DH's feelings about how I should spend my day off

[zozzle]

Normally I do the weekly shopping on my day off (fri) while kids are at school. Got in at midnight from work last night so decided I felt too tired to go shopping today so have pottered round the house catching up with housework. Also I had an important phonecall just as I would have normally gone shopping. I will do the weekly shop tomorrow.

DH is now in bed. I think he is sulking that I didn't go shopping today, as I will now have to cut into family time at the weekend to go. The same thing happened 3 weeks ago and we had a row about it.

For a while he has tried to "have a say" in how I spend my time off - he thinks I am not "efficient" enough with my use of time. Yes, because I am bloody cream crackered (and not a natural domestic goddess)!

Is this just a man thing (ie. wanting to use time efficiently) or is he being a total prat?

Essential - if anyone told me to 'crack on' on my day off whilst doing as they pleased on their days off, they'd soon get told to FUCK OFF.

He is good around the house so no complaints there.

My DH likes to manage my time. He tries very very hard and always has. For many many years now I have taken absolutely no notice of his efforts. When he is particularly anal, I might leave him a little list of things I would like help with and failing that just that if I follow the schedule he wants, I shall be too too tired for a bonk when he fancies one to ensure all his hangers face the right way in the wardrobe and his shirt sleeves have a nice sharp crease .

Smile and nod, smile and nod OP, just like at the school gate and keep the upper hand.

When I say DP does the same, I mean I'm fully aware that he too fannies about for hours on end and then flies around building up a sweat and looking busy just before I get home, just like what I do.

I work 6 days a week to DPs five - y day off is midweek while DP works the traditional Monday to Friday. It has taken me a long time to not feel guilty for not running around doing the housework on my day off. It took repeated explanations from me to DP about exactly why I should be making the most of my only day off, especially as his weekends are his 'relaxing time'

Ohhh I'm too tired and tipsy to try and figure out what I'm trying to say. I do have a point. Honest. Basically, he might not be a teat but then again he might be. Just explain. Then if he continues to be wanky then he is definitely a wanker.

doesnt matter really how many days each works, if he's awarded himself the role of boss, then he's being a twat

He is being a total prat. What ever you do don't go upstairs and touch his private bits, at least for a day or two.

its a fact that women statistically put in far more hours at home/with childcare, days off or not, when both partners working

He says we both need to have our needs met in our relationship - and one of his needs apparently is a relatively ordered house ready for the weekend with the shopping done.

Mmm...

I'm off all next week, MY DP wouldn't dare tell me what to do with my time off

zozzle, you know what you need to say when he tells you what his "needs" are

do it your fucking self, what are you after, a servant?

I work 3 days a week, DH works 5-6

on my 2 days off I do as I please which includes some housework and some leisure time

yes, I do (appprox) 3/5 of the house work and organising

but if my DH tried to tell me how things should be to meet his "needs" I would laugh in his face

is he interested in your needs at all ?

tell him your primary need is not to be married to a controlling twat

it's a basic one, but very, very important

what do you do on the other 2 days her maj?

lol I sound like a dh there, I dont mean to be, just nosy.

Am on Weightwatchers but Sainsbugs have £10 champagne and am pissed as a twat

But your work in the evenings is equivalent to his work in the day, so his free evening (not spent shopping) is equivalent to your Friday.

Tell him to do one.

Oh sweetie please please read wife work, really opened my eyes.

Personally I tell him to fuck off.

What anyfucker said- she's usually on the nose with these.

you askin' skirt or tellin' ??

mae sure you drink a pint of water before you go to bed...

the other 2 days ?

a bit of light housework, light shopping, light reading, light lunching, light childcare-related stuff, supervising dc's doing the afore-mentioned stuff, catching up with friends, lots of MN

what else is there ?

I don't kill myself to reach a certain standard set by some other person, that is for sure

and if my share of the housework doesn't get done, I pass it down to the dc's

My DH critisises WHAT I buy when I shop...today I got too much ham and apparently lamb is not for summer... (I got it for a weekend treat as Jubilee weekend) also the strawberries I got "weren't very good".

I told him not to eat any of it then. Twat.

THOTC, then next time he shops

say ''DP Your Needs Are Just That, YOURS''

dh works full time, I am a SAHM but it is him who does the main weekly shop on a saturday morning (he cooks every night too!). I buy things that are needed day to day but we menu plan and he gets the main items at the weekend. He doesnt tell me what I am expected to do in the house and the essentials get done but I am not a domestic goddess!!

I now refuse to write my plans for Friday on the calendar as in the past he's said "Oh, you're seeing X. How long will you be there for?" Meaning - "Have you really got time to fit in seeing X? Won't that mean the chores will suffer?"

Honestly, it's really pissing me off.

so, what will you do about it ?

Why do some women put up with this shit?