This is a problem my friend is having with her husband and she's not on mumsnet, so I said I would ask advice for her. (I am happily divorced!)
They are both mid 40's and have 4 children aged between 20 and 9yrs old. Her husband doesn't drink all the time, but when he does,he doesn't know when to stop. He will go out, sometimes for most of the night and come back virtually unable to walk or speak. She makes him sleep on the sofa when he's like this (understandably!), and many, many times, he has wet himself and soiled himself.
This has happened again last night and my friend is very angry and upset and doesn't know what to do anymore. He is also quite overweight and will binge eat. He has tried to lose weight several times, she told me this morning that he once had tablets from the doc that help you to lose the fat from your body, so he would take them and then eat loads of chocolate.
I don't know what to advise her. She gets angry at him and he won't talk about it. This has been going on, on and off for a few years. In between they get on really well and have some lovely family times together. It's such a shame as he is a really lovely bloke and I know they do love each other and their kids are great, but she is very worried about the state he gets into and the inability to get to the toilet. Has anyone had similar experiences to this? any advice I can pass on would be great...... but please not advice to divorce him etc as this isn't what she is looking for! Thanks in advance....