Hi
Dh and I have a good marriage generally. He is great with the kids and loves me. He does he share of housework, childcare etc. We both work and he never ever sees anything as my job etc. Might not be relevant but just wanted to get over he is a good guy, I think.
We have had a few wobbles over the last 6 months. He has his own restaurant and always asks for my help when taking on staff. Like looking at CVs, helping interview them. Last November I found out he had taken a female member of staff on, with no mention to me. I went to the restaurant when I was passing in town and there she was. It wasn't open yet, and dh didn't introduce us. So I introduced myself. I asked him later why he hadn't told me and got told he did. I know he didn't, but he was insisting he did. Over the next few weeks, despite talking about the restaurant and asking for opinions she never got mentioned. Again I asked him if she was working out as he never mentioned her. He said (again) that he felt uncomfortable as i was upset about her starting there. i was upset as i felt he had hidden her working there. At some point she left but again no mention.
Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. He is setting more staff on and i have a pile of CVs. On Saturday afternoon he tells me a woman was coming in for a trial shift. He hadn't interviewed her but her cv was through the restaurant door on Friday night so he called her and asked her to come in. No problem. Now his mobile is the business mobile so i use it alot. A text came in from the head waiter, when i opened it all the messages they had sent popped up. There was one from Friday lunch time saying he had interviewed this woman and she was coming in Saturday. I was confused as he told me he hadn't interviewed her and he got the cv Friday night. I asked him and he said 'i did interview her, you must have missed understood' at this point i got quite upset and said i hated that everytime he sets a female on its in secret and always told i am misunderstanding. He kept saying it was me. i told him i felt he was hiding things and it made me feel insecure. He was very reassuring and told me i had nothing to worry about.
She worked there for a week them he came home one night and said that when he got there (he leaves home at 5pm) there was a note through the door saying she didn't want the job. I felt there was something strange, so checked the phone and he had text the head waited at 4 pm saying he had found a note from her. I asked again and was told he said he had found it when he went in during the day, I must have misunderstood. There is a theme here isn't there.
So this weekend. We are still looking for more staff and I have interviewed some. One I didn't. When we were going over it he said the one I didn't see he didn't want. Lets call her Natalie. I asked if any had been offered a job he said no. While I was on the phone taking taking a booking a text came from Natalie. Seeing the text conversation its clear she has been offered a job, she was asking for a rota and if she could go in Saturday morning (yesterday to pick up her wage). Saturday morning came and he doesn't work, but as soon as ds went for his nap dh said he had to go to the butchers and was gone over an hour. I feel like he waited until ds had gone for a nap so we couldn't come. I haven't asked him if he went to the restaurant, but he said he only went to the butchers. This morning his phone was ringing at 6.15am. It wasn't Natalie's number, but I didn't get to it in time. I don't know who it was, we occasionally get prank calls. I did however look at the messages. He text her last night to tell her to come in. Its not clear if its for her wage or to work. She wasn't on the rota I did for him. He then text her giving her 4 nights next week. But not the busiest night, which is strange. Although I have a table booked on this night. I can't help but think that is the reason.
Sorry this is long. So when he gets up I don't know if I should confront him, ask some leading questions or plays dumb to see if he mentions her working at all this week.
Am I being paranoid, or does it not add up. I will admit i am quite insecure. I used to be a fit size 10, but am struggling to lose the weight from ds. Dh says he loves me and there is no way he would risk splitting us and out family up. But something isn't right. But he always manages to convince me that I have misunderstood. But if i am not misunderstanding, why would he leave the evidence on a phone i use? Which is his other argument.
Sorry its so long,but i feel really lost and scared and it feels a bit better to write it.