Great things you never would have done if you hadn't split up with your ex...

[Divorcedand2teenDDs]

Another thread has inspired me to start this one. It's often hard to see the silver lining when a relationship is ending, but it also opens new doors you otherwise never would have noticed. Capture yours here to encourage and inspire others.
I'll start by saying if my exH hadn't left I'd never have:

1. Realised how fantastic my women friends are
2. Had some great guilt-free sex
3. Taken my DDs to NYC
4. Started wild swimming
5. Got into size 10 jeans again

had a guilt free drink (alcohol)
gone on a guilt free holiday with my best friend
had some great nights out
had lazy sunday lie-ins with my dcs watching dvds in my bed
gotten my lovely dog-child
been able to grieve for my cat
been allowed to pay for my cat to have the treatment he needed

At the end of my marriage I took over something that I knew nothing about, that had previously been done on a charitable ad hoc basis, and turned it into a business. Its still early stages, and its been hard, but it kinda saved my life at the time, having something to focus on other than the sheer awfulness of my life.

I also started writing a blog (www.parsleythelioness.wordpress.com) and started doing more craft projects. Also, dd and I rescued a black cat. Actually, she might have rescued me...

Wild swimming sounds great!

Got a secret tattoo.

oh good thread

I'd never have :

Managed my own finances and spent my own money on what I wanted.
Eaten what I wanted when I wanted and not eaten stuff I didn't like.
Gone to bed when i wanted with out waking suddenly to find him staring down at me snarling.
Stopped worrying about appeasing him/caring about what his reactions would be.
Listening to my 'shit' music LOUD!
Watching my 'shit' TV LOUD!
Stopped being embarrassed about him kicking off about perceived crap service in every shop/restaurant we went to.
Realised that I can reset TVs, phones, fix leaks, unblock toilets because I'm not 'useless'
Look in the mirror and smile cos I'm pretty damn hot (To him I was 'quite attractive SOMETIMES)
Washed my own car, arranged my own insurance and got the damn thing through the MOT all by myself!
Saved enough money to take the kids on holiday next year!
Had incredibly hot sex with some incredibly hot men.
Stopped dreading weekends and having to be in the house with him for 2 whole days.

Am sure there are loads more...

Met my wonderful dh and had a child with him.

Met my wonderful friends
Have sex again
manage my own finances and spend it how I want to
felt attractive again
gone to bed when I want to
watch what I want to on the TV (in fact don't really watch it at all)
Read in bed
Drink in the bath
Go on week-ends with my friends
Pop in to see my friends without paniking about the time, dinner not being ready etc..
Plus I no longer walk on egg shells
and even more importantly, I no longer cry
(well I do sometimes but not every day....)

I'd have never taken up my singing hobby, discovered the joys of solo travel, had my DS, or been able to eat a meal containing swede

Ever been happy again.

Ahhh.... RUMR, hope you are now

Great thread!

1. Met someone who thought I was worth anything
2. Had sex
3. Fallen pregnant
4. Gone to college
5. Travelled a bit
6. Gained some independence
7. Gained a whole host of new friends

:)

Thank you noluck, I am

Met DH

I would never have:

Worn high heels again (he was shorter than me)
Eaten out again, ever (he was a v,fussy eater!)
lost 2 stone (heart break diet )
got my belly button pierced
But most importantly
Met DH and had our 2 lovely DCs

What a great thread idea.

Lost weight and lived the life of a young woman instead of a drudge.

Went clubbing with friends without a slap when i got home late.

Took the dc on holiday alone and enjoyed it with no moaning alcoholic man to spoil it.

Finished my degree.

Bought a funky little car instead of a family saloon.

Developed my female friendships.

Dressed how i wanted to.

Bought white bed linen.

Raised my dd to be treated well by men.

Met my soul mate and love of my life.

Had my baby dd.

Gone to Tuscany on my own
Spent new year in Dubai
Pleased myself re food, tv, anything
Slept on the right side of the bed again
Met the love of my life
Been able to show my children what a loving relationship between two adults should look like
Had two nights a week to myself and alternate weekends

Bonded with my DS properly.
Found out what fantastic friends I have and been able to see them when I can.
When the Ex bothers to turn up I get to have a child free couple of days and not feel guilty about not being with DS.
Met a lovely new guy who I have laughed more with than I ever did with ex.
Eat in bed.
Stress levels lowered dramatically as I did not need to have to deal with the fall out from his first wife and his family who are awful.

Bought feather pillows and duvet (he was allergic but I love them!)
Stack the dishwasher my way
Got much closer to my DDs
Had a surprise party organised by my friends (he would never have done something so thoughtful)
Had my extended family for Christmas
Switched the light on to read in the middle of the night
Felt genuinely proud of my achievements without having to play them down

Invited people in for meals and parties.

Started physical exercise.

Watch decent TV programmes at decent hours.

Have had much less drama, in fact hardly any in my life, and stress (even with the death threats).

Hardly ever cry, apart from occasionally because of TV.

Worked at or from home with no interference.

Cooked duck at home, as well as smelly fish.

Kept bottles of alcoholic drinks for more than a week at home.

More disposable income.

(ok not all GREAT things, but still fantastic :) )

googietheegg
"I know because clients ask me to do work for them again - continual assessment!!"

Actually that just means that you product work at a consistant level of quality at the right price. It doesn't mean taht you are any good.

sorry wrong thread, my bad. jsut discovered another windows shortcut key :)

BoneyBackJefferson

Are you lost?

*Lueji"

nope, ctrl + tab cycles through the tabs on internet explorer.

similar to pressing windows key + tab on windows 7. :)

Being in charge of my own money.
Not be nervous every time the door opened.
Being able to express my opinion.
Having 2 more children.
Having fantastic, giving, consensual sex.
Truly being deeply in love.
Being able to relax and be happy.
Not being interrogated constantly or criticised.

Being able to be me and breathe again

Being able to buy and eat things for me and the children that we like.
Have both butter and salad cream on a sandwich without being made to feel fat and greedy.
Kept my new job. (before, even getting there was sabotaged by him, making me unreliable)
Going to bed to sleep, not to be woken up by a knob.
No feeling of dread and quickly thinking what haven't I done that he will critisize for, with the sound of the key in the door.
Lots of little things that don't seem great, but are amazingly great, that amazing, fantastic feeling of freedom and normality for me and dcs.