H and I now in counselling, we have so far been three times. While there has been a slight shift between us and things are easier and less argumentative, it is becoming very apparent that we seem to want completely different things out of our relationship.
However, even though counselling is kind of confirming what I already knew about our incompatibility, the fact that is has so far made our day to day life slightly easier is making me think that actually, if things become "ok" between h and I, then there is no way that I could justify a separation.
I think a separation would be devastating for all concerned (including me), but living with someone whom I seem to understand so little and vice versa, and whom I find critical, unaffectionate, controlling, cynical and closed, and who finds what I want over the top and literally doesn't understand it (ie. us to be best friends and to communicate deeply without becoming angry and blaming), is making me feel very lonely and depressed - kind of disassociated from life and other people 
.
Does any of this make sense??