Never had an orgasm

[wheniwishuponastar]

Anyone else?

I haven't except by myself!!
Rubbing against something firm but soft rather than fumbling about with fingers does it for me in about 10 seconds. Far too much info, sorry! Haha!
14 years of Catholic all girl 'education' has a lot to answer for in my case!
I've held a vibrator round those parts for about 20 seconds and just thought 'what?', oral does nothing too.

thanks both - no such thing as tmi here!

It took me til I was 30 to figure it out OP.

Now I can do it in minutes but it's all about where my head is.

I take a mechanical approach... clench all the right bits and relax all the right bits... feel the tension rise... let it fall again... keep that going up and down - then finally you can go for a sprint finish.

It's all about individual preference
I hate oral, does nothing for me. I don't like the Ann summers bullet vibe but one I bought years ago is guaranteed to do it
I used to not be able to orgasm, it's got better and now I come very easily and often 10+ times

Do you get enjoyment and pleasure but not the orgasm or is it all just not fun for you?

night sky - it sounds good, but ive had experienced anything like that.
another quirk is that i like sex when im asleep or half asleep, as my husband and i have noticed.

rachog - i do enjoy sex but just no orgasm.

Ok, if no such thing as tmi, try proper knickers and rubbing clitoris with your fingernails. Actually, not rubbing, more stroking.

ok will try it eclectic. what do you mean "proper" knickers?

Maybe, you're thinking about it too much. After having my son and stitches, everything kind of moved and I had to relearn what I liked. During that time, I thought about orgasming far too much while having sex and I think that prevents it for me. Relaxation is improtant, your mind can sabotage you. Lower your expectations maybe?

Until about a year ago I thought I couldn't have orgasms. I'm in my 40s, slept with a variety of men in short and long term relationships, tried DIY, vibrators and so on, no luck. Then I bought Sex for One by Betty Dodson, and a magic wand vibrator (actually Love Honey's own version ) plus a g-spot and clitoris stimulating attachment - and bingo. Worked first time.

Betty Dodson highly recommends the magic wand vibrators. I guess they may not work for everybody, but the book is really good at going through all the possible causes of not being able to reach orgasm (can be physical, more often psychological) and gives exercises to do. Worth a try?

Like big ones so that they cover everything and help reduce sensitivity.

Sorry, I think I may have been muddling two books into one. Betty Dodson is good generally, but the book on causes of orgasm problems in particular is The Elusive Orgasm.

Can you set your shower head to different spray strengths? If you can lie down in the bath and experiment with temperature and spray you may get somewhere. Nancy Friday's Women On Top and the shower thing worked for me. ()

It does take time, take the pressure off.

Thanks for everyones great tips!!!!
Bumbums - i tried that online store but can't see how to order or sign up.
eclectric - a lot of the time (almost all the time) i don't really think about it. just every so often i think, i really must sort this out!
Another - will look up those books
Bewildered - interesting shower tip!

wow and what a lot of missed years. I was about 14 when I discovered how to. It's fun!

Quote from the Wikipedia article on the hitachi magic wand: In 2008 Danish research showed that more than 93% of a group of 465 chronic anorgasmic women could reach orgasm using Hitachi Magic Wand and the Betty Dodson Method.

Don't you just love the Danes for doing all the really important research?

I would also suggest using a lubricant like liquid silk when having sex and encouraging your partner to stroke your clit at the same time. Sorry for being so explicit. It does take experimentation, practice and being relaxed without worrying about climaxing.

Me either op. I accepted it years ago though.

No No No... don't 'accept' it

It is amazing when you get there.

ShowOfHands - I accepted it for years too, but then read an article somewhere and wondered why I had given up on even the idea of having an orgasm. So I bought the books I mentioned in my earlier post, spent a bit of time experimenting by myself, invested in my very effective gadget, and now I am sad I missed out for so many years (at least 25 years of sex with no orgasms!). It really is worth trying the things I mentioned.

I forgot to mention lube too, which is essential if you are trying the magic wand plus attachment thing.

god no way. don't accept it.
I'm not being funny but it makes you see life differently.
if none of the above works just pay and see a sex therapist for some tips. its not embarrassing at all. probably only be one session you need. 45£ voila.

I was about 28 before I could be bothered to get round to it.

Then I was like, OMG I am sooooooooooooooo mad that I wasn't taught this. I mean boys don't need to be taught but girls often do. Inequality central.

actually don't get me started on this topic.