tranny dh, do i get thw green light?

[LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay]

Dh is night time tranny, he likes to relax in women's gear after a bath. Didn't know this when we married. I don't like it, but support him in it cos it dies help him relax, and he's def a depressive so this helps keep the black dogs at bay. Trust me, when he's really bad, it brings me down too. It's v hard to help him out of it when he's there.
This isn't about whether he should.stop etc, not a convo that will help as when he has stopped before he hit REALLY low and frankly thus the lesser of two evils for him to x dress.
Our sex life is pretty much over now. It has killed all.desire in me for him. I'm kinda ok with this, frankly you don't miss what you don't get...

But am wondering. Once or twice I've had the come on for quick affairs. Am utterly disinterested in leaVing my dh. Not only do I love him, I also LIKE him ever such a lot. But sometimes I think Christ I'd love to have the best sex of my life. I aM quite sure it hasn't happened. When we dtd its ok but sometimes shit. ProbaBly like many others' sex lives. Sometimes good. Sometimea not!

So any other tranny wives haVe this problem? I don't know whether I would do if. I don't like the idea of infidelity, probaBly it'll never happen, so that's that. And I'm 40 now, so not like I'm turning lots of heads! That sounds vain, please see it as the humour its intended to be! But I do think bloody hello matey, did u change the gialposts or WHAT?

would I be tarred with the same 'slapper' brush? Sometimes my thoughts on thus go round and round till I think I'll pop!

LMIATW - Have you thought of meeting some other couples in a similar situation? I have a couple of male friends who I meet up with at TGirl events (TGirl means transvestite, transexual, transgender) and have a great time. Lots of couples (married as well) who dress as they 'secretly' wish and spend time at these clubs feeling good with likeminded individuals.

There are websites for people/couples who live like this and, not that I've read them myself, assume you could get some specialist advice on your situation. I certainly believe that many couples can find a way through this and opening up and talking about sex and how his crossdressing can be incorporated to give you both sexual fulfillment is certainly worth investigating first.

Lost, console yourself with the thought that casual sex with men who are effectively strangers is almost invariably crap.

It sounds like you and your dh would both benefit from being able to be much more open and honest about your feelings in your relationship, however. It sounds like from the beginning, neither of you felt that you could express everything you felt in a non-judgemental way and without being judged by the other.

My dh was depressed for ages. He eventually came to the conclusion that this was the result of a mismatch between his internal self and his external one. It was only once he resolved this that he was able to deal with his depression. It has never recurred.

You both need to be able to explore your needs, whether they are his needs to cross-dress/explore his female identity or your needs to feel like a sexual being, without it leading to either of you feeling that it gets in the way of your relationship. If you do not feel like you can do it with each other, perhaps a third party could be of assistance?

Nobody can tell you what the right answer is for your relationship, only the two of you can work that out, but doing so does require you to talk about everything.

cynical and discrete those are really helpful for me. I am really interested in this idea of exploring the possible roots of his depression, as well as looking for advice / support. Thank you so much.

:)