How can I increase my sex drive

[kbaby]

Dh and I have two dc 8&6, we've been together 18 years and married 7.

Our Relationship over the past few years has changed and become more friend like. We speak, we get along etc but we lead quite in dependant lives and the affection seems to have gone.

Since having dc I have zero interest in sex. I can't even think of a reason why I don't want sex. I love him, he's attractive, I'm not tired. Even if brad Pitt appeared I wouldn't be interested.

I think as we aren't having frequent sex that's why the affection has gone too.
We have sex approx once every six months.

Last night he asked me if I loved him. When I asked why he replied that he feels I don't and am with him as a friend. He said he misses our sex life and if we don't improve things he can't stay in a marriage where there isn't sex.

I didn't realise how much us not having sex was effecting him. So as I love him, and him me, I really want to make an effort and try to improve things.

Does anyone have any experiences of similar circumstances and what did you do?

A lot of women find sex a chore and that's probably because it is a chore when you're having sex over a prolonged period with someone self-concerned.

THis thread, I am sad to say, reads more like an "affair" thread than an affair thread does

OP, you are being taken for a fool, my love

what kind of person (except a detached and uninvested one, and one that is setting you you up to fail) complains about lack of intimacy but then refuses to help change it

OP, you need to prepare yourself. Some time in the near future this man is going to leave you, and blame it all on you

When there is a problem between a couple, it is never going to be solved by the woman just opening her legs and allowing the man to have sex on her. As someone else said upthread, the fact that he won't talk to you, eat with you or do his share of the domestic chores makes it perfectly reasonable that you are not much inclined to engage in sex.

And your last post demonstrates clearly that ooh, what a surprise, he's not actually a poor Nice Guy who's been rejected, he's a knob who thinks you are a domestic appliance with a cock receptacle on it. A decent man with a higher libido than his wife might well want to talk about the issue and try and make things better, but he would be prepared to listen to her and make efforts to change some of his behaviour to please her.

Any Fucker I am so sad to say that I think you may be accurate. Has all the hallmarks ,,

I'm not sure why the OP seemed to ignore the 'affair' suggestions that have now come from numerous posters, but the most recent update simply confirms those suspicions. I agree this reads more like an 'affair thread' than an affair thread does.

Just seen your latest post - I am concerned that he isn't taking on board the fact that he needs to be investing time and energy into the marriage. He is telling you it is you who has to change.

This is a huge red flag and I am afraid he might be on the verge if not already having an affair.

Is he being possessive with his phone?

This man is setting you up to fail and seeking justification for having an affair.

Take control.

Do a bit of snooping - mobile, internet history, emails, deleted folders etc.