I'm not sure our marriage can survive him having a criminal record :(

[EzraBlake]

This is my first. I have no one to talk to about this as we have kept this a sectrey from our friends and family.
Some time ago my husband was arrested for stealing from his employer, it was goods to sell not money. I had no idea until the police turned up at the house. After 18 months of the police trying to get evidence they have finally charged him and he will appear in court tomorrow. I think the only evidence they have is that he admitted it.
The last 18 months have been hell, he kept being bailed again and again due to the police not having enough evidence. The only reason he admitted to the police is that I too was arrested and questioned. This was so traumatic as i had no idea he had even taken anything, let alone been involved myself.
I have spent the last 18 months worring about this, I've no idea what will happen at court tomorrow.
Obviously he lost his job with his old firm, but got another job quickly as a manager of a hospice. He had to be CRB checked for the job, as there are vulnerable people there (terminal etc) even though he only works in the office. Obviously nothing showed on the crb as he hadn't been charged then.
I guess with a criminal record he will lose this job.
I am devestated as he loves this job and is happy there, he has been working there 16 months and has never had a day off work.
We have two children to support. I currently work 4 days a week teaching in a college.
I am scared that if his case makes the press, both mine and my husbands reputation will be ruined, and I we wouldn't cope on my wage alone. We've already lost £200 per month tax credits from april due to the changes.
My husband is the nicest kindest person I know. the only reason he did what he did was because we were in so much debt and were frightened we would lose the house, he was working two jobs at the time - 64 hours a week, so was sleep deprived and under stress. I know that is no excuse but I can see how he stupidly thought he could help.
We have since got help from the cccs and are on a debt management plan, somehting we should've done ages ago, so the debt is managed now, although our monthly outgoings are still so high we're lucky to have £10 left at th eend of the month.
I have gone from angry to sad to worried non stop for 18 months, I just want it to be over, but i'm not sure how we are going to cope or whats going to happen.

I am sorry to hear that this has happened, and that you are bearing this weigt yourself.

Ask your husband to go to court early tomorrow and request to see the duty solicitor. He will need to wait whilst the duty solicitor sees the people in the cells first, but after that, if your husband is early enough he will be next on the list. Representation from the duty solicitor is free. If he doesn't like the advice from the duty, he should ask the usher/legal adviser who most people use in the area and go and pay that person to represent him, or at least give him advice.

Somehere in the court building will be your husband's "disclosure pack" this is the main evidence that the police have got to prove your husband's guilt. You both need to sit down and have a look through this. The usher/receptionist will tell you where to get this pack from. This pack also needs to be shown to the duty solicitor for his advice.

If your husband decides to represent himself (not sure why he'd do this, unless he doesnt like the duty solicitor) it helps to be totally upfront, honest and show sincere remorse if he is pleading guilty.

I hope this helps

oh, and often the press won't arrive in court until a bit later (unless there is something particularly juicy) and will sit in the court where the overnight custody cases will be presented (not often the same court as your husband will be in) - so get dealt with as soon as possible, and as quickly as possible.

I am sorry i am unable to offer you only practical advice, rather than emotional. I can only say you sound very scared, but very strong. You will, of course, get through this. Try and get some rest tonight.

i can answer any other practical questions you have :)

Many thanks for your responses. He has a solicitor, although he has not been great, he is meeting him before the hearing to discuss what will / could happen. At this moment in time I think my husband wants to plead not guilty, his defence being that he felt pressured to admit to get me off the hook. His solicitor hasn't advused him what to do yet. We don't know what evidence the prosecution has.
I will be fine tomorrow i'm sure, it's always the not knowing that's worse. I keep trying not to think of the 'what ifs'.

What legal advice has your dh received? Does he have a solicitor?

What has he been charged with and when was he formally charged?

Is the case listed for hearing in the Magistrates Courts tomorrow morning?

If he hasn't had the benefit of legal advice, he's best advised to ask for an adjournment tomorrow so that he can seek legal representation.

Whatever he may have admitted to the police does not necessarily mean that he has to plead guilty and he certainly shouldn't do so without having received legal advice prior to entering a plea.

i am glad he has a solicitor, as he will feel like he has some guidance which is important. The solicitor will not have seen the disclosure yet either, so will not be able to advise your husband fully. It is quite normal that this happen the morning of the court hearing.

i had wondered about the possibility of pleading NG. but the only person who can advise you of the pros/cons of this is your solicitor.

I saw this thread in legal matters too - when this case is concluded, and IF your husband is found/pleads guilty he really MUST come clean with his employers. This offence is a dishonest one. Imagine him being even more dishonest with his current employers by hiding it Then he would definitely lose his job. He needs to face up to whatever punishment he may get (if he gets one) and go, cap in hands to his new employer to explain honestly what happened. That way they could be more understanding.

I work in the probation service. I can't say what your husband will get if he pleads guilty or even what will happen after (I'm up north and we work slightly differently up here). What I can tell you is that it isn't the end of the world. People do get over this, and do get second chances. You'll find that the bit you are going through now is the worst. I've been told lots of times that the court process is the worst part of the whole experience. As for it appearing in the press, it may well do. To use a cliche, what may be news one day is chip paper the next. And in my experience this is really what happens.

Thanks disco. Yes my opinion is that he should tell his current employers, although if he loses his job right away we will be in the crap. His idea is to not tell his employers and just find another job (one that will not require a crb) obviously this is presuming that he is found guilty.
I'm sure he will take the solicitors advise regarding his plea, they will know if he has a chance.
I'm not sure if this is relevant but the amount in value of the items he took was around £600, and obviously it is his first offence (he is in his late 40s)

ezra, have a look here

the bit where it says it is an either way offence, means it can be dealt with in the mags court or the crown court. If your DH pleads NG, he has a choice where his trial will be heard (again his sol will/should explain this). If he pleads G the magistrates will decide if it can be dealt with in their court, or if he is likely to get a sentence greater than 6 months imprisonment (not at all likely in your DH's case, don't forget, theft from employer has no cap, some people embezzle millions)

the fact that it says maximum term 7 years, does in no way reflect the likely sentence for your DH, it is just letting the judiciary know where the most serious cases "end" in terms of sentencing.

If you are able to decipher the guidelines, you will see that your DH's offending falls in the fine-x months imprisonment bracket, with the starting point as a medium community order.

this means that if he pleads guilty, the magistrates will hear from the prosecution, hear from your H's solicitor and then most likely ask DH to speak to probation to get a full report (this is only seen by lawyers and the magistrates, not the press) - and the probation will then look at many factors, again including reasons for offending, remorse, likelyhood of reoffending etc, and will make a recommendation to the court. this could be a fine rather than probation. you can agree to pay a fine by installments (which you MUST keep up with, as failure to do so WILL result in imprisonment)

I should also say (and again your solicitor will tell you this) but if your DH decides to pelad Guilty at the first hearing,his sentence will be 1/3 less than it would have been if he pleaded NG. Which may be a lesser community order than if found guilty after trial - but listen to your solicitor on this, he will know hoe "strong" the evidence is and the liklihood of conviction.

Thanks, I had seen this web page, so have an idea of what mught happen.
I have got myself in a right state now, I didn't even think he may go to prison. I presumed it would be a fine and / or community service.
If this hits the press I do not think I could forgive him.
I think dh wants to plead NG as he is convinced they have no evidence other than his omission. He had tried to sell some bits on ebay, thats how he was found out, but dh says they cannot prove that he actually stole these and did not buy / have these items already. I'm really not sure.

If he had a solicitor with him at the police station it makes it less likely that he will be found not guilty on the basis that he only admitted it because he was worried about you. Any solicitor worth his salt would have advised your DH that when the police arrest a spouse or girlfriend, with no or very lttle evidence to go on then it is a strong sign they don't think they have a case and just want to pile on the pressure.

In theory there will be a lesser penalty with a guilty plea at the first hearing, but in my experience of 25 years ad a defence solicitor I often found that those convicted after a trial often got lighter penalties than I expected because if there were factors of hardship etc. which came out in the evidence then the court could be very sympathetic. Nearly all Criminal Defence solicitors do legal aid - be sure your DH has the best in your area.

So disco beads, are you implying that if the evidence looks flimsy he should plead not guilty when having read this thread you know he is guilty!

He did wrong, admit it, Show lots of remorse and explain how he has changed his life, better to be honest and deal with it than carry it around forever.

He has admitted it, so he is going to look a pillock if he tries to plead not guilty for gods sakes!

His best option is to plead guilty, and explain how much stress he was under and why he did it.

he is highly unlikely to go to prison. please rest assured, and do please get some sleep. Your DH will not thank you for being panicky, you need to be strong for him.

Whether or not it hits the press is no fault of his The offending is his fault, if indeed he did it, if it goes public it is just another thing he has to live with. You probably need to look deep inside yourself as to what is acceptable in your marriage? saying that it is ok as long as noone else knows, doesnt sound helpful for you, as it is likely to fester within you.

your solcitior will explain about circumsantial evidence, and how this will make someone look guilty in the absence of any decent explanation. And coming up with such explanation now, when he didn't give it at the police station will look suspicious, and the trial court will draw an inference from his failure to mention when wuestioned, something he later relies on in court. As he would have been warned.

I do not mean to sound harsh, but I think you both have a lot of thinking to do tomorrow, and worrying about it tonight will change nothing. Be kind to each other, your love will get you through this.

Thanks higgle, it was actually a duty solicitor that told dh that if he wanted the police to drop any investigation on me then it would be best to say that it was all him and I had no involvement. Is this right? Why would a solicitor tell dh to admit it, as now it seems that this is the only reason this is going to court! Surely if he'd said nothing it may have been dropped, although I appreciate i have been investigated and been going through what he has been going through. This happend 16 months ago :(

no maleview I am advising nothing, if you read my posts you will see that I carefully explained that only the solicitor can do that.

but in reality, many people do plead NG due to lack of police evidence when they have in fact done the crime. As appalling as this may seem to you, it is the truth, and is the reason why we have trials to decide guilt or innocence.

DH's solicitor has said several times that it is not up to him to prove he is ng, it is up to the court to decide if he is guilty. He is so angry that th duty solicitor advised him to admit it in his original interview.
It doesn't help that he will be going in there tomorrow not really knowing what he / his solicitor is going to say.
I am not trying to say that it is ok what he has done, provided that no-one else knows about it, it's just that this will effect us enough without our family and friends knowing about it and the implications it may have on my job and the childrens lives.

From what you said in an earlier post I wonder if the evidence is a little bit more than just the confession. You say that he had sold some of the items on ebay - his explanation that these were not the same items might sound plausible, or depending on what they were it might sound ridiculous.
Unless he was a really rubbish solicitor the fact that he advised a guilty plea indicates his view of the evidence might have been different. If there were lots of items stored at your house and being sold on the finger of suspicion could have been heading in your direction too. I'm sorry if you think I'm backtracking on this but I can only suggest again that your DH gets a solicitor he feels confident with and listens to and takes his or her advice.

but your DH will be able to speak to his solicitor tomorrow. he will not go into court until he has sat down with his solicitor, gone through the evidence and had a proper chat. I promise. It will all be sorted out tomorrow.

It might feel like last minute to you, but there is no point advising someone on "maybe's" - its best to see the evidence and make a judgement call, in conjunction with your DH's instructions and wishes. Solicitors act for lots of clients every single day, they are used to thinking fast and assessing evidence, and advising on plea. All will sort itself out tomorrow.

It is up to the prosecution to prove he is guilty, of course, but if there is a confession, then they are obviously home and dry, and your DH will then have to defend himself and prove himself NG.

i am off to bed now, but i will answer you in the morning if you are still worried. I hope all goes well, please do update us wont you. :)

Your husband IS guilty. Why should he be angry that he was advised to admit something if he did do it???

Discobeads, are you a lawyer? I am, and if you know the person is guilty you can never advise them to plead not guilty.

A friend of my dad's took nearly £30,000 from 2 sports clubs and his employer. His business was in trouble. He pleaded guilty but was already paying back some of the money. He had character references written by people who had known him for a long time and who vouched for the fact that this was out of character.

Also a CRB check is just a disclosure - your husband should let is employer know immediately. As his current job involves people not property they may not sack him.

Good luck for tomorrow

If your DH is guilty, he should plead so and take the rap. If he were genuinely sorry that is what he would do and let the court decide if there were any mitigating circumstances.

Pleading not guilty when you know you are guilty is immoral - I thought you said he was a great guy

I know I am being naive but why should he walk away scot free when he stole things?

I am a lawyer, and from all of the indications given by the OP, her husband is not going to admit the offence to anyone. The OP may believe he is guilty, but I believed that the husband was going to say he admitted it in the police station because he was worried about his wife, NOT because he committed the offence. Hence why I said that his solicitor would advise him how to plead.

Anyway OP, I hope all is going well for your husband today and he feels more secure with the advice he was given by his solicitor this morning.

I am sorry, but he did wrong, he got caught and now he has to face up to that.
It is a shame that your post repeat over and over what if it is in the paper, I will be so ashamed I wont forgive him, I will leave him and so on, did you not understand the for poorer and for worse part in your wedding vows???

He did wrong but you could at least try and give him some support