Dating thread 15! cock-cages, hopeful pensioners the occasional glorious success!

[Snapespeare]

apologies for title, I am bereft of ideas as the sodding times 'kindly' edited my profile for me.

Have you thought about threatening to tell his gf what he's doing? Would that make him think twice?

What about changing your mob number? Your provider will do it for free if someone is being a nuisance.

I think you need to stop being so nice. You're obviously a love and dont want to hurt his feelings, but youre going to have to either (1) ride it out, continue to ignore, he'll eventually get bored at some point (2) go
Down the police/harrasment route (3) no, theres only really two options.

This cant be easy. :( he potentially sees this as quite romantic and is frustrated by your inability to fall at his feet. I absolutely echo (was it time or chaotic?) the arrogance of the man, he cant have what he wants, he's determined to bend you to his will, thats not exactly alluring. I think youve made the right decision...

I have. Without a doubt. And there are now only two options now, aren't there.

Ive told him not to contact me again.

If he does, and keeps it up ( over a few weeks without response from me) then ill tell him unless he stops I shall go to the police.

I'm not changing my number, I've had it for 6 years.
I also wouldn't tell his gf. I mean, there's nothing to tell really.

The only way to deal with a man like this is to ignore him. Even threatening with the police won't stop him, he won't be worried about that because he is a 'charming man'. This is not a romance to him either, he doesn't want love, he wants control. You haven't had contact with him for a month, he has sensed you distance and this has bruised his ego big time, he has to prove to himself he is still a wonderful being, he has to have your adoration to do this. It isn't about you, it's about him and how having you care for him, care about him, adore him, make him feel. While ever he thinks he has a chance, he will continue harassing you, that's why you have to go completely no contact. He will move onto his next victim once he realises he is getting nowhere with you, you just have to ride it out. And another thing, if you do give in and give him what he needs, he will drop you like a hot cake when someone else shows him the level of interest he thrives on, he won't care about you, he will just drop you and leave you wondering what the hell happened. So stop feeling guilty and start feeling relieved that there is a good distance between you.

:)
Absolutey. I totally agree.
I hadn't even given him a thought all week either..
It's my guilt Thats keeping it going. I dont have to feel guilty. Ive done nothing to feel guilty for. So I just have to ignore.

And you are right about the police too I suspect. He has a legal team he uses for all kinds of stuff, so would use those to get him out of it.

It's because you are nice person Watch and, because you are 'normal'. What you are dealing with is not 'normal'. It's difficult to understand and it causes massive conflict. But yes, absolutely the best thing you can do for yourself, is ignore him. Switch how you feel from guilt to relief. Each time you receive a text, delete it immediately, do not give it head space, if you can bring yourself to do it, delete without reading it, then give yourself a pat on the back for doing the right thing, for you. Feeling guilty is just you punishing yourself, because he won't care, guilt is wasted on him.

Good plan.
And it really isn't normal is it.

I wouldnt delete them, in case You do need them as evidence at some point. Is there a way of auto-forwarding them to a spare sim or chucking them in a folder somewhere?

Ah, good point.
I have the email I sent still.
If I forward it, I'll lose It's from him.
I don't have a spare sim.

I have a special folder in my email entitled 'Bastard' and this is where I store all emails from the ex. On my phone I put texts in the 'saved items' folder. Could you do that?

I can't do anything with my texts, just checked.

What about something like this? www.treasuremytext.com/

Best thing is ignore if you don't want anything to do with him.In my experience dnt even read the messages,it will keep u thinking and not be able to move on.is hard but ignore ignore.

Definitely ignore. It's the only thing to do. Take back control. You know you are strong enough to.

I might have a date today if I can get q baby sitter.

Agree with Snape don't delete the texts. I also agree with Time that you have to completely ignore him but, and I don't want to worry you here, you need to keep the texts as evidence in case it gets to the stage where you feel you need to contact the police.

Atm it's best to just ignore him though. It's a bit like a toddler having a tantrum, if you give in after 10 mins then he knows he only has to keep it up for 10 mins next time. It's not going to be easy because he's narcissicistic enough to find it hard to believe that you can resist him but you have to stay strong. We're here for you if you need us to help you stay strong :)

Thanks. I probably seem really useless now, don't I.

I'll keep the texts, just in case. And just ignore

At somepoint he's got to stop,hasn't he?

Yes, he will stop, if you stop engaging he will stop. He gets his power from your response, he doesn't see things the same way you do, he probably doesn't even read the words you write, it's just the fact you respond. Once you stop responding he has lost his power, he will move on. Don't worry, just stay strong.

Yes, he will stop and move on but it will take staying strong and ignoring him from you. You are strong watch. You can do this.

The police would probably advise you to contact your provider and ask them to block his number. If the texts aren't threatening they probably wouldn't do anything.

Yes, they probably would. I was thinking more along the lines of proving harrassment, especially if watch has explicitly asked him to leave her alone.

Mmm, if only it were that simple. I wish it was. If watch has done everything within her power to stop him contacting her, i.e blocked his number, blocked his access to facebook, blocked his email, etc, and he still persisted by other means, then that would be more likely to be deemed as harassment.

Hes blocked via everything but text. I can't block texts. My phone wont let me, it will only block calls from that number.

Last time I checked with my phone provider they couldn't do it either.

Ive not heard anythihg today, so far. I predict a week to 10 days.

See, i

Kind of feel like its my own fault for re engaging.
It is, isn't it.

It's not a 'fault' to engage, under normal circumstances it isn't, but this isn't normal circumstances. Now you are aware that the circumstances are exceptional, if you do continue to engage then yes, you do have to take some responsibility. Also, it cannot be deemed as harassment. Sorry. Said kindly and with love

Also, I can understand why you responded to him, I totally can. You personally have done nothing wrong, it's not you who is the problem, it's him.

No offence taken :)

I think he's just lost control Abit. Hopefully will come to his senses soon. And so long as I never engage again, then nothing can happen.

It shouldn't have to be that way though.