Mis-matched Sex drives - is there an answer?

[Rachog]

When Dp and I got together we were having sex at least twice a day, as the honeymoon period wore off this went to maybe 5 times a week.

I personally would like to have sex every day but over the last few months dp is only interested maybe once a week.

Now I don't think that ANYONE should EVER have sex that they don't want, therefore I never iniate sex as I don't want to pressure him into something he is not happy with so the once a week/fortnight is always iniated by dp.

he is clearly happy with our sex life as he is getting it whenever he wants it, he does know that I would like more but I try not to go on about it again to avoid putting pressure on, there is nothing that kills passion more than pressure after all.

I would never cheat so sex outside of the relationship is not an option.

Going solo is not the same, for me its more about the intamicy of doing it together that I crave noty the end result.

So basically as the pne with the higher sex drive is the only answer to just get it when given and deal with it? I guess it is as I wouldn't want dp to feel like he had to do it to please me. It just feels a little unfair but not that he is being unfair if that makes sense.

Has anyone else dealt with a mis matched sex drive?

Oh I understood your posts. I just don't agree with them, there's a difference.

Anyway I don't want to derail the OP's thread any further, so I'm out.

Surely one should be able to be 'needy' in a relationship- otherwise what's the point?
It seems as if the 'right' sex drive for women is as elusive and as value driven as the 'right' age to have babies.

Abitwobbly - thank you that made me laugh.

OP - sorry if it's been said already (don't think it has) but could your DHs lull in sex drive be down to feeling a little awkward about sex with you while you are pregnant NOT because of your body changes, but because you are 8 months along with a little person growing there? I read that this happens sometimes.

You say after the honeymoon period it went down to 5 times week roughly, which is fine (isn't it?) but "Over the last few months his interest has gone down to once per week". Perhaps it's nothing to worry about at all, and normal service will be resumed once you are ready after the birth?

And, while i've been out, i've been mulling over whether a 'high sex drive' is only high when compared to a lower one. IYKWIM? 'High' is only too high when it's someone else's problem. Which is sad. It can't always mean neediness.

It is a different problem totally form a complete lack of sex drive from one side, yes.

I think it's hard to initiate when you are scared to get knocked back (not in a cruel way just feeling rejected etc)

We have had this problem before although a lot of it is due to DH being in pain, learning (yes really - didn't actually know how until recently) to go solo has helped but you are right it doesn't replace the intimacy.