hi guys,
hope you dont mind me rambling again, but it helps me cope by writing it all down and knowing you are all there to help me through. xx
so it all came to a head today, he came home early so we could talk "he had noticed that i wasnt myself" (like not jumping when he said jump etc)
so i started to tell him how i felt, that after years of being shouted at because the kids beds werent made, or the washing up hadnt been done or i hadnt done his bookwork properly or constantly being told what to do or what not to do has finally taken its toll, i told him i was exhausted, a nervous wreck.
i asked him why he felt the need to shout at me and get so angry with me all the time and he replied if he didnt nothing would get done. (in fact he shouted his reply to me).
He said that the only thing for it is splitting up. i agreed. he said lets face it you dont come near me - and havent for a long time - which i replied do you blame me, would you sleep with someone that constantly belittles you.
i dont even like myself - let alone him!!
our "talk" got nowhere as everything i said about how i felt just got turned around to how he felt and how hard he works, and his expectations of how the house and kids should be is how he has been brought up! the bottom line is he doesnt understand the word partnership - its black and white - women in the house men out working and doing what they want.
he goes on a golfing holiday with his mates next week, so i mentioned why is that fair u go away - no kids - just a big jolly - his predictable reply was i work hard and i am entitled to go away once a year with my mates!!
so the bottom line is we are putting house on market and finally splitting. At least i will have a life of freedom to do exactly what i want.
xxx