Dh behaving like he is single??

[Windandsand]

Tonight we went to a barbecue and dh spent the entire evening chatting to his friend - didn't even see him as they sat in a private part of the garden- they are business associates. Dcs fell asleep and dh drive us home, then left me to put the dcs to bed whilst he sat on the loo. Then he said he was going out to watch the football with some mates and left. Is this normal? Feel very lonely and let down - I did say he was being unfair but he just said I was being a bitch and I knew he wanted to watch the football. Am I? He said I should be more supportive and I was trying to spoil his night.

I realise we argue all the time now, even the dcs under 5 tell us to stop. He says it's my fault and I need to be nicer. He is always at work, or out after work getting home after midnight and too tired to even take ds to football. We used to be happy but now I feel like we are on opposing teams. Am worried what will happen to us.

Not assuming anything, expat. But it's worth checking out. And it's clearly crossed the OP's mind. What I'm saying is that just because one phone is 'clean,' doesn't mean he's in the clear.

I agree that growing up with an abusive parent is far worse than grrowing up in a single parent household.

I also think that sorting the children is not necessarily going to sort the relationship, whether the problem can be sorted or it is time to move on depends on how damaged the relationship is, and the only people who knows how bad things are, are the op and her husband, not us just getting a glimpse of their relationship from a computer screen.

But I stress the point that it is important that they get talking and hopefully get to Relate. Even if they decide to part, at least they would be able to part in a way that allows them to set a good base for parenting the children effectively post the split. Because believe me, leaving an abusive partner is not the end of the problem but the beginning of a very different problem. The lesser the friction when parting the less traumatic the following years will be)