Come and tell me all the good things about living on your own...

[moonriver]

Dp and I have broken up after eight years (no dc). The split is a mutal and friendly one, but it is still hitting me hard.

I am due to move out in a fortnight and although in one way I`m looking forward to it, I am still a little nervous.

Please, anyone who has been through a similar thing, please come and tell me all the good things about living on your own...

Great thread

My rules rule eg no shoes on inside

Eat whatever I please , DC happy with more or less whatever they are given to eat/ or really appreciative

Listen to rap music without being told its shit

Have room incense sticks or candles that "stink"

Watch crap TV without being judged

Not be woken in the middle of the night by drunken arrivals home/drunken attempts to find the bathroom

To come and go as when I want , decide second by second what I will do

Live in a calm atmosphere unsullied by moody arses

Been mentioned I know but ...not having a blow by blow account of their triumphs things at work , oh and then not a shred of interest in my day

Do things we want without listening to tirades about "the public" and how he doesnt do "people"

Have the lawn full of weeds and not actually give a monkeys

Yes indeed this and so much more really , its hard to explain but the whole essence of life is nicer and happier

Leaving the house as clean or messy as I want, and not having to deal with comments on the state its in
Not feeling guilty about getting a cleaner
Being able to leave crafting stuff out, and continue to work on it tomorrow
Being able to have seeds starting in pots around the patio and not having loads of comments on it
Knowing that my nice biccies will still be there for me to eat halfway through the week, or even on a Thursday night when I NEED some choc
Bed to myself
No whinging about loads of stuff
Being able to choose dinners myself (and only having a bacon sarnie as dinner if I want)
Not feeling guilty about dancing to TOTP2 late at night to release stress
Having weekend time to read the papers and enjoy just sitting in the garden doing nothing
Watching movies on the couch in front of the fire in the winter -in the afternoons!
Going to see family/friends because I want to - and having the time to rather than racing around after everyone else at home

God you guys, feeling pretty miserable in my marriage right now but not bad enough to leave. Would be more than happy to live on my own so not sure if I should be reading this .

I thought I'd feel a bit lonely in the house after my 'D'H moved out...but no...I feel much much more comfortable, have started taking an interest in interior design (bought House and Garden last week!), DIY and I actually enjoy spending time in the house now. It's great. Would recommend!

Annie, you are ace.

Morloth, more info re digging into the peanut butter please. I love pb, haven't found a way of eating it yet that doesn't avoid digging it out of the jar.

Ignore the double negative. You know what I mean.

Yes forgot a big one , do literally nothing on the sofa all day sunday if I feel like it. Nobody saying "so are we (ie me) doing a roast then ?" .

No more listening to thumbs clicking on an xbox controller!!

I'm a control freak, so being the controller of the house, my job, the children, the remote, the car, the money, the shopping, the washing, the holidays, the days out, interior decor etc all appeals hugely.
I'm the boss of my life, no compromise necessary unless it is going to affect the DCs.

Living alone is great. Particularly great with PMT. If I ever live with a man again, he'll have to camp out in the garden one week in every four. (I don't actually have a garden, but I don't have a man either so am free to be hypothetical).

My STBX will be moving out soon and this thread has cheered me up.

No more picking up after anyone other than DS

Won't need to have a constant supply of beans in the cupboard

No more stinking toilet trips

No random articles of clothing left in every room

No more picking pieces of paper off the washing because I actully check my pockets

No more sodding Mythbusters!!

Can't wait now :)

You have more money

Less stress

eat what you want, when you want

Decorate how you like

There's always bacon and cheese in the fridge when you want some (for me anyway)

No more of his coming home with half a dozen of his workmates round and then I have to feed them all

No crap lying about

No sweaty armpit smells or cheesy feet

No cold feet touching me in bed

Nothing poking me in the small of my back at night

No wandering hands when you either just a cuddle or go to sleep

It's fucking bliss and I wouldn't change it for anything.

oooh one more...

I get to go on the computer WHEN I WANT! and there's no moaning or huffing and puffing as he's waiting to go on it to play sodding COD!

Having a long HOT soak in peace when the kids are in bed and no-one coming in halfway through, blinding me by turing on the lights and stinking the place out while having a dump, then complaining that they want to go to bed aka, they want sex.

OMG how I DONT MISS THAT AT ALL!

A lot of the joys of solo living are small, shameful bliss. Faves include:

1. Rip-roaring belches and farts - from oneself.
2. Wandering round starkers
3. Not having to legshave or pop yellow spots.
4. Scratching languidly.

And the unashamed, money can't buy good stuff:

1. Silence. When you need it.
2. The bed.
3. Ability to watch a 12-week TV series without conflict/stress.
4. Eat/listen to/read/etc what you want, when you want.

I really wouldnt stop - I need to relax, and wandering hands in bed or a rancid loo don't do that for me.

Being able to watch my fabulously obscure foreign films without someone tutting and muttering and spoiling my enjoyment

Being able to eat toast for dinner if I feel like it

Wearing comfy slobby clothes while dossing round the house and putting no make up on all day

Being able to sell all the furniture and starting again.

Just realised I can repeat myself here since the AIBU crowd don't seem to appreciate the bliss of chosen minimalism

(starting over with the way the house is and sitting in virtually empty rooms atm)

On that note - being able to seriously consider selling the tv - I may never have the freedom to make that choice again in my life :)

Being able to have a hunk of cheese and a plate of chips at ten past eleven on a Monday night

Just thought of another one - when my new laptop arrives later this week I will be able to keep all the windows etc stickers on it.

Ex was a real 'sticker bully' - wherever he saw one on any of my possessions he would not shut up about how they needed to be removed/were unsightly/can he take them off now/why not/they're irritating him and on and on til I gave in for a bit of peace.

What a weird thing to be looking forward to

I have loved the last few weeks of new found freedom. In particular;

Freedom from guilt for putting me and DC first.

Eating what i fancy, when I want.

Booked a holiday for me and DC that ex would have hated.

The fantastic feeling that I no longer worry my actions will send him into a mood, I'm more relaxed and happier than ive ever been.

Getting not just one, but two adorable kittens
Not having to kill myself cooking & cleaning straight after work
Getting a fan circle of friends that I can see/talk to when ever

And last but not least -
Being able to take that very well paid dream job in a male dominated industry, traveling all over the world. Through which I met my current lovely husband

oh yes, not having a tv is great, when we split I was more than happy for him to have the telly

Two kittens - that was worth breaking free I bet quite apart from the high flying job opportunity :)

I'd have rather removed a limb than let the tv go at the time of the split Mercury (another thing I paid for and ex just hogged night after night)

Used to need it to make it feel like there was 'someone' else in the room with me but couldn't care less now.

I celebrate that as an important step on the road of being comfortable with my own company nowadays.

Not having to shave your legs or get waxed unless you want to
Drinking a whole bottle of wine to yourself whilst watching the soaps
Going out without having to text anyone to let them know when you are going to be home
Radio 2 whilst you are getting ready for work on a morning
going on trips with your girlfriends
talking on the phone for as long as you like
eating cereal at anytime
spending your money on yourself
not having to hide your Kurt Geiger shoes
wearing your period knickers any day of the month
washing your clothes without having to mix them with smelly underpants/socks.

Yy to the sticker bully. Exp had big sticker rage too esp with new phones or cameras. I like the leave the protective film in until it falls off to protect the screen. He tried every justification to yank them off. I notice you can buy pack of the films for iPhones wtc....... To keep them nice!!!! It's not just us bibi

I second coming home in the knowledge that the house is exactly as I left it and knowing the only 'moods' are from me and DD.

I agree that there is considerably less housework, stbxh worked away yet still managed to trash the house at the weekends.