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Original poster

I can't stop intensly fantasising about a bloke that i've never even spoken to!!

37 replies

causeforanamechange · 03/07/2012 11:29

Hi everyone!

I've lived in this area since I was a child(28 now) and for some reason, I always knew of this man, but never really knew him to talk to. Different ages and circles I guess.

He first turned my head when I was about 12 or 13Confused I know, that's pretty young, but I guess that's the age when you start having fantasies. He was probably about 20 and I thought he just gorgeous! All my friends were putting posters on their wall of Paul Nichols or Abs from 5iveGrin pretty boys I suppose, but this guy was anything but pretty. I liked the fact he was so rough and ready looking. He seemed intelligent and was a local farmer who drove/drives a landrover and was/is always covered in mud. He has longish hair which is always messy and put back in a ponytail. I hate ponytails!!!! But for some reason he can get away with it.

I saw him again this morning and I realised that everytime I see him around, I get this electric feeling, that if i'm being completely honest, i've never had before. Not even with DPConfused I see him catching my eye and I get the impression he's attracted to me too.

I've never had such an intense and longing fantasy. Everytime I see him, I can't stop thinking about him for days afterwards. All I want to do is drive up to his farm house and...............well, i'm sure you get where i'm going.

As i've said, i'm not single, but i'm starting to become obsessed with this idea. I've never felt like this before. As pathetic as that may sound, it's the truth. Don't get me wrong, I find other people attractive all the time, but that's it. It may even turn into a little innocent fantasy, but that's where it stays.

Obviously, I still haven't done anything about it, but just wondered if anyone could relate?

Am I a bad person for letting myself feel like this?

Sorry for sounding so utterly pathetic, but it's messing with my head!!

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
HotDAMNlifeisgood · 03/07/2012 11:36

Am I a bad person for letting myself feel like this?

Feelings are not bad or wrong. It's how you choose to act on them that counts.

GemsAngels · 03/07/2012 11:42

I have this stupid obsession with a local police officer. Never ever had this with anyone. When I see him my whole body reacts in some crazy ways :)
My friend tells me, its normal, and we are allowed to have fantasies. As they are just fantasies :)

Original poster
causeforanamechange · 03/07/2012 12:28

God, I just read that back and sound so stuuuuupid!! Sorry, I was actually writing in a hurry and so it's sounds really immature and as I feared............patheticBlush

I suppose that really my main concern is because i'm used to having fantasies and i'm used to controling them and accepting them for what they are. Everytime I see this man my legs go weak, my heart starts thumping, I get flushed and I go all tingly. That's from one look!! I guess the fact that he's had this effect on me for 15 years, makes it feel more intense. How can I feel like this about someone who i've never even spoken to? I can only relate it to when you have a dream and you have this utter euphoric feeling about something or someone and it's a feeling which you don't' experience in real life. When you wake up you feel almost sad and guilty that you don't feel like that in the real world, but that is the kind of feeling I get when I see him. It's like i'm drugged.

OP posts:
Original poster
causeforanamechange · 03/07/2012 12:29

gem, are you single? Do you ever feel like you could potentially act on your fantasy? Do you ever wonder "why this guy?".

OP posts:
Original poster
causeforanamechange · 03/07/2012 12:31

Sorry for bombarding you with questions gemGrin

OP posts:
Kaluki · 03/07/2012 12:45

I have that exact thing - for my GP!!!!
I'm ill a LOT!!!

discobeads · 03/07/2012 12:51

I had this with a guy - I was single and young (ish) at the time. He was older and in a complicated relationship. He too was rough and ready. We got close (at my insistence!) and became good friends. I NEVER told him how I felt, and he stayed my fantasy for 7 years!!! Lots of flirting and friendship, but never anything more, I used to live for the hugs goodbye at the end of a day out Blush

One day it DID turn into something more. I think maybe as I got a bit older and the age gap seemed to close, he realised my potential Grin I stayed the night. It was honestly the WORST sex I have EVER had in my life. TERRIBLE. He had a tiny pecker, that he had no idea how to use, he made me go on top and barked instructions at me. He never kissed me. He thought foreplay was touching me as though he was strumming a guitar. He told me he loved me. It was DIRE. I had had too much to drink to drive home so I politely stayed in his bed, holding him whilst he cuddled his fecking dog

Gah, I wish he had remained my fantasy man - I could still be having delightful images of him now Grin

Take this as a warning OP :)

GemsAngels · 03/07/2012 13:21

No worries at all, ask away :)
Yes my heart thumps, my legs go weak and I feel all flushed, its nuts isnt it? I get so annoyed with myself. Saw him last week, came home rang my friend (who is probably sick to death of me harping on about this guy) frantically obsessing.
I am single yes. For me I think its because he is a very very good looking police officer, in uniform, who showed me a little bit of attention, one time. He is a known flirt and has a girlfriend so, acting on this is a no no!
Why do you think you feel this way about this guy??

GemsAngels · 03/07/2012 13:23

Lol at Kaluki yes Iv even thought about getting myself arrested!! Im seriously not crazy, hmm a little obsessed :)

TramadolJacket · 03/07/2012 13:36

I have similar feelings about a family friend who is a car mechanic. I suspect the appeal lies in the fact that he is rough round the edges and so very different to DP who is smart, sensible and professional. I would never act on it, I love my DP, also I suspect like discobeads my fantasies would be difficult to live up to Grin Nothing to feel bad about imo, provided it is just a fantasy.

Original poster
causeforanamechange · 03/07/2012 14:52

discoGrin Really sorry you were so disappointed! To be honest though, his technique sounded similar to several guys i've been withConfused I'm sorry though, I REFUSE to believe that this fantasy of mine has anything other than magic hands and mind reading abilityGrin I'm sure you're right, it's best to stay a fantasy, but I wish it just wasn't soooo bloody intense!

gems, I seriously have no idea why i'm feeling like this about him. There's been no link between us, no significant or insignificant experience whatsoever, other than the occasional "y'alright?" followed by a cheeky smirk from him and I crumble onto the floor in a hopeless heap of lust(in my head that is!Grin) Like I said before, he really isn't my type so I can't put my finger on that initial attraction. I almost like the fact that I can't explain it. The mystery of it all is a huge turn on. Also, it's a very specific fantasy which I have have and that's probably another reason why I just can't shift it. I'm frustrated beyond words right now!!

Just came back from a drive and spotted him again! It's not good when your driving and your legs go weakConfused Luckily I managed to keep control of the carGrin

The fact that i've never had this feeling for anyone else(seriously) makes me wonder if in some way we're supposed to get it on. Some kind of chemical reaction which I can't control. It's like we're supposed to have sex! Does that make any sense?.......

OP posts:
Lueji · 03/07/2012 15:11

DS's swim teacher.
Not helped when he is on his swimming trunks.

I have found out by accident the area where he lives in. Would it be wrong to stalk him and show up at his house? Grin

On the other hand, I sort of had that urge with ex. Didn't end well, so we should all steer clear of these men!

Original poster
causeforanamechange · 03/07/2012 15:34

Regarding Lueji's stalking comment- I hope it didn't sound as though I went for a drive intending to "accidentially" bump into him. I genuinely just went for a driveGrin. I don't think i've ever seen him twice in the same day, so it was kind of like fate was pushing me a little bit more into his manly, tanned, sweaty, weather beaten armsWink I wish!! Preferably he's just come in from the rain, dripping wet and out of breath from running up his loooooong, muddy drive way to get to me, knowing that i've been waiting for him for hours in his giant, messy, yet charming farm house............................. Anyone got any smelling saltsGrin

OP posts:
10987 · 03/07/2012 15:36

I think you are young, you don't get those feeling s every day and if I were you I would try to engineer a way to make it happen???
Sorry!!
it mgiht be rubbish or he mght be the love of your life??

Jinx1906 · 03/07/2012 15:59

A fantasy and the real thing are best kept separate. It is very unlikely that the real thing would measure up. Easier said than done though.

Original poster
causeforanamechange · 03/07/2012 16:07

10987, controversial!! I couldn't cheat on my DP, but at the same time it's torture to think that I may never have this feeling again. I don't know if it's love tbh. I thought it was just super lust, but I just don't know anymore. Why would I feel so much for, effectively, a stranger? I actually feel quite emotional at the thought of this feeling never being realised. What does that even mean? Sorry to be so deep.

OP posts:
GemsAngels · 03/07/2012 16:16

I think that we have to have these fantasies, and not to act on them, for a little excitement. I honestly dont think if you acted on it, it would live up to what you expect. It can be quite frustrating sometimes but its fun to daydream :)

Original poster
causeforanamechange · 03/07/2012 16:25

I'm sure you're right gems. I just wish I knew for sure.

OP posts:
SPsFanjoLovesBrokenBiscuits · 03/07/2012 16:31

I have a major childish crush on a man who lives near me. Always see him at the park with his son while I'm with mine. We talk a little. He is gorgeous!

I hated going to park but saw him one time and I love it. Grin

Keep his as a fantasy because reality never is the same.

GemsAngels · 03/07/2012 17:19

Trust me on this one, its never what you think its going to be!
I am like a school girl when I see this hot copper drive past in his police car, but for me I feel when I meet someone (if) it will pass. For you I guess its different. Are you happy with your relationship?

Original poster
causeforanamechange · 03/07/2012 17:36

Not entirely, no. He's actually quite rough and ready himself to be honest, so I don't think i'm just craving the oposite to what I already have iyswim. I love him to pieces and he's very attentive in that department. I don't get anything like the buzz that I get from the other guy though. Not even when me and dp first met. I got the butterflies etc definitely, but it wasn't as dreamlike as this feels. I guess the best thing that could happen is that I end up talking to this guy and he turns out to be a complete and utter tosser!! I hear him talk in our local pub sometimes and I melt................so I doubt it. He's got this lovely, commanding yet soft tone to his voice, with a bit of a yorkshire twang. He's also really tall, with a really deep voice. Oh god, off I go again. I could actually go on and on about himConfused

OP posts:
GemsAngels · 03/07/2012 17:49

SPsFanjoLovesBrokenBiscuits I think you should talk to him a little more ;)

Oh no you see him out too? I only see this guy in his cop car and running sometimes. If I saw him any more it could become a bit of a stalking problem ;)

SPsFanjoLovesRussellHoward · 03/07/2012 17:52

I will try too gems I am single but not sure about him. I'm enjoying having a crush! Grin

cupcake78 · 03/07/2012 18:17

Lol I love intense fantasies. But seriously surely your first step would be to talk to him. He maybe a prat, sorry but it is just possible. He may also be delicious Wink

itsthequietones · 03/07/2012 18:18

Cause - Where is his hometown? He's sounding a little familiar Grin Could be wrong of course.

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