"I'm really sorry to do this and hope you don't mind, but I'd really like to go to the poetry event with an old friend who's recently got back from several months abroad instead of with you. I spoke to him yesterday evening and he hasn't been able to get a ticket. Is that OK? Hopefully we can arrange something else soon."

Do you consider this reasonable?

Not acceptable. He should be concerned about how you feel and about loyalty to you before dropping long held plans in favour of someone else. RUDE!

I had a version of this when I was invited to a dinner as spouse of my VIP H. Then the organiser's secretary rang to say two days ahead they had more guests than they had room for and would I mind not coming? (As I clearly was a VUP!!)
I dug my heels in and insisted that I had booked the babysitter and bought the outfit and wouldn't be passed over!
Served me right. The dinner was deadly dull!! Irrelevant but your story reminded me of the hurt.

russell yes! which is exactly why i think she should take the wind out of his sails by replying that actually it's not ok!

i wouldn't insist on going, i wouldn't want to- knowing that he wanted someone else there.
but i WOULD text back saying "actually no it isn't ok, i'm quite hurt. you can take X, let's not arrange anything else soon"

Text back saying, "But won't your friend mind going with a complete twat?"

I'd bide my time until the next invite and accept with "of course, but only if you are sure you won't find some other far flung prodigal friend you'd sooner go with"

and I'd say that at every single opportunity.

Friend: Coffee?
Me: If you are sure there's no one better for you to buy coffee for

...you get the gist

Brilliant Curry Spice. Do send that poem.

I would reply as it would bug me if I didn't say anything. I couldn't bring my self to be too confrontational though. I might say something like "i just got your text. Its a shame you don't have three tickets as I was really really looking forward to it. Well, I hope your friend enjoys it instead" At least then your rotten friend knows you aren't happy.