I need keeping calm tips

[Iactuallydothinkso]

My husband is leaving me. He says he is going on Friday. The kids are going away on Friday for the half term to their fathers so I need to just keep calm til then.

Too long to go into but I don't want him to go. He is adamant our marriage is over and it's a waste of time even explaining to me why.

I asked why he didn't leave straightaway and why he is prolonging it til Friday but he doesn't have an answer. The kind part of me thinks it's because he can't tell the kids and needs to avoid doing that.

How do I keep calm til Friday so that I can tell the kids when they get back and not have a screaming row right now and end up burning his clothes?

I need seriously suggestions please. I can't do this in front of the kids. It would be easier and kinder to tell them later.

I think its good that he's gone. Its cruel to expect you to keep living with him when he's told you he doesn't love you. And changing the leaving date!

As for the possible depression, my husband has it and i do think it could possibly be that but if he won't get help there is not much you can do.

OP What an emotionally draining day for you. It sounds like your daughter has had to deal with a lot as well. How proud of her you must be. I'm sure it won't be easy explaining it to your other DC, but your DD will be there to explain she too, did her best to get him to stay, but DH was determined to leave.

You've done well OP, in keeping it altogether. And now I'll clear the way for the other fab MNers who can help you with any questions you might have on "Next Steps Towards A Fabulous New Life With My Fabulous DC".

Thank you for all your supportive messages. I haven't told anyone close in rl life yet except my parents because I'm not ready to. Thank you for being there.

It is going to be tough, my oldest dd understands why we can't tell the younger two until they get back from their dads. This was hard and tough for her and I didn't want to ask it but it needs to be done and she understands why.

Incase nobody read why, it's because their dad is a shit and won't give them any support or reassurance about it while they're there so they're better off in the long run finding out when they get back.

Those messages have blown me away. I know I have done the right thing but it's so hard. He has probably just left me mourning for the loss of how he used to feel. It's clear he doesn't even like me anymore and I need to be strong and not let that worry me too much.

Next step, making dinner xx

Just wanted to add that I have found rescue remedy really helpful. Perhaps you could get a little bottle for yourself, you take it as drops or in some water. You are doing very well under the circumstances ......... Hugs .....

OP I'm glad that it came out that way - I don't mean it nasty but I'm glad you didn't allow the cowardly piece of shit to leave all the explaining up to you.
I'm so sorry you had to put up with this spineless pathetic arse as you sound so lovely.
Big hugs to you and to your daughter for helping you through this difficult time, she sounds like she dealt with it all very well.
Good luck to you and your DC for the future and you are 100% right...you are worth more xx

No my dd is going away with friends and boyfriend for the week.

She insisted on sleeping in my bed last night. She says it was for me but I think it was as much for her too.

I've been up for hours now as couldn't sleep. Trying to keep my mind off things.

Spoken to some friends now who say they will all keep me busy next week when I'm here alone. Dd said she didn't want to go away but I said I'd be fine.

Cannot decide whether to tell the younger two myself when they come back or let him come back and tell them. If they hear it from him they will know its true but I don't know if I can put them through that or myself again. I keep reliving what he said and it was all about him. Selfish selfish man.

Mortgage requires paying tomorrow and he transfers money to my account and I have no idea if these things are going to happen.

I have a day off today and I'm going to use it wisely and try to sort myself out financially and see what I am entitled to claim and get the ball moving.

I know I know I know this is the right thing to do but all I want is my old life back but then I think clearly it wasn't what I thought it was anyway and that's so difficult to deal with. He told my dd he has been unhappy for 6 years. So this started in our first year of marriage. I find that difficult to believe I really do. He must be the absolute master of lying.

Sweary rant now: fucking bollocks cunty wanker shit head bastard prick twat.

Thank you xx

So sorry about what has been going on.
Wasnt around yesterday,glad you had support from others on here.
Is it worth reminding him about the mortgage?He is also out of his normal routine and may forget??