Nearly a year ago I posted about my sad situation here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1260257-Does-time-really-heal-this-terrible-pain-24-year-marriage-ended/AllOnOnePage
Last Friday, I went into my solicitor's to sign off on the settlement and child support agreement. I wanted to post here to just let those kind people who helped me so much know that I am good and that things are going well..enough. I also want to let those going through similar know that there can be a path out of that terrible pain.
The ex has been reasonable enough about money. I am ending up with 62.5% of all assets. His superannuation in particular as he was a Professor for many years and the super payments in aussie unis is the highest, 17%. I will be able to clear my debts (from having to use a credit card and my sol's fees) and still have money that I can save.
The children and I have moved house; a lovely Queenslander cottage in inner city Brisbane where we are enjoying our new life. My dog is very happy as we have a big doggie backyard that she can explore and run around in. I have the house the way I like it and it is cosy! Very comfortable and people love to visit. The children and I are calm and serene. We have a lot of good times now.
I have lost 32 kilos and look fantastic 
. I go to the gym everyday and have taken up Latin dancing and have lessons 3 times a week (Latin Variety, Salsa Rueda and LambaZouk). I have made a mass of new friends through dancing and my social life is fantastic. I go to the dance parties that the dance school has every Saturday and just dance my shoes off!
The down side to all this is that my nearly 17 year old son has decided that he never wants to see his dad again. He wants to change his name. DS is actually very mature and a deep thinker and said that he has thought about everything and feels that his father is a waste of space and has made his choice. Also that Ex lost interest in him a long time ago. DD still sees her dad (once a month; he wants every fortnight) and says she forgives him as he has not done anything to her. But she has turned to DS as a father figure. DS has not seen the ex since February. I am organising a psych to see DS (ex is paying for it) as he needs to talk this through. But I fear that DS will not change his mind.
I feel so happy. I feel that I have found myself. I am not looking to date again at the moment. I had a few dates (internet dating) but was not impressed. Right this minute, I cannot see how any man can enhance my life which is very busy with work, children, dance, friends and dance 
.
My mother and son told me (over the space of a few hours) that I was a very strong woman and that they were so proud of me. I am strong. I have amazed myself by how I have coped. I just faced things and got on with it often feeling that I had no other choice really.
What has interested me is that many friends have said how inspiring I have been. Which is very flattering but surprising. I use Facebook as a way of describing my journey and struggles. My honesty has been useful to others going through similar.
Signing the papers on Friday lifted a terrible burden off my shoulders. A burden of pain and unhappiness. I literally walked on air afterwards and had an amazing LambaZouk class where I just twirled like crazy!
I just wanted to let others know that there is a way forward; that life can be fantastic again and you can cope. I was very lucky with my children, parents and friends.
This is something I said in my previous thread: although I have lost a husband, I have found myself.