Touchy subject

[first1]

How does one go about telling her boyfriend he's got a bit of a tummy recently? Still fancy the pants off him, only been together 4/5 months so should I just ignore it? Noticed he's not going to the gym like he use to, though still plays football once a week.looked at a pic of us taken yesterday and i reckon he's put on about 5lbs since we met. I'm not not not meaning to sound shallow!!

You're!

I had already started the thread Faversham, before we had own conversation.

This thread can close now. We're a very happy couple thanks.

Young, all over the place and totally in love after 4/5 months

WTF? My post got deleted for saying this was the same OP as a heartwarming thread?

Give me strength!

'put on so much in so little time' = 5lbs in 5months.

it's clear you have disordered thinking about eating and weight and body image.

to say 'i struggle to put on weight' as if you'd love to but then talk about a small slow gain on a tall man as if it is elephantine proportions and a serious health issue. your perception is seriously off. i hope your partner doesn't suffer from your projected issues.

young, very young relationship and has control freakery written alllll over this

do you tell your friends "helpfully" that they've put a few pounds on and they might want to get it off in time to reveal their bod on the beach ?

First1, I can see where you?re coming from, and whether deep down your concern is health related or for aesthetic reasons, it?s better to nip weight gain in the bud than leave it to develop further. If his mum has also noticed it it?s possibly more than 5lbs, and in such a short period of time is going on at a steady pace. If he continues on that course how much will he have put on in another 4 months, or 4 years? Will it bother him and will you find it unattractive? Is this what concerns you?

Personally I do not find overweight men sexually appealing (maybe you don?t either) and I?d be worried if my partner was letting himself go, because if I looked at him and didn?t like what I saw I?d lose a big part of my sexual arousal. I would still love him but I wouldn?t fancy him as much and that would be a shame. I?ve been out with men of all shapes and sizes and have come to the conclusion that no matter how un-PC it is to say, but I don?t find fat attractive and don?t want to fuck fat men (especially if they have bigger boobs than me!) I?d only play the health card if he was getting very fat and it was affecting him, but I would hope he?d have the sense to do something about it without being told.

People who have such "specific" requirements scare me to be honest.

I have always found it to be a form of control old gimmer

Ha ha ha First1, what's it like to be degraded and patronised by the MN Muffia? Welcome to our world ...eek

Obsessing over a small amount of weight gain that isn't your problem because you still fancy him and manipulating him (you were very manipulative in leading him to say he is going back to the gym) is not a caring or "looking out for his health" thing to do. It is a controlling thing to do because his small weight gain which doesn't affect you at all is his business. I've noticed my DH has put on quite a lot of weight since we met but only noticed I don't have any maternal feelings about pestering him to do something about his health because he is not obese just maybe the top end of healthy or very slightly overweight and therefore it is not a health issue. I really dont get or agree with this MN thing of "nipping in the bud" things someone else is doing, really it is just policing the other person's life and I have no wish at all to either do that to dh or have that done to me.

5lbs in 5 months, really not that much.

About the equivalent of an extra banana per day.

Just saying.

Read back people, read back. I said 5lbs is an UNDERESTIMATE as it is noticeable to myself and HIS mother even with his 6'1 frame. I haven't weighed the guy ffs! And going back to the gym is HIS decision.

Next!...

ohdofuckoff

'his' decision. really? he just came up with it all by himself?

i wonder - clearly you don't find weight gain attractive but do you find lap dogs attractive?

Interesting how aggressive you are in your posts first1 when not receiving the responses you wanted.

Definitely time to work on those 'control issues'

To be fair to the op she hasn't posted in AIBU. She wasn't asking whether we thought she was BU. She asked for help to do something a lot of us thought was unreasonable and so we told her so but I don't think she has been aggressive, just defensive which is understandable because I don't think she has considered she might be BU.

I don't know what bu means?

Being Unreasonable. I can see why you are defensive because you haven't really asked about whether you are being unreasonable.

Read the other thread people, read the other thread!

Waits for this to get deleted too.

ooo, is there another thread ?

< joins BIP in naughty corner >

what's the title?

heads off thattaway >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>