I need some advice please, I've got no one to talk to in rl & talking to myself only gets me so far! Sorry this might be long!
I have been with dp for 7.5yrs & we have 2 ds, 23 mo & 12 wo. Over the past few weeks dp has become increasingly distant & even hostile towards me. I have also noticed he has started to guard his phone & is on it a lot more. It comes across that he has little regard for me & while I have approached the subject to him, he has dismissed my attempts to talk.
There were various instances while I was pregnant. One in particular upsets me still. 2 days before I was due for my c-sec we arranged that after our son was in bed (we live with my parents) we would go to get him a present from the new baby. As I was putting ds1 to bed dp announced that he wanted to go to his mums (she lives 10 min drive away) as well, I wasn't up for this as being 38 weeks preg I just wanted to get home and go to bed. So I told him I didn't want to go & he said he didn't care that I didn't want to go, he was going so we argued & he refused to see my reasoning & kept saying he didn't care what I thought he's going to see his mum. So he went & I didn't. He came back with some toy car that I wouldn't have chosen for ds1 & while I was awake most of the night upset at the total lack of empathy from him he went to sleep.
Fast forward to one Sunday he was cleaning out the house rabbit on the top landing, I was below looking after the bunny who wasn't interested in me & just lied down. Both ds were napping & I had left my phone on with ds2. So asked dp if I could use his phone to have a look on the Internet (I had seen dp with his phone minutes earlier). He said he hasn't got it, I said I just saw u with it, he says I haven't got it, must be downstairs. So I go downstairs & it's not there. I tell him & he says I don't know where it is, its not on me, I haven't got any pockets. I l knew he was blatantly lying but why? Anyhow I caught him out, while I could hear he'd stopped 'cleaning' I quietly went up the stairs & there he was on the phone quickly stuffing it into his shorts. I confronted him, he said yeah so, I can do what I want with my phone, I'm using it. It's not that he was using his phone, it's that he lied to me. Still don't know why he lied.
Now 6 weeks & things between us are rapidly going down hill. He hardly talks to me, is still being secretive with his phone & taking it everywhere with him, not showing any interest in me or our boys - never asks about our day, no phone calls during the day (when he has always called before), no texts, coming home late, being snappy & angry towards me, not wanting to spend time with me & kids, he's hardly formed any relationship with our 12 week old son, which I find heartbreaking & he keeps putting off talking about our relationship. I dunno if I'm going nuts but somethings wrong & it all points to one thing to me!!!!
I know the 2 instances aren't that bigger deal but they were hurtful. I practically begged him one night to tell me what's wrong & he says he's not talking bullshit relationship stuff cos he's got nothing to say. Every weekend he wants to do nothing but at lunch time (b4 naptime) says he's going out for something i.e. Pet shop & he goes for hours. Today he left at 1 & came back at 4! Said he was driving around. The atmosphere is awful, my poor boy (2.5) has hardly seen his daddy & we often argue when he does.
Last night he refused to kiss our 12 wo son goodnight & I got really angry. So later I said why this change in your behaviour, he's adamant he's not changed. He responds with back chat you'd expect from a teenager. He said maybe you've changed. He went to walk off, I begged him to talk, tried to reason with him that we have to sort this our for our boys, but he carried on walking, saying he's not listening to this bullshit. I was so angry that I told him to go to his mums if he's not gonna talk to me. And he did, he left & didn't talk to me. I called him last night and he cancelled my call & again this morning. Am I imagining all this or is he being totally unreasonable to me??
Sorry for length but I need to hear other opinions.