My sister told me to come on here, and after reading lots of the links and joining i think she is right.
In summary, my husband and I have been married for 12 years , together for 15. Last Friday I found out he was having an affair.
I have stayed very calm at home because of the two children, and because i need to decide what to do.
He has been acting odly recently, i am not good enough for him, all i do i talk about the children and never have enough time for him. He doesnt seem to want to understand that things change when you have kids?
I found out he was talking to people on the internet. We talkabout this, dealt with it.
He hit me, in front of the kids over an argument. We went to counselling, sort of got back on track.
Then i find other phones, new sims, odd behaviour, he joined 3 dating agencies.
Then the booking the hotel etc with this woman. Last night he went out with her to the cinema and for a meal. He totally rubbing it in my face. He clearly has no intention of ending it and doesnt care that he hurts me.
He comes home from work today, and says, do you want a cuddle, i said er no. I still you you you know, er no you dont i said. Yes i do he says. I leave it at that.
In the last few years (and I apologise if two special people are reading this because it will hurt them.) He has punched me hard in the head and burst my ear drum. Hit my whilst pregnant, i should have left then. Called me all sorts of abusive names.
He tells me I am niave, this is normal, if you want a divorce i will be the biggest cunt ever, i chose the wrong sister, the list goes on.
He now says, he wants me to keep on as normal, with him in the house , with him seeing her, for the sake of the kids.
But the kids are my main priority, i dont want this to go on anymore, i want to be independent of him. But how can i do that without huirting them? They are going to be so very upset because they do love him. Am i being selfish?
Any advice much needed....