Is this normal sexual behaviour?

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I just need some advice pls. I'm in my early 40s but inexperienced because I only had been with DP, who is now my ex. Anyway, met this guy, about my age, met up a few times, enjoyed each other's company and after a few dinners at each other's house we had sex. Two free consenting adults, etc. Bit awkward, I did not ... well, you know, but still enjoyed it. I did not know whether he had come, then we were lying in the bed and he says is it ok to get a beer and I say yeah, so he comes back with a bottle of beer and lies back next to me. So we are lying there and he starts... well, jerking off, and he says it's just so he will come. And then he asks me to tickle his balls. So I do it and he comes. Then I go home and he texts me saying oh, it was so brilliant, let's do this again.

I mean... is it normal for a man to do it in 3 different positions with a woman he says he finds attractive, and not come, and then jerk off openly, asking her to massage his balls while he does it, while having a bottle of beer on the night table...? Apologies if I am being stupid , it's just that my ex wasn't like this...

I'm a bit confused as to why he asked you if you minded if he went to get a beer but didn't think of asking if you minded while he had a wank.

Lol sorry this made me laugh too & I was slightly alarmed with what he might want to do with the bottle!!

Look it's really no big deal imho. If you like him, see him again. If he wants to 'finish off' in this way every time then I'd say rather than him being odd or perverted he's just a bit dull & unimaginative.

Put it down to experience & get out there & live a little, have fun. There is no such thing as normal, everyone is different & I think it's high time you went out there found out for yourself!

No, no, no, guys, sorry, maybe I should have offered a more detailed description of the events (but pls bear with me, this is the first time I'm doing this ). He did ask me if I wanted a drink. I said no.

have you thought that he didnt come because a) he was nervous with a new partner, b) he was trying to please you

i dont think its abnormal, whats normal after all, laying back and thinking of england? just enjoy getting to know someone new and take your time

I think you need to bite bullet, and tell him you didn't like him sorting himself out.

It's obviously normal for him. But then if he thought you were already sorted, it was probably his best bet, wasn't it?

How old is he? And how come he can't tell when he has not satisfied the woman he is with?

jelly, he couldn't possibly be nervous if he wanked off and asked for his balls to be tickled by OP

jelly hahahahah, think of England!!
Damsel We are both in our 40s, he a little "later" than myself but not near 50 yet.

how come he can't tell when he has not satisfied the woman he is with?
I suppose... the same way I could not tell either if he had come ..?

His confidence belies inexperience to me.

Sometimes when men really feel that they've got to show off their stamina and hold back, they can fail to orgasm, but still feel they want to come. A bit of firmer hand stimulus can work wonders.

First time sex is often not great. If you like him, I'd give him another chance.

Maybe approach it with him in a jokey way, it wasn't what you had in mind...It seems weird really that he didn't consider if it was ok to do that with you when you had only just has sex for the first time. It would put me off...maybe mention it to him joking and then give him another chance. It is worrying that he thinks orgasm has to be the goal of sexual intimacy... Wouldn't work for me.

DamselInTornDress, I'm more confused that the OP wasn't sure if he had com or not, but maybe he disposed to the condom neatly, unlike most blokes I now who drop them on the floor.

Not that I've slept with most blokes I know.

sirsugar, I also thought of this...
And I'm evern more confused about his text, which said it was great and we should do it again soon. I mean he had to finish it off by hand (by his and mine, to be precise). How is that "great"?

Sorry, OP, I'm laughing my head off here. This man doesn't sound nervous to me! Sounds like he was quite comfortable, thank you very much. I wish you hadn't said he was the opposite of slim and hair-free. That completed the picture when I'd rather it was incomplete.

So didn't he say anything about why he had to do that? No explanation?

At what point did you stop tickling? Were you tempted to go for a stranglehold on his balls?

'I did not fake but I did enjoy it... and to be honest I felt it's like making him feel bad if I let him know that I hadn't come.'

Well he didn't extend that courtesy to you did he? I assumed he was young. If he's in his forties and can't get you off/doesn't even ask if you came, I wouldn't bother with him again.

He could have still enjoyed te sex with you, you did. Don't take it personally. One more chance perhaps. I can understand about not knowing if they have come, some can be reserved and when you're new to a relationship is not easy to tell.

When it comes to sex, everyone is different...there is no norm. But he really could have got you a beer too...tight git. I personally would have finished myself off and asked that he helped me along before he got to finish himself...ladies first lol

By the way, next time you're not comfortable about something in the bedroom, don't do it, no matter how awkward... It was any already awkward situation. I would have probably said in a jokey way, can't you wait...

imperial no, though maybe I should have, /
I stopped when he was nearing climax. Why?

Oh I had one like this once. I have no idea if he was using porn or not but it never got any better over the couple of months I was seeing him. The only way he could ever come was via his fist while I ... ahem ... did things to him. He carried on as if this was completely normal and didn't seem to notice or care that I wasn't having orgasms. In the end I decided that he was just a selfish tosser and it sounds like this bloke is too.

I felt it's like making him feel bad if I let him know that I hadn't come.

nonononono just no! Honestly it's not all about him. Don't let him think it is! It doesn't sound like he cares much about your feelings. He's a selfish lover, why shouldn't he feel bad about that?

No no no!

You should always be honest if they ask you if you came. Lying is a slippery slope to bad sex.

But he didn't ask. And I did not have to ask him, in view of what happened...

Well, it's a new relationship... Give it time, all a bit awkward at first.