Liking someone you can't have...

[teddybears]

How do you stop yourself from thinking about them every minute of the day and feeling like a silly teenager with a crush and moving on with your life when you know it will never happen?

(I've name changed)

Shag someone else.

Every time you think about them, force yourself to think about all their annoying habits and issues too.

If you don't think they have any annoying habits or issues then clearly you don't know them that well anyway!

Just concentrate on why you can't have them!

Do not think about them. When you do make yourself think of something else. No matter how dull. I was dumped three weeks ago and I REALLY liked him. I don't let myself think about him, don't look at his FB page, deleted his numbers and messages. It hurt tremendously for about a week and then my mind stopped thinking about him because I wouldn't let it. I feel ok now actually, not 100% but better than I would have expected too this soon after. Cold Turkey, it's the only way.

Some good advice, I speak to him several times a day for work purposes so it's very hard to switch it off and forget about him.

I don't know him THAT well, we're probably more in "friends" territory at the minute and the signals from him are very confusing.

He does have couple of annoying habits but I think they're cute

Find something or someone else to focus on.

Am a big fan of the "get under them to get over them" school of thought. However if this is a no go then you need to make sure you don't see them and keep out of their way as no good can come of it. I know that's hard. Good luck, OP.

Stop being 'friends' with him or you will never get him off your mind. Only speak to him when you cannot avoid it. Does he know how you feel?

Grow up.

thanks chub, as if I don't feel a big enough idiot already.
This is not a common thing for me!

He doesn't know how I fee adamschic.
He instigates most of the contact, sometimes needlessly under the pretence that it's work related but recently he's even stopped making excuses and as part of my job is to communicate with him and his company the contact will always be there.

That was my genuine advice. You aren't a teenager. Stop acting like one.

Why is it never going to happen? Are you attached already?

No Squeegle, neither of us are but we have careers and lives a great distance from each other and it would probably have serious consequences for both of our jobs if we got together. Far too complicated.

Ah... Shame! If that is definitely the case then you do need something to take your mind away from romantic fantasyland!

Can't advise really- when I read your post I felt an affinity, as I have a bit of an obsession with someone at work. I don't think it will ever happen there as he is about 10 years younger and pretty sure not thinking of me in that way!!!!

You can't 'stop' feelings, they're just there. But you have control in what you do about them. I think I would follow the 'get under them to get over them' advice - you're both unattached. The distance thing will either get too boring, or one of you may re-locate. Can't really comment on the 'serious consequences for your job' part, but it's your private lives, I would just get on with it - life's too short to pass up a chance of happiness :)

Ps Chubb don't be so harsh- we all enjoy a bit of romantic fantasy sometimes- it's not just for teenagers!

Yes, I second that skull....

I agree that lifes to short to pass something up. Does he like you in the same way? If so I don't understand why you cannot act on it if you are both single. The job situation sounds strange, unless you have both taken holy orders .

at adamschic and holy orders!

Just jump his bones.

Then you'll know whether he's worth dreaming about all day!

So you're both available? Crush away, then! Enjoy the mushy feelings and tingliness, and by all means do something with them.

Not exactly Holy orders, no

Our companies must communicate and largely do so through us. We're suppose to be representing our company's interests. I'd be concerned about our roles if there was anything between us. I'm not even sure if they knew about our current relationship (i.e. friendship) they would be too happy, particularly his as they seem horrid to work for.

I don't know how he feels adamschic, I sense that he does have similar feelings and I'm normally the last person to pick up on that type of thing. The terrible flimsy excuses he would make to call me, calling me about very minor things his staff really should be doing and recently he's just stopped pretending to call for anything other than a chat. He's also under a lot a work related stress and over the last few months has taken to leaning on me and relaying all that stuff to me. I've done the same to him too I guess, my job is also stressful and he makes me feel better about it.

You all were suppose to help me get over this, not encourage me!

I'll help you, teddybears... those three little words you DON'T want to hear.... 'Conflict of Interest'. If one of your companies is the client, you could find yourself in big trouble.

If it's not applicable, just think of the difficulties you would invariably face if people became aware of your 'pash' for this guy or his for you? Undoubtedly people would question whether your work is affected and, I'm sorry to say, it is nearly always the woman's work/demeanour that is considered affected, even if it isn't.

Did that help?

Yes! That helped Lyingwitch, that's what I'm talking about!
Neither of us are a "client" so there would be no conflict of interest in that regard but yes, our work and ability to do our jobs would be questioned, and they'd probably be right.

So all far too complicated, I just need to get over it.