Long story short me and bf have been together 3 years. We did split up for 10 months or so last year as I messed up and cheated on him. I out my hands up to this, have taken the flack, grovelled, explained and we started to work things out in September last year and everything has been great since- talk of a future together, always telling each other how much we care, had a fantastic romantic break to spain at Christmas.
At the moment we only see eachother at weekend as we work in diff parts of the country. He was working last weekend but I went to visit anyway to see him in the mornings and evening.
Sunday afternoon we went for nice walk, talking of our house, future etc as usual. He then had to pop back to work which is round corner from his house.
Thought I would check my emails and facebook. Email had a message from Facebook saying I had a message so skipped to Facebook and clicked messages.
That's where it all went wrong. Turns out he has been having a facebook relationship with a girl abroad for the whole time we have been together, including sex talk and plans to meet eachother in his home town. I literally couldn't believe what I was seeing and it has destroyed me.
I sent her a calm message simply stating who I was- she replied saying sorry he's always claimed to be single and they have almost met a few times in the past few months.
My bf always claims to hate Facebook and thinks it's for losers.
15th Dec 2011 he wrote to me on Facebook "What do people even talk about on here?"
21-24th December we had our romantic break which I booked and paid for.
26th December he had a conversation with her which he said "their perfect day would be food, conversation, then sex" "food and sex it is then". She was well up for it and in her reply to me said she sees no reason to break contact with him. They have also nearly met in Jan, Feb, and April this year but for whatever reason (mostly her saying she was too busy) it never happened. But she has said she would still meet him 'platonically' and their realtionship has been MOSTLY friendly for the past 3 years but sex has always been on the cards. Their converations range from debates on subjects to anal sex, her saying she's horny (and him lapping it up) and pictures too. Though the pictures were sent whilst we were split up so fair enough.
I calmly confronted him. He said I had betrayed his trust 'by snooping' and asked me to leave. I gave him a hurt look getting in the car and his reply was 'what's that look for' and 'aren't you going to give me a kiss goodbye?'.
To say I am devastated is an understatement. I am still going to work full time but sleeping 3 hours a night, running 4-6 miles a day (last night from midnight til 1am) and have eaten one meal, 2 yoghurts and a cup a soup since Sunday.
I am very close to his family who think I am 'the one'. They live nearby but I have no-one here really. I come home from work and just re-read the message from her and emails from him after I cheated which said things such as how he has the highest morals ever, would never cheat on me, how could I do it to 'us', and his heart is 100% clean. And yet for our whole relationship this has been going on behind my back.
I haven't heard from him since Sunday and can't figure out if it's getting easier or harder. All I want to do is run and run.
Sorry for the long post.