I ended my relationship with DP

[Ineedadecoder]

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Fuck. Just wrote epic post and lost it.
Dumped DP by text. Not proud of myself but sick of him having no time for me (works full time and has teenage son who lives with him full time) Also admitting to myself that i dont like BDSM (he does). He frequently complains of feeling tired which i think is due to his cannabis addiction, though he doesnt agree.
Things came to a head when he went to a work do and when i texted asking how it had gone and saying sorry i hadnt been in touch for a couple of days as id been ill he said oh sorry that sounds crap, i didnt know you'd been ill (what, would you have actually texted me if you'd known? he then went on about hiw much fun he'd had with this woman who was a client but that i had nothing to worry about as she was a friend and in her fifties so a purely platonic relationship. Er, ok
He rarely gets enthusiastic about anything and this, coupled with the fact that i wasnt going to be able to see him for a few days stung a bit. Id also written that id missed him and asked if he missed me. He didnt acknowledge this.

He has also intimated in the last that this woman - a high-powered banker type - was also into BDSM. Really, i know this is probably insecurity on my part but i just feel life is too short. We are not compatible and i need more. I hope someone can make sense of this. I have namechanged.
So i texted him saying i was not happy and when he didnt reply for 24 hours i was so pissed off i said "obviously you dont have time for me. i dont want to fight. I wish you luck"

Cue angry response from him saying he didnt respond as he didnt want to do so in anger and had been going to phone me later but didnt have time. He thinks i am dumping him for someone else i think. I am not. We had been together 10 months.

FFS that is so garbled and reads like a half-termer wrote it. Apologies. I am a regular poster who is pushed for time and upset. I used to be the sort of person who didnt end a relationship until i had found someone else, but now i think i just want to be on my own.
For those of you who might recognise me, PM me please.

He sounds like a twat, you would certainly be better off on your own.

Really glastocat? His response made me doubt myself. I dont think i handled things in the best way, but its so frustrating trying to communicate with someone like that.
Thank you.

Oh lordy yes, a lucky escape for you there.

He sounds like a prize twat.

Being on your own for a while in between relationships is a brilliant idea. Once you realise that life is just fine on your own, you are more likely to accept someone into your life who will enhance it even further.

Doesn't matter what he thinks about you dumping him. The result is the same: you dumped a selfish, neglectful, pot-addicted no-hoper whose sexual preferences you also didn't like going along with. He can go ahead and think you're shagging an entire football team: he's still dumped, and what he thinks about you is no longer your problem.

You do have to ask yourself what he was trying to achieve by telling you about another woman with whom he had a great time and discussed their sexual preferences . It certainly wouldn't be to make you feel good.

Lucky escape, definitely, and like the lady said, it doesn't matter what he claims to believe about why you did it. As you're not going to be sharing your life with him, it's not your job to prove anything.

HotDamn, thank you. I will take your username as a sign of better things to come!

Have to go pick up DC but will be back. Annie, just to be clear, i dont know the sexual prefs were discussed on the night out, this is what he has speculated about her in the past.

He sounds like a loser and you are well rid. Just the cannabis addiction would be enough for me to have nothing more to do with him.

I wouldn't mind a bit of cannabis smoking, but the BDSM would have me running for the hills! But the lack of enthusiasm, the dodgy chats with older ladies, his general lack of care about phoning you etc, well he sounds like a loser, and I am quite sure that you will be glad to be rid of him once you get used to singledom again! And I bet you meet a far nicer man when you are ready.

So in summary, you've neen going out for 10 months, you're not seeing much of each other, you're sexually incompatible, he smokes too much dope & you don't communicate too well with each other. But he tells you when he's ben flirting with other women.

It's time to have time on your own. You don't need the hassle.

FFS youd never guess i was a frequent poster in relationships!!!

I couldnt see the wood for the trees because we have a history, and because my relationshp before that one was very abusive. I guess he seemed a better prospect...in comparison.
Says it all doesnt it

You should be congratulating yourself- you've realised fairly early on that this isn't working and put an end to it! You didn't want the drama, he just reacted badly. But you certainly sound incompatible and you should be pleased you ended it now, you could have let it drag out for years. 10 months is nothing in the great scheme of things. Move on and put him behind you - don't look back!

Thank you lazarus. I would be giving the same advice, but I feel like I've been dishonest for coming out with all this now when I've been in denial about accepting it for so long. Yes, I am the one beating myself up about it!!!

Yes don't look back lovey, onwards and onwards.

So much more is waiting for you x

You are so more restrained than I could ever be.I'd have finished it with a brick through his window:) Wanker.

I feel a bit silly but what is bdsm. I assume its some sort of sexual preference.

BDSM

YOu have done the right thing, chuck

This relationship was only going down the shitter

You've saved yourself a fair amount of crap, there

Sorry what's BDSM?

Well done! Well done for recognising a loser and ending it. Wow, look at the growth (from previous abusive r).

Onwards and upwards OP. High five.

Wiki definition:

The term BDSM was coined as a condensed acronym in the 1990s to combine communities and practices that had a significant amount of crossover - bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadomasochism or sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM is currently frequently used as a catch-all phrase to includes a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures which may or may not fit well into the original three intended categories. With an ethos of "your kink is OK!" many BDSM communities welcome anyone with a nonormative streak who identifies with the community; this may include furries, cross-dressers, extreme body mod enthusiasts, animal players, latex or rubber aficionados, and others.

Thanks for the link.
OP he is a dick. You have done the right thing. The reason he didn't answer was not beaches he didn't want to respond in anger. He is a dick, that's it. And his excuses are shit.
Well done for getting rid.

AF as always has the best way with words and put it very succinctly.

Sounds like you are well rid

Pat yourself on the back