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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Single for 5 years and need help!

88 replies

namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 20:49

I am a single parent since befrore my dd2 was born 4 1/2years ago. In that time I have had not even a kiss. I have started to have feelings for somone I work with.As far as I know he is single, we get on very well and are quite flirty.
BUT I don't think a relationship with him would work (like the sex idea tho' ).
Can someone tell me what to do

OP posts:
littlemissbossy · 17/02/2006 20:50

Why wouldn't it work?

Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 21:06

He is 38(I think) 13 years older than me, he hasn't been in a long term relationship for a long time, we don't have that much in common
and we work together!

OP posts:
Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 21:49

bump

OP posts:
littlemissbossy · 17/02/2006 21:50

sorry, wasn't ignoring you, been offline
but you say you get on... so what's the problem?

Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:04

Its a long time since anything and I don't trust my judgemnet.Don't know how /if to start anything

OP posts:
7777777 · 17/02/2006 22:10

i would say keep it to fun flirting and dont go for the sex even tho it might seem very very tempting. i only say this becoz you work with him, wot would happen if you had a brief fling?i think you'd prob feel quite uncomfortable working with him. could you not just go out for lunch in your dinner break 'as mates' and get to know him and see wot happens or get a vibrator!you never know, if you have his a good mate to have a laugh with things could develop

7777777 · 17/02/2006 22:10

i would say keep it to fun flirting and dont go for the sex even tho it might seem very very tempting. i only say this becoz you work with him, wot would happen if you had a brief fling?i think you'd prob feel quite uncomfortable working with him. could you not just go out for lunch in your dinner break 'as mates' and get to know him and see wot happens or get a vibrator!you never know, if you have his a good mate to have a laugh with things could develop

Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:16

prob is don't get any chance out of owrk ( school) as no breaks some nights out but none lately.
been so long even getting fed up of vibrator

OP posts:
Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:18

this is only the 2nd time in 5 years I've even been interested enough in anyone

OP posts:
7777777 · 17/02/2006 22:23

why do you not think you could have a relationship, perhaps a slow burning one with being mates first. could you start emailing him or phoning him up for chats. also double check that he is single, i dont work in offices but ive heard all sorts of stories about married men shagging the office girls

Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:27

we do text , can't think up enough 'excuses' to phone ! , I know he lives on his own , have been to his house

OP posts:
7777777 · 17/02/2006 22:30

oh youve been to his house, so youre quite pally anyway then. well thats a good start. is it tidy or a typical bachelor pad, my exes house was full of dust and footie mags and dvds all ove rthe floor and the kitchen was gross!

Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:32

half term now- is it too sad to try and make 'excuses ' to text him?

OP posts:
Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:34

Definatly man house!
looked like he had crawled out of the house to go to work!
cds /music everywhere only got as far as living room so not sure of kitchen

OP posts:
7777777 · 17/02/2006 22:37

go on text him, you never know it might be the start of the next big love story

just say "im feeling randy and my dd is in bed, are you up for a visit?" only joking

Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:40

got no kids tonight , all on my own and on here -how asad am I !

OP posts:
7777777 · 17/02/2006 22:42

oh god you just have to text him then!you cant sit on your own thinking about it. im terrible when i fall for someone, i fall big time and then get bored and scared and run away.youre not sad by the way

Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:44

I get scared !
I have only ever had 3 relationships (all long ones)and then nothing for 5 years, just don't know where to start!

OP posts:
Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:47

does the age thing matter?

OP posts:
rickman · 17/02/2006 22:47

Message withdrawn

7777777 · 17/02/2006 22:49

no the age thing doesnt matter to me at all. ive always liked blokes at least 10years older than me. when i was 21 my exhusband was 37.

can you not talk to him and tell him you really like him but youre scared of getting involved too quick or do you not feel you could say that. you probly could if you drank a bot of wine! has he got kids

7777777 · 17/02/2006 22:50

nicely put rickman, i dont wana get involved again for a looooong time

Original poster
namechanger500 · 17/02/2006 22:52

won't see him til a week on mon as its half term I've been reigned to being on my own-don't meet many men!4 men /40women at my school! and i don't get much

OP posts:
rickman · 17/02/2006 22:53

Message withdrawn

rickman · 17/02/2006 22:54

Message withdrawn

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