I think I?m going a bit mad. Would anybody be able to let me know what they think of this? I?m in that awful shaky post-row state, not had enough sleep and feel very down .. any advice would be gratefully received.
DH went out for a few drinks with a friend last night. He must have got back about 1am I think and I woke up at about 1.40am because of his loud snoring, which had also woken up our DS, aged 14 months. I got up to see DS, who was wide awake, but I couldn?t get him back to sleep. After I went back to bed, DH was still snoring really loudly. I shushed him quite crossly but he didn?t hear, so in the end, I got quite angry and got up, turned the light on and stood over him, telling him to be quiet as he?d woken us both up.
Got back into bed, and basically told him to stop bloody snoring , then he woke up in a start. I told him he was snoring really loudly, and in response, he told me to F off, then when I said really angrily ?how dare you?, he lashed out at me quite violently and hit me on the arm. I think I started crying then, mostly in shock, but he told me to shut up. I asked him to go downstairs (we have a student staying with us - I know, poor him, but I don?t think he heard us, it was all loud hissing really, rather than yelling) which eventually he did, but after he called me a c**t eight times ( I counted) and repeatedly told me to F off.
It?s now the day after and I?m really devastated. I called him up and said he should have taken some time off work this morning (he?s self employed) to sort out the mess that I think he?s caused, but the phone call turned into a row. He couldn?t see (or wouldn?t admit) that to me it was totally unreasonable him coming to bed after a load of drinks and waking both me and DS up, and then on top of that, getting very angry and hitting me etc. He ended the call by ranting at me ?you need to give me respect?.
Oh god, I?ve just read this back and it sounds truly terrible.
Can anyone advise? I would say that our marriage is not very happy on the whole ? massive communication problems where he cannot express himself, gets very defensive etc rather than just being able to talk normally.
I just can?t get that this is my fault at all. How can it be? He honestly said to me on the phone ?let sleeping dogs lie?, as in, I shouldn?t have woken him up. So what was I supposed to have done ? just lie there listening to him snoring while I?m awake for hours? How is this sane??
I should probably say this is the latest in a long line of what I see as totally unreasonable, unnnecessarily stressful episodes involving him. It's probably not the best example, but I'm reachign the end of my tether with it all.
Thanks to those who've read this far...