an apology letter from an OW to the wife

[SoSoMamanBebe]

A dear friend had an EA with a friend's husband a while ago. It never went far before they were found out and it caused a schism between everyone. I love my friend so stuck by the principle that good people sometimes do bad things. She was very honest with her husband and they rebuilt their marriage. Through acquaintances she knows that the wife is still struggling and voiced to me that she's thinking of writing to her to apologise. Personally, I thing sleeping dogs should be left to lie. What do you think?

Such a good post Sternface and so true about the wife's fears of how their marriages and personalities have been represented.I was tired and run down (found out underlying health reasons for it months later)and very worried about elderly parents and sick DD at time DH was cultivating his 'friendship with OW
He was by no means getting grief or a hard time over it.He shared my concerns but not enough with me.And finding out that he'd been chatting daily and telling her all about it and 'how concerned she'd been for me '- really?! - was not what I needed to hear.
Your summation of what constitutes a heartfelt appology is spot on.We don't want to hear about OW's needs and what the affair fulfilled for her and how much they miss your DH as a 'friend' ffs.Last words directed to OW not you Sternface.You have it spot on as regards advice to OP.